It was one time but that was enough to hurt her forever the only reason she even knew was because I wanted to kill myself right after I did it. I told her what all happened and now she won’t stop drinking and yelling at me. I feel like I’ve ruined this relationship but it’s whatever I just wanna die

I fucking hate being a woman
99% with my problems is because of my gender!

Why do people hate womens so much?
Why do MEN hate us that much?
Why do they want to take everything from us?
Why don’t you want me to live happy just like you? Why would they create religions that harm womens? Why all of the religions harmful to womens?
Why is everything against women?
Why do they treat us this way?
Why why why why why ?!!!

It makes me angry every single day, to the point where I want to take my own life.

Why we must fight for basic rights that men possess from the very moment they are in their mothers' wombs???

Didn’t fucking chose to be a woman I didn’t fucking choose to have a vagina that hurts me every fucking month I didn’t choose anything Even from a biological standpoint our bodies cause us to suffer nothing ever works for us! My body hurt me every fucking day just because I’m a woman and they don’t treat me right just because I’m a woman nobody cares nobody really think I’m in pain they just think I’m overreacting
Why the fuck are they like that? What did we fucking do? Why are people keep getting kids knowing that they might be a girl and suffer just like them and like any other woman in the world!! I’m so fucking mad about everything I hate all men All of them even the babies when I know it’s a male I just can’t stand looking at it or helping it I don’t even care about it ! that’s how much I hate them so fucking much ughhhh

I always knew I was ugly, but I'm tired of embarrassing myself over guys who take advantage of me, think I'm ugly, and not worth anything. Why is my existence determined by how attractive I am?

I wanted to apply for jobs, save up money, and get cosmetic surgery. I daydream about having my dream face. However, I do not think that's worth it. I'm always placed on the back burner, triangulated with a different woman, insulted, and made a joke for being born with a face I never wanted. Why can't people be kind? WHY?

I never wanted to fucking look like this.

I got abused in my last relationship and manipulated, but he's doing better, and he's happy with his beautiful ex-girlfriend. Why is the guy who abused me happy? Why did he get away with it, and why does no one care at all?

I'm never the exception. I'm always the one people are too embarrassed to admit they dated. I'm always a secret.

I'm exhausted. I'm done.

I really don't know what to do right now and I seriously consider to just end it tonight. I just don't see how I can ever cope with what happened.

It started with a fight between my boyfriend and I during a party at a friend's house. He left and I took the bad decision to stay and have a few drinks.

I really liked the attention of some of the older guys and although I knew it's wrong, I did some flirting. This became more and more intense over time but I honestly didn't really thought about it.

It feels like someone else took control over my actions after that and I went further and further with them. I don't know why! I participated in a drinking and stripping game in front of all these people and didn't even stop there.

When I look back, I feel like I am looking at someone else. I let it become sexual and ended up having sex. I have literally no idea why I was into this at this moment!

The real horror started the next day. I woke up with a hangover and pain in my body. It took me a while to realize what had happened and shortly afterwards I received the first text from a friend. The rumors spread around very fast and there were even videos of it.

I don't think I can ever recover from this!

Thank you for reading this

I've met many women who would rather die than being in a relationship. They have never been one before too. How do you do they do it? Please tell me

The loneliness is so overwhelming, I'm craving for a friendship I'm craving for a relationship. I have zero friends my family is mentally ill, I just came home from hospital after taking care of dad.

There were alot of young doctors so beautiful, laughing, smiling. I envy them so much.

I don't have good looks, I keep failing my studies. I would never be in a relationship. I would never get into a university.

Please tell me, I'm desperate, how do I not crave for a relationship please help me

How do I not crave for a wealthy life? Please me

im seriously on edge. im in foster care rn and my current family is fine. its the best one ive had honestly but i keep having nightmares. panic attacks, i dissociate so often tht it feels like im going crazy. i hate it inside my head

I took ~1,700mg of Prozac and just waited. Turns out your body will do everything it can to keep you alive. I was throwing up for hours, and even then, the people I live with didn’t check on me.
I really wish it worked. It feels so embarrassing to fail an attempt at what I thought would be a lethal dose. I just hope there are no side effects- even now my brain feels kinda foggy, and my eyes are having trouble focusing.

I'm done.

