r/Unexpected • • 6d ago

Never let them know your next move

60k Upvotes

609 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 6d ago edited 6d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.


OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:


Clumsy guy actually made the solid goal


Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

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8.9k

u/Joe-King_93 6d ago edited 6d ago

“If you don’t know your next move how can they”

  • Me just now

1.4k

u/DueExample52 6d ago

This is a legit technique in combat sports. Don’t telegraph

463

u/AmptiShanti 6d ago

Can’t telegraph if you don’t know your own next move - checkmate

257

u/randomMomo 6d ago

Can't telegraph if you don't know morse code.

107

u/itsme99881 6d ago

Cant tell a graph if i dont know one

33

u/Smooth-Shine9354 6d ago

Mambo number 5

18

u/kevlarus80 6d ago

Johnny Five is alive!

4

u/Captinprice8585 6d ago

He just got knocked out because he didn't know morese code.

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u/WriterV 6d ago

Ngl, this was literally me early on when playing football [soccer] with my friends as a kid. I was a terrible goalie. But as soon as they put me on defence, I wasn't just playing very successfully, I was outright scaring the opponents.

Turns out my playstyle was extremely aggressive and unpredictable, and my friends on the opponent team were just unable to figure out what I was gonna do. And some of them thought I was just gonna run right into them lol.

8

u/Yamatocanyon 6d ago

I had the same position in soccer and hockey. I played both games pretty similarly.

3

u/realmauer01 4d ago

The only difference being in soccer you have to stop before making contact am i right?

4

u/Mineturtle4042 6d ago

Happy cake day!

2

u/Happy-Estimate-7855 6d ago

You just knocked over your own Knight.

42

u/Sennten 6d ago

It is absolutely possible in combat sports (and in other areas) for your opponent to know your next move even if you don't, though.

13

u/bestisaac1213 5d ago

Boxer here, it’s because almost every move you make in boxing is preemptive based on your opponents current position. If I know you’re slipping to your left, there’s only so many moves that you’re able to do from that position, and there’s many ways to limit what further attacks people can make, so my next 2 moves are already mapped out ahead of time before the punch is even thrown

18

u/Kraven_Lupei 6d ago

Get to high level of some games and you can do the same too.

Years ago I played Tribes on a competitive team and I loved the moments where I got into an opponents head during a duel. "Ok, I grenade left to make them dodge right and burn their energy then I come in from above and shoot down on their head and combo with a grenade based on the way my splash moves their character after the first hit..."

Getting "in the zone" felt genuinely like cheating/hacking with how easily I could predict what my opponent was going to do at that level.

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u/Rath_Brained 6d ago

Master of the drunken fist is not when you fight drunk.

It's a martial arts style that is cultivated to be unpredictable due to the erratic movements.

3

u/Lucky-Thanks-2082 5d ago

Game Theory developed this back in like the 50’s, and it resulted from some of the stuff we did in world war 2.

3

u/WayneDwade 4d ago

Legit technique in every sport

6

u/ANS__2009 6d ago

Just improvise

7

u/Ichizen911 6d ago

Isn't that the basis for drunken fist

2

u/Soulsfarmer 6d ago

That’s legit my strategy in any Fromsoft game.

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u/_Praise_Gaben_ 6d ago

Been a well regarded technique for over a century now:

"the only thing that saved me was my poor flying. I didn't know what I was doing myself and I do not suppose that Richthofen could figure out what I was going to do" - WWI Ace pilot Wilfred "Wop" May when talking about his involvement in the downing of the red baron.

14

u/thehelldoesthatmean 6d ago

That's a hell of a thing to say about helping take out the Red Baron. Damn. WW1 fighter pilots were wild.

3

u/rickrmccloy 6d ago

So his involvement in shooting down 'The Red Baron' was flying with Cpt. Roy Brown, then? That is impressive.

3

u/thehelldoesthatmean 6d ago

Uh, no. It was running interference to make Richthofen able to be shot down. And Brown didn't necessarily shoot down the Baron. It's unknown who actually did.

