r/WouldIBeTheAhole • u/Pale-Experience-2409 • 1d ago

WIBTA if I sent my in-laws the booking confirmation after my BIL told them the anniversary trip was from him?

My husband and I wanted to do something for his parents’ 40th anniversary coming up in November. We found a beachfront rental that fits the whole family for a long weekend and my BIL said he’d go in with us, $1,700 each.

A couple days before the deposit was due he texted me that him and his wife bought a house and can’t swing it right now. The listing had already been booked and cancelled on other people and the deadline was that Friday so I just put the full $3,400 on our card. We figured he’d pay us back once things settled down but that conversation never happened.

This past Saturday the whole family went out for the anniversary dinner.

Toward the end BIL tapped his glass and told the table he’d booked mom and dad a beach trip for their anniversary. My FIL actually teared up. MIL went around the table to hug him. The whole table was clapping and congratulating him and I just sat there watching my husband stare at his plate.

On the drive home I asked my husband if he was gonna say anything. He told me his parents are genuinely excited and he doesn’t want to start something over it.

The next day FIL called my husband. I could hear the whole conversation through the phone. He just kept going on about how great it is that BIL came through and my husband sat there saying yeah the whole time.

Since Monday BIL’s been in the family group chat acting like he’s the one coordinating this trip. “I’ll send everyone the details this week” and “let me know your flight times so I can figure out cars.” He hasn’t asked me for a single damn piece of the booking information.

I’ve got the confirmation email right there with my name on the booking and my card charged for the full $3,400 and I can’t decide whether to just let him take credit for something he didn’t pay a cent toward or to forward it to the group chat and let everyone see for themselves. WIBTA?

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u/TheRealCarpeFelis 1d ago

Oh, he should definitely be the one to do it, but since he seems to have zero spine, if OP decides she’s had enough of this nonsense and says something herself I wouldn’t fault her for it.

Hell, if I’d been OP, as soon as BIL announced that he booked it I would not have been able to resist calling him on it right then and there.

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u/CrossFitMathIsHard 1d ago

Well, yeah, but that ship has sailed. I would have opened my mouth SO fast at that dinner table.

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u/BigRedJeeper 1d ago

I immediately would have been “Excuse me, you didn’t pay us anything and told us you couldn’t afford it. So we purchased it on our own. Now I’m REALLY confused. Are you saying that you ARE going to split the cost with us now?”

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u/Entire-Flower1259 9h ago

Or something similar.

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u/FrequentSale1655 1d ago

So would I! Seriously!!!

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u/physhgyrl 1d ago

That's what OP should have done. She needs to just tell her inlaws now

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u/FarLaugh9911 1d ago

Me too. I prefer to deal with BS like this right when it rears it's ugly head.

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u/sunshineinthe813 1d ago

I stopped my BIL in his tracks at a family dinner when he showed his ass towards me - like he was somebody. I snapped my finger and pointed in his face. Barked at him to shut it or I will do it for him. I’m the eldest sister and you won’t disrespect me.
My dumb sister’s eyes popped open and said no one had ever done that to him before. She was embarrassed because they play the “he’s the man of family” even though he’s so financially stupid

Douche canoe BIL is still a broke bitch 30 years later. We just retired. I win.

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u/ResilientEnough 12h ago

I really do love the phrase “douche canoe.” It almost sounds french. It trips off the tongue so nicely. I need to add it to my lexicon of insults.

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u/NookieNinjas 1d ago

Saying he has zero spine is a little harsh I think. Family dynamics are weird. Maybe his brother has always been the favorite or something. The husband should stand up for himself and it is week of him to not do so. But he’s no Ed Sheeran.

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u/imBobear 20h ago

Weak of him not to do so = ZERO SPINE

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u/princezznemeziz 21h ago

Zero spine.

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u/THOUGHTCOPS 7h ago

Like you, ZERO FUCKING SPINE!

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u/Mysterious-Art8838 22h ago

Really wouldn’t have been that hard in the moment. ‘You booked one too?? Oh dear we will cancel ours.’