Im going to consume sodium nitrite my life has been so bad lately and it will never get better and everyone I know hates me and I hate myself

I posted something here a month ago I think and I wasn't very successful with my suicide, anyways just like the title said we broke up our 1 year together down the drain and I have never felt so fucking pathetic and miserable begging her to stay, She talked to me about not commiting suicide she actually has kept me from commiting 3 times which I was very thankful for her, the last time I tried commiting was the post I posted here before this post, she talked to me about not doing it and she made me realize that it's really not the end I love her so much I am very thankful for her it was worth living for I was sure I could live my life fulfill my dreams if I was with her she was worth living for but now that everything is gone I don't know what to do anymore I feel so lost idk what to do without her she was my idol she was quite literally the only one I have left and she just left me, I think it was all my fault, I got jealous of some guy that she was talking with and I begged her 18 times to block him but she refused and instead said that we should just break up idk if she likes the guy but she'll literally get so mad when I tell her to stop talking with him and then say that I should just leave her, idk I probably got cheated on, but I'd rather not believe that thought, we tried like 7 times but it really just won't work we fight again and again and end up breaking up again and again but since I'm a miserable pathetic fuck I'll beg and beg and beg for her to come back this time no matter how much I did she wouldn't so I just gave it, the thought of her actually cheating on me feels like getting skin tore up layer by layer, I really don't know what to do now that she's gone I was actually thinking of Maybe improving myself enough or more so that she'd want me back or just kill myself so that the heaviness in my chest won't continue to torture me, i really want her back so bad.

I just can’t do tgis

All I can think about is cutting myself, not actually unaliving myself but cutting every inch of my body, and hopefully seeing the scars bleed, the thoughts of self harming are so strong that I no longer have control over myself, like I said, I am not going to do anything more than cutting because I know there is more to life than right now, I just need an outlet of some kind

I don't know what to do anymore, I'm so sick of hitting my head up against the wall and screaming for help.

I think I'm about to become homeless and I have no way of getting out of it that I can see. The landlord, a former friend of my partner and I's, has been trying to remove me from the house since April after I told him off for the demands he was constantly making of me. I got so fucking sick of him treating me like his live in maid and trying to create a divide in my relationship.

He had made a deal with me to take money off of my rent if I cleaned his disgusting, moldy ass room, and just because I told him it would take a few days to get his bedding done as I needed a ride to the laundromat as it would not fit in our small washer, he retaliated against me, throwing my wet laundry all over the floor where it was urinated and shit on by the cats.

Not once did he talk to me in any sort of way after I confronted his behavior. He directed everything at my partner, including his request of my removal from the premises. He also sent both his girlfriend and his mother after me to do his dirty work.

His mother had "served" me papers at my now former workplace to which I had requested she just leave them as I was on my lunch nreak and didn't want to deal with it. Upon her refusal to do so and as a result creating a scene in front of customers, I had called local law enforcement to have her removed. According to them however, I had attempted to haver her arrested for "no reason".

His girlfriend also happens to be a nurse at the office my doctor is located in, and as such, I have been unable to seek medical attention to get back on my anti depressants or anxiety meds. She had filed a claim that I had been harassing her and her family when i don't even have her contact information! This resulted in being served with a cease and desist order. With limited transportation and even more limited funds, this is the only office near me that is easily accessible as it is in walking distance.

We are now finally in court for the situation, but it is not going in our favor. I have refused to pay hi for anything and he is attempting to get $5K out of us, knowing goddamn well we can't afford anywhere else to live and with the knowledge I've been unemployed since mid August, so we are BARELY fucking surviving on a single income.

We're honestly lucky if we can eat from week to week as bills and our cats take priority. With losing my job, all the credit I had worked so hard to obtain has now become stacks of debt, so any kind of emergency loan is out of the question. The county here has refused us help time and time again, telling me to "find another job" and denying me food stamps. They won't even help us find another rental as "you should've just paid your rent", refusing to acknowledge any of lease agreements held, nor the agreements that we were supposed to be renting to own the house.

We have been attempting to relocate out of this county where we can receive help, but the surrounding counties won't help us relocate without one us having work there. With no means for my own transportation to be able to secure another job, this has proven to be excdeedingly difficiult. He has been established at his workplace for 4 years, and has even proven he would have a ride to be able to get to and from his job, but this isn't enough for them.

With court being tomorrow, unless I otherwise get an email from my public defence attorney that my request for adjournment due to lack of internet/phone has been approved, I feel beyond defeateed. I haven't been able to get a lick of proof sent to him of the harassment and overchargiing we have faced for the last 4 years living here and that was oiur literal only hope of being allowed additional time to secure down resources.

In the meantime I'm barely functoning, trying to find where I filed away my documents in a good timeframe, hoping my lawyer or the courthouse seen my email for adjournment request in time.

Freaking out because my boyfriend yet again is putting more stress on me to figure something out so we don't become homeless. Guilt tripping me becuase we made the decision on Monday night to let our sick cat out in the wild as we didn't have the money to put him down, hoping his chances of survival might be better out there or that he might pass on easier being free to do as he wishes or finding a comfortable spot to pass on.

Instead of searching for anything, I'm sitting here fucking aobbing, reliving the past 4 years. Recounting every little fucking thing I've done wrong. Every failure. Every moment of laziness. Every time I overspent n something stupid. Every single frivlolous purchase. Trying to figure out what all I can sell to be able to come up with a minimal of $2k to move into a new palce immediately.