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u/rickrmccloy 6d ago

Sorry. I really should have made it more clear that I was only joking. I did not make that clear at all, sorry for that.

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u/CompSciBJJ 6d ago

This is also true in a lot of sports, where a complete beginner can be more difficult than a practiced novice because they don't know how to play the game "properly" yet.

I find this a lot with grappling, where a complete beginner can be more dangerous because they're unpredictable so you have to consider all possibilities, whereas someone who has started learning proper technique does all the things you expect but badly, so it's easy to shut them down.

12

u/Jester1525 5d ago

I used to do medieval reenactment sword fighting.. You could really screw with experienced fighters by getting them into a pattern - high, low, high, low, low - because they would recognize the pattern and subconsciously expect it.. The newbies would panic and smack you because they had no clue there was a pattern at all. Makes fighting them interesting because they are easy to beat but occasionally do something completely unexpected.

8

u/boogideeb 4d ago

I would compare poker playing to this. Bad players play so bad that it can be hard to know what they are doing.

3

u/_A-V-A_ 4d ago

Explains why I was unstoppable at my local poker group. The first couple of times, I mean.

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u/BarNo3385 3d ago

The amount of doubles we got between and against newbies was embarrassing, until you've done it quite a lot most of the limited training done goes out the window in a spa and you just get "attack attack attack" regardless of how open it leaves you.

2

u/imMadasaHatter 2d ago

This is commonly parroted yet it’s bullshit.

A beginner is never ever more difficult, just often more dangerous.

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u/imamakebaddecisions 6d ago edited 4d ago

I was in a local Poker tournament for charity once and I really just wanted to lose my chips so I could leave but the cards kept going my way no matter how crazy I played and the guy next to me literally wanted to fight me.. We left with a TV, donated some money to charity and made an enemy.

14

u/One-Permission-1811 6d ago

That's how I won $2,000 playing blackjack at the casino. Bunch of coworkers found out I'd never been to a casino and I'd just turned 31 so they took me. Had no clue what I was doing but I kept winning. My coworkers were going nuts

46

u/Junkhead_88 6d ago

This is how I win boardgames.

14

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

6

u/TheSyhr 6d ago

I heard something (dunno if it’s true) about chess players below a certain elo having a better win rate against GM’s than mid level players because they had no idea what they were doing, whereas the mid tier players understood the basic rules of play but just didn’t execute them very well

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u/AkatsukiEUNE 6d ago

They can't know your next move if there is no next move

10

u/Thandalen 6d ago

I think I read Goofy being a mastermind for space fleet battles using this strategy. Some Enders game ripoff.

11

u/W1D0WM4K3R 6d ago

Same reason Deadpool and Moon Knight terrify Taskmaster.

Taskmaster for reference is special in that he can copy and beat you with the same martial arts or moves you do. Deadpool just does whatever while still being an extremely effective assassin, so Taskmaster has nothing to use. Moon Knight is much the same, except he's more self destructive, insane, and personally flew an airplane/helicopter (can't remember) into Taskmaster. Can't really copy a guy who has no self preservation skills.

That's not to say Deadpool won't take a hit either, with his insane regeneration.

6

u/fastspanish 6d ago

America’s strategy in WWII

5

u/ExtensionElephant900 6d ago

I recall seeing some Russian notes about the Americans war strategy and it was basically this

3

u/Specialist_Ad9073 6d ago

Or Drunken Master from decades ago.

2

u/PacoMahogany 3d ago

Literally how Vin defeated Zane Ventuire

3

u/IHateTheLetterF 6d ago

This is how the US army works

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u/Little-Helper 6d ago

Why does this look as if it's being filmed behind a window?

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u/Sir-Craven 6d ago

Secret spy footage of Manchester United training session

9

u/I_am_The_Teapot 6d ago

They've really upped their game it seems.

4

u/awesomefutureperfect 6d ago

The way it looked like he tried to walk it in made me think it was Arsenal.

