r/ThatsInsane • u/Guyentertainment • 10h ago

Man, 64, Charged After Allegedly Tying up Wife for 45 Minutes To Watch Football

https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/man-64-charged-after-allegedly-tying-wife-45-minutes-watch-football-1827080
846 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

261

u/_Panacea_ 10h ago

Classic 80s sitcom behavior.

Laugh track

73

u/Fallen_Feather 9h ago

This reminds me of “Kevin Can F*ck Himself”. Where his behavior is backed up by laugh tracks, but then he leaves the room, the lighting and camera angle change. It becomes realistic, and his wife has to deal with the fucked up consequences of his actions.

He’s only “funny” when presented as a sitcom. Otherwise he’s just an asshole.

22

u/_Panacea_ 9h ago

Fantastic show. Bleak as hell, but fantastic.

5

u/sanosake1 4h ago

worth checking out?

4

u/_Panacea_ 3h ago

100 percent.

2

u/spookmann 2h ago

"Fun Bobby" on Friends...

2

u/GiftToTheUniverse 2h ago

Such a great method. It's so effective!

5

u/your_punk_daddy 9h ago

Oooff. Too on point. Instant up vote

0

u/StaticMarzipan 2h ago

No this is fucked bro. Not your wife tied up in the basement. Not over a kids game.

Not even as a joke. That’s on him to understand how fucked up this is to do to someone.

If she was next to him watching tv being fed snacks, 80s sitcom. Basement is 80s horror.

52

u/Drewski811 10h ago

It's an American story. Wrong kind of football pitch in the thumbnail

2

u/spookmann 2h ago

Hey, that's what came up from the AI, so that's what they ran with!

43

u/TisrocMayHeLive4EVER 9h ago

That is insane. 45 mins? A game is like 3 hours.

17

u/joeO44 8h ago

This is what I’m caught on too.

Did he watch like half of the game, feel bad and cut her loose? Or was he pissed off so much at the end that he just had to tie her up?

7

u/shoopadoop332 6h ago

It was probably going into the fourth quarter in a close game.

1

u/RamblingSimian 6h ago

Why he allegedly restrained his wife remains a separate question. Virginia Statewide Incidents attributed the football connection to people familiar with the incident, rather than to an independently authenticated police finding. Neither a particular game nor a result has been established as a trigger.

2

u/EfficientActivity 8h ago

Probably untied her so she could get beer at half-time

1

u/apexredditor- 3h ago

He just wanted a sandwich

11

u/NeverTrollin 8h ago

My ~80 year old grandma recently told me that her grandfather was an abusive alcoholic so one night her grandmother SEWED HIM UP IN THE SHEETS WITH A NEEDLE AND THREAD AND BEAT HIM WITH THE FRYING PAN.

She said he never put his hands on her again after that. 🤣

4

u/rascool 6h ago

That's an old Willie Nelson story. Maybe happened to your great-great grandpa too.

6

u/danball6969 8h ago

She always makes fun of my cowboys during the game. So

10

u/applesauce_pants 10h ago

The last 45 minutes or the first?

3

u/miarsk 4h ago

Asking the real questions... 

7

u/unk214 9h ago

If it was the cowboys game that’s 2 crimes committed.

10

u/ameliabedelia7 9h ago

Nobody in this gross comments section reading the article ig but he taped her to a chair in the basement so he could go watch upstairs.

11

u/dukestduke 10h ago

Come on now! Can't a man enjoy some football once in a while? I say this as a BDSM enthusiast

6

u/mcpat21 10h ago

As long as it’s mutual- sure

1

u/Socialist_Pansy 10h ago

She should of used the safe word

3

u/roflmaohaxorz 8h ago

Your comment is genuinely funny. Redditors are just soft

0

u/Turakamu 1h ago

I disagree that it is genuinely funny. It's a half-assed punchline that requires other people to do the work.

2

u/dukestduke 1h ago

Dam the comedy police is here. Freeze!

4

u/ParticularLab5828 10h ago

Lol, thanks for this. Genuinely laughed out loud.

2

u/cwood1973 7h ago

"Hey babe, I was thinking we could spice up the bedroom with some light bondage."

2

u/yolo_derp 2h ago

Honestly can we even blame him?

4

u/ChildoftheApocolypse 9h ago

I'm not saying it was right,

3

u/DarkDaysBrightNlghts 10h ago

“WE’RE WATCHING THIS SHIT TOGETHER HONEY.”

3

u/chrisp909 8h ago

Is that frowned upon?

2

u/FlashOfTheBlade77 9h ago

Lol, it says American Football and they have a picture of a soccer field. I bet Rhealene Fernando is what Internation Business Times named their AI.

2

u/igotitnowokay 9h ago

Okay guys hear me out

1

u/Aioi 2h ago

So many questions…

But did he tie her on the first or second half??? And I assume he untied her during overtime???

0

u/Old_Scroat 10h ago

Seems reasonable.

1

u/brendanfilone420 5h ago

I get it 😂

1

u/ClearChocobo 8h ago

Why did I initially imagine that he tied her up in the living room so that she would be forced to watch it with him? Like in A Clockwork Orange.

0

u/DuncanStrohnd 10h ago

Sure, but what was the score?

-1

u/ditchwarrior1992 10h ago

Everybody has limit.

0

u/LosHtown 9h ago

Wrong Football pic.

1

u/kakapoopoopeepeeshir 7h ago

Dude if you’re so annoying that your husband feels the need to tie you up just so he can have some peace and quiet

0

u/dcondor07uk 7h ago

Just the first half

0

u/engineeringsquirrel 6h ago

Relax guy, it's just the 1st game of the season.

-4

u/[deleted] 9h ago

[deleted]

1

u/SkyPilotOne 8h ago

Apparently you don't get much choice of channels in prison. You get to watch what the lifers watch.

-3

u/BobbyJoeMcgee 9h ago

Why else would he tie her up?

-7

u/CarlJustCarl 9h ago

What exactly is the problem here?

•

u/VeterinarianOk6122 3m ago

“Now I’m not saying he should have done that… but I understand”. - Chris Rock