I have next to no support and I'm shouldering all of this by myself as my partneer has more or less checked the fuck out on me.

I don't know what to do about my cats, I don't where else to seek help, I honestly just want to give up.

33 fucking years old and I have nothing to show for my existence aside from 2 young girls, one of whch wants nothing to do with me as she has bought every single one of her father's lies about me never trying to be there for them when he robbed me of them, denying me contact for years.

The void has never felt more inticing.

two years ago i was lonely and tried to kill myself because i had no friends online, and i wasn’t too pleased with my irl friends despite having them. it was bpd related.

my bpd was better, but my ocd became 100x worse and ive missed out on countless, infinite life experiences these first two years of college.

ocd is a bit better now. bpd is bad. but i dont think its my bpd at this point, i think its reality.

two years and ive made no improvements to my life. after the attempt i realized how badly i wanted to live. i dont think anyone realizes how hard ive fought against my ocd since then. but really, i have nothing.

i made some irl friends. they graduated and dont really talk to me. don’t have any online friends still despite trying. my one single irl friend basically has replaced me and i really wanted to die earlier because of it. my bpd is so bad. i have no hobbies because of my ocd. i don’t want to go back to drawing because i have no friends to share it with.

two years and im back in the same spot. two years and ive gained nothing but lost infinitely. two years i’ve struggled and its for nothing. i don’t know if i have anything left in me at this point. i’ve been doing so much work to live and for what? i’ve tried to make friends, tried to keep my friends, but i always fucking get replaced. this is my life. and if this is the life i’ve been fighting for, i dont know why i keep on living. i always tell everyone “trust me, it gets better!” and im realizing ive been lying this entire time.

i think it would be better to kill myself and have that be an experience in people’s lives. it’s the only purpose i have now. i contribute nothing and i get nothing. might as well help some people learn to deal with grief

i really dont want to die. i had a lot i wanted to do. just a shame no one likes me despite me trying so hard. guess not everyone can have a good life, some people are just born to die and i’m one of them.

I’m so broken and hopeless, I don’t know what to do or where to go. I have no one and I feel like such a fucking burden all the time.

I’ve been trying to find myself lately I’ve been struggling with my identity for nearly 10 years and finally I put a name to it, I’m genderfluid but I’m definitely more masculine and I really wish I was born a man. I’ve been mixing up my style wearing more men’s clothing and binders. I feel like I’ve found myself and I was starting to feel ok again until a couple days ago when my husband said he absolutely hated how I’ve been dressing and he looked at me disgusted. It tore me apart. After he saw me in my binder for the first time he’s been making really fucked up comments to me calling me a lesbian and then today he called me a slur indirectly and fuck it killed me. When I asked if he even loved me or wants to be married to me he hesitated he didn’t say a word for far too long before he said “well I’ll always love you no matter what”. And then on top of all this shit I told my only friend about my identity stuff he seemed supportive and I thought he’d respect it but then last night when we were just chatting he called me a ‘straight woman’ then when I corrected him he doubled down on how I’m just a straight woman and therefore know nothing about the queer community, even after I had told him I hated being female and I don’t connect with that side of myself and how I want to get on testosterone…but fuck me I guess, I don’t matter anyways.

I’ve been crying and shaking all morning, my heart feels like it’s gonna explode.

I have no one to reach to, no one to talk to, no one understands me. My husband apparently hates me and my only friend doesn’t feel like my safe place anymore. I feel so empty, like it would be so much better if I were gone. I can’t do this shit anymore.

Estoy en una investigación extensa sobre los métodos que puedo usar para suicidarme y todos, desde ahorcarse hasta sobredosis, parecen ser dolorosos en algún punto. No tengo ganas de vivir, cada día que pasa menos ganas tengo, pero creo que soy muy cobarde porque la sola idea de pensar en lo que voy a vivir antes de morir me asusta. Es como si estuviese obligado a vivir esta vida sin poder hacer nada porque cualquier forma de ponerle fin, no es fácil ni agradable. Me siento como un imbécil justo ahora.

When I was little, I was treated by all my teachers and some of my family as a golden child, like I was destined to be something. I used to be way ahead of everyone in my year in school, and I was even put in a gifted program. Somewhere along the way I just lost it all.

Now I am 20 years old. I have nothing going on for me. No friends, abusive family, no money, no job, got kicked out of school thrice, my absence is very high, I have no special talents, I have no motivations, no goals, overdosed 4 times, battled stimulant addiction, got kicked out from home 4 times and was essentially homeless one time for a 3 month period, police called on me multiple times, been abusive to my now ex girlfriend, weighed 53kg at 189cm last year, tried taking my life, diagnosed bipolar disorder (type 2), body dysmorphic disorder, ADHD (inattentive type), my one and only friend died of a brain hemorrhage when I was 11, been unconsentually touched, my body is failing, been through psychosis twice and possibly lost my sanity permanently.