2

u/farfromelite 5d ago

Southampton.

17

u/imma_letchu_finish 6d ago

Arent all camera lens put behind a window? #windowlivesmatter #cameraglassarewindowstoo

2

u/boi1da1296 6d ago

Kinda looks like a finger that’s just in view of the lens.

2.0k

u/manocska1991 6d ago

331

u/Zak_Rahman 6d ago

The human face without Botox.

So much communicated without a single word.

41

u/Pietjiro 3d ago

10

u/Quantum_Wake 2d ago

Looking a lot like Professor Lupin there Tom.

86

u/caninolokez 6d ago

Needed this laugh. The combination of disgust and confusion in the initial reaction in relation to the source.

I feel like a motherfucker critiquing art at the fucking Louvre.

15

u/Salvations_Armi 6d ago

Elite use of the gif, good sir.

8

u/largz08 6d ago

Literally my reaction

2

u/Rosilev 5d ago

What is that gif from

4

u/Xitbitzy 5d ago

Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets.

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u/360NoHoP3e 6d ago

He has some nice juggling skills

38

u/Dame87 6d ago

Jiggling*

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4.0k

u/thinkpunk31 6d ago

That's actually pretty impressive. Controlling the ball from the back of your legs to shoot it out takes skill. Bravo!

1.8k

u/HJSDGCE 6d ago

He acts like he has no skill, followed by a very difficult maneuver.

811

u/DueExample52 6d ago edited 6d ago

If you are weak, appear strong. 

If you are strong, appear weak.

  • I want to say Sun-Tzu but it’s ptobably misquoted as fuck like anything with him, Einstein, Churchill, or Ghandi under it.

Edit: I'll be damned, it was him.

262

u/VliegendeCavia 6d ago

I am weak, and I also appear weak. The ultimate fake out.

67

u/DueExample52 6d ago

Confident weak? That's scary. Means you must have something else up your sleeve.

22

u/bronzelifematter 6d ago

That's what he wants you to think

12

u/SenorSolAdmirador 6d ago

appear super weak, then standard weakness looks strong by comparison

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u/Emergency_Lie42 6d ago

The myotonic goat strategy. Very nice.

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u/Tokumeiko2 6d ago

No that is from the art of war.

The best way to make an enemy fight you, is to look like you don't want them to.

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u/CockroachesRpeople 6d ago

Sun-tzu invented ragebaiting

8

u/Pagiras 6d ago

Truly, THE Master Baiter. I bow my head in honour.

8

u/bluefootedbuns 6d ago

"If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him"

- Sun Tzu

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u/koromedy 6d ago

If you are Sun Tzu, appear Einstein

If you are Einstein, appear Sun Tzu

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u/Fairemont 6d ago

"When the outcome of battle is uncertain, make sure you quick save." - Sun Tzu.

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u/BigDaddy2127 6d ago

To confuse the enemy, you must first confuse yourself - General Tso's Chicken

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u/JuanDeChuj 6d ago

San tzu in strategy is like Euler I maths. Everywhere

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u/Aximil985 6d ago

Pretty sure that's right.

5

u/eranam 6d ago

Nah, it’s indeed Sun Tzu, you’re right.

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u/thegoten455 6d ago

Sun Tzu said that. And I think he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, seeing as he invented it!

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u/Sauce0423 6d ago

To act out having no skill actually takes a fair amount of skill

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/KonigSteve 6d ago

lol. this is how I know you haven't played. You don't fluke the move he did at the end.

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u/bobloblaw28 6d ago

That was some incredible balance on display there, not to mention the fine motor function to not move his upper body during execution. I think he's very good, just overweight.

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u/SaxAppeal 6d ago

He’s definitely got real foot skills. He just has negative fitness so nothing looks even remotely athletic. But that move at the end is a very real trick, he clearly knew exactly what he was doing in this clip to make it hilarious.

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u/darkerside 6d ago

He sells some of those step overs quite well actually

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u/binalleinezuunfaehig 6d ago

bot comment

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u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 4h ago

[deleted]

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u/binalleinezuunfaehig 6d ago

oh that's cute. but it's actually more about the fact that it uselessly repeats exactly what happens in the video. almost like some sort of training or something? hm

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u/[deleted] 6d ago edited 4h ago

[deleted]

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u/binalleinezuunfaehig 6d ago

Yup completly natural way of communicating/commenting. I always just write what exactly I just saw in the video that everybody else can see too. I mean It's actually kinda sad that you don't see it and are so gullible. People like you are the reason it's so easy for them to use these bots to control everything on the internet. But it's too late now anyways so whatever

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u/SwordKneeMe 2d ago

It'd have been very easy to tell you they were human by now as well.

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u/Kolarian 6d ago

yep we saw the video

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u/ConfusedHors 6d ago

Yo that was bloody sick. Didn't expect that!

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u/tree-molester 6d ago

He had me in the last half

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u/xychosis 6d ago

That was kinda like a rainbow flick lmao, he might look a tiny bit clumsy but he’s legit skilled as fuck

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u/mayoite1470 6d ago

What he just pulled is WAYYYY more technically demanding than a simple rainbow flick

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u/Leather-Analyst7523 6d ago

This is actually much harder than a traditional rainbow flick

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u/Jamih__ 6d ago

It’s called an AKKA 3000

3

u/PlanktonInitial7945 6d ago

He probably made himself look clumsy on purpose to deceive the goalie.

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u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/Ambitious_Rough_7616 6d ago

This is correct - I know all 1.5 million people that bought the same GAP hoodie as me in 1997

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u/YoungBockRKO 6d ago

Can confirm, I know you and you know me, gap hoodie squad UNITE.

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u/perhapsasinner 6d ago

I swear every team have one of those players that didn't have the physique but have incredible technique lol. I remember back in high school I'm playing futsal against this one team and then my friend pointed at this one fat kid and said to me 'That guy is the most talented of them all' and I didn't believe him lol, apparently he said the truth, that guy can dribble like he's Messi ffs.

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u/Themothertucker64 2d ago

You know even funnier? Messi’s peak as a goalscorer was during the time he was a fatass

Fat gives you supernatural talent in Football

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u/CremeSalt5223 6d ago

To be fair, what the fuck.

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u/DaveMash 6d ago


First I got reminded of him but damn dude got skills

5

u/Melkman68 6d ago

Is he from Terminator?

17

u/AXEMANaustin 6d ago

Full Metal Jacket.

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u/MrWilee 6d ago

Best acting job IMHO in the movie and favorite of all time for me. Too bad it's only for part of the movie.

But as far as this footballers skill it's crraaaazy hard to do that.

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u/JustLetItAllBurn 4d ago

Also the same actor that played the Edgar bug in Men in Black, which I didn't realise for a long time.

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u/bajungadustin 2d ago

He is a phenomenal Kingpin in both daredevil series and Echo. He was born to play that part.

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u/Elbjornbjorn 6d ago

He also went out with a blast

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u/gillbeats 6d ago

Who else underestimated this dude?

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u/BabyLegsDeadpool 6d ago

I mean... I did, but only because I believed the lie he was selling, not based on his looks.

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u/SaxAppeal 6d ago

The looks definitely helped sell the lie

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u/BabyLegsDeadpool 6d ago

Hmm... Yeah I think you're right.

2

u/Lillillillies 3d ago

The long pause definitely helped

5

u/Smooth-Brilliant-940 6d ago

I don't think anyone underestimate him. I think he was just as surprised at the end there as everyone else.

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u/_Mr_Misfit 6d ago

I thought he would score.. but god damn.. not like that.

Beast.

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u/Sunny_Unicorn 6d ago

Graphic content?

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u/Frisbijs 6d ago

Because he murdered him

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u/venturousbeard 6d ago

Using that tag for humor is a great way to set people up to accidentally watch something they don't want to later. It's dumb and inconsiderate.