You know, I’d like to say I’ve hit rock bottom, but truth is, it’s only been getting worse. Feels like I’m running a rat race against my mind and body. I’ve completely lost any and every glimpse of hope in my heart.

Every day, I can feel myself slowly slipping back into psychosis while I also still have to take care of myself and my school work. Often I get this overwhelming feeling of dread and paranoia when I’m sitting in school, and I feel like I’m going to die if I don’t escape.

When I was diagnosed with ADHD, my psychiatrist (a private psychiatrist) made me take an IQ test. This IQ test measured six different points, and calculating the average of those six measurements it came out as 136.

Couple years later I saw the same psychiatrist and I took the test again. Come to find out, I’ve dropped down to 117.

I used to be someone. I used to have a future. I used to have huge potential.

Now I’m nobody. I’m just a miserable, hateful, misanthropic, mentally ill, lazy piece of shit who lays in bed multiple days at a time doing nothing. Hadn’t even realized how far I’d fallen until I was already too deep to climb back.

& nobody wanna sit w the fact that some of us jus sink

I'm going to buy a gun later today to kill myself with and I have to stop putting it off. There's literally nothing that anyone could to in order to "help" me since there's nothing to be helped. I'm already 25 and I refuse to see myself get any older while knowing that I'm never going to be the kind of person that's ignorant enough to chase his dreams and accept taking small steps, since I know I'm always going to give up and run from every responsibility and challenge the second I have the option of sleeping in. I won't ever be able to chase the creative career I know I need to have because I'm too tired and have a shitty work ethic, and the last thing I want is to know that I'm just like everyone else. It's selfish, but I've had to adopt this childish mindset over the past few months.

I could scream from the rooftops about how I "need help" but the furthest I could take it is going inpatient at a hospital, and every kind of "help" is just a guilt ridden way of testing others' patience. I'll just be sent back home after a week and lose some of my freedoms in order to be safe from myself. It's like one of the things they talk about in Bojack Horseman, you look under everything trying to find an answer to your problems, but the point is that there is no answer, we're all just drifting and have to accept that there's nothing that can fix our problems other than our acceptance. I'm sick of waiting, so I just have to force it today once the stores open.

Was the sex good? Did you have fun?

I hate you guys so fucking much.
You suffered your life is shit you don’t have enough money you’re mentally ill and still got a fucking baby you’re a narcissistic piece of shit and you made fun of them their whole life. I can’t stand looking at their faces i wanna punish them so bad.

But was the sex good ?

I don’t know who is reading this, but I’d be interested to hear your take on people who cut themselves and smoke weed just to keep from killing themselves. Personally, I think about suicide every single day—and I’m just so tired of it; every day and every night, I feel the urge to end it all.

I don't remember signing anything or consenting to anything and yet I'm thrown into an eat or be eaten world. If I could at least be provided basic necessities like some fucking 5x5 meter room with a water supply, food and a bed and live in it alone away from people, but I'm not. I'm supposed to work, struggle and compete to survive. What If I don't want to? Worse - what If I can't? I guess I'm just gonna starve on the streets or die of an infection. And I can't even safely check out, because all the best methods of leaving this world were made illegal. I can't just walk into a drugstore and buy like 15 grams of pentobarbital and peacefully drift off into sleep. I have to actually risk maiming my body and possibly ending up in an even worse situation. I'm not given any means to survive and I'm not given any means to leave peacefully.

This isn't funny anymore. It stopped being funny a good while ago. I know that this is nothing new, this is basic shit, you have read some iteration of this post hundreds of times before, but this is the truth. The truth is simple and does not need to be analyzed and dissected into smaller parts anymore. This post IS THE TRUTH.

And then I'm just being told to pull myself by the bootstraps. What a joke. But like I said, it's not funny anymore.

And there's no limit to the suffering you can experience. It can be a simple heartbreak or you can be tortured for days or weeks by a drug cartel in some 3rd world country. It can always get worse. Always.

Anyone who lives with suicidal ideation want to talk to me? Just want to see if there is someone else wanting to be forever asleep every second and minute

i dont really know what to do. im postint here to vent i guess im 16 about to turn 17, my mom passed away when i was 7. my dad started abusing drugs after she passed and he overdosed once before. he went to jail in july for possession of fentanyl. i think i knew he would kill himself this way eventually, i just didnt know when. im not sure how i can keep on going, it feels so lonely not having any parents left.

i cant get the image of his corpse out of my head, i cant believe any of this is happening. people keep telling me i'm so strong but i feel like im going to collapse at any moment now.

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE

Pls kill me