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u/ExtensionElephant900 6d ago

Jesus Christ that’s Jason Bourne Leo Messi

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u/ToTheTop24 6d ago

Don’t judge a book by its cover, soccer edition

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u/FullmetalPlatypus 6d ago

Heavy Kane?

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u/Kraligor 6d ago

Looks more like Rooney in his prime lol

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u/Jiquero 6d ago

Looks like Ronaldo past his prime.

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u/professor-chaos19 6d ago edited 6d ago

Lionel pepsi

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u/r3turn_null 3d ago

Roberto Calories

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u/PlaDook 6d ago

Fat Ronaldo at home:

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u/AlternativeSwimmer89 6d ago

Thought this was CR7 clip from latest game

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u/StreetYak6590 6d ago

He would’ve missed

5

u/Sidonkey 6d ago

And yelled at his team mates

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u/Particular_Ticket_20 6d ago

"Outstanding, Private Pyle. I think we finally found something that you do well."

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u/Song-Prior 6d ago

He does not appear clumsy to me at all. It is unexpected to some people b/c he is a little older and carrying a few extra pounds.

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u/RebootDarkwingDuck 6d ago

It's unexpected because everything up until that point did not show any finesse or ability at all. He was just kind of hopping around the ball.

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u/Song-Prior 6d ago

Google scissors or stepover move in soccer. He is actually exercising a series of feints that are used in games to unbalance an opponent. Of course, it is not pretty since he is out of shape, but the guy has clearly played the game before.

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u/Krutius- 6d ago

Awesome!

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u/Suspicious-Use-5733 6d ago

Craziest shit ive seen

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u/MissXM 6d ago

In this match nobody knew their own move or had a short term amnesia

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u/ReasonableConcern765 6d ago

Wait that was actually smooth. I wasn’t expecting that.

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u/No_Competition_5887 6d ago

I don't know what I expected.

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u/NuclearGriffin 6d ago

That was smooth af

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u/foreverlegending 6d ago

Penaldo would have been proud

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u/New-Permit-2501 6d ago

Well done mate

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u/tootwatted 6d ago

I thought he paused to shit in his pants

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u/loowig 6d ago

i was 99% certain he was just shitting in his pants while keeping intense eye contact. maybe he did on top of the flick. pure dominance.

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u/Murky_Clothes7137 6d ago

Lionel Messy.

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u/NoMajorsarcasm 6d ago

That was unexpected, I was hoping he wasnt shitting his pants as a distraction 😅

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u/ANMatthews01 6d ago

also don't judge a book by its cover

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u/95castles 6d ago

Street ball players saw this coming from a mile away lol, but I love it

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u/Practical_Soil_5383 6d ago

Not gonna lie it's kinda impressive to me!

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u/Lost-Swordfish279 6d ago

Never let them eat you next pizza

2

u/-Wicked- 6d ago

"This is my ball. They're are many like it, but this one is mine."

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u/wangdubruh 6d ago

He recollected the whole trick in head first before execution

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u/McJolly93 6d ago

I’m not great at Spanish and read his name by default as brown chocolate in my head translation

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u/Realistic_Grade5632 6d ago

There is no "ão" in Spanish, so every time you see that you can be sure it's Portuguese.

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u/Late_Faithlessness24 6d ago

Bruno is a name in portuguese, it's means nothing

And Cocão is a informal way to say big head.

It's Bruno Big Head

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u/SelfInteresting7259 6d ago

Who tf could have predicted that lmao

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u/Accomplished-Tax-211 6d ago

Nice! Slick move at the end there.

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u/SourTangieTerps 23h ago

Goalie knew he was good

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u/Emmennater 14h ago

while you are doing all that some kid comes and slide tackles you and steals the ball away

1

u/armageddon_boi 11h ago

grab types in fighting games:

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u/SubjectEnd303 6d ago

Better than Neymar

1

u/PsychoLeopardHunter 6d ago

Is that the Bruno Cacao Beans?!?!

1

u/mr-english 6d ago

My GOAT... Belé!