Saying "Not all men" is functionally self implicating. It prioritizes a man's need to be recognized as innocent over women's need to end the systemic problem. It protects the problem at hand. You implicate yourself.
Not all men" is a stupid response to anything, but somehow you outdid that.
You're basically advocating for violating the basic right to be innocent until proven guilty. You tell people that they're implicated just because you feel that they don't agree exactly with what you say... Congratulations! You're trying to violate another person's rights. Which makes you no better than the people that you're trying to say are implicating themselves.
And after having worked around women so much in my life, I have found that so many of the problems that they face are put on them by other women. You won't even be able to overcome a systemic problem when you don't even know what it is
That other women happen to uphold the same systemic problems we are facing is not the main concern--it is A concern, but the most pressing one is that the systemic problems are caused by men, it is a culture that teaches men to do this, that it is rewarding to do this, both in their ingroup and to any watching outgroups.
The systemic problem is hierarchical patriarchy and how it is reproduced in men specifically through a culture of directed violence, repression, and fear, perpetrated by a relatively small subsection of the population, with the rest as its victims, so desperate to defend themselves that they would then turn their shame, fear, and repression outward to direct violence at others to secure their own position.
There are ways to solve the problem in a more permanent fashion but unfortunately they would be rather illiberal even, frankly, if deserved.
The task is finding a permanent solution that is neither violent nor oppressive, for what use is a better world if still founded on violence and oppression, if all you are doing is trading one for another?
Of course, it is a reliable fallback. If all else fails, the die can be cast.
That's weird, I don't remember being taught that rape is OK
Edit: since comments are locked and I cannot reply to u/QaraKha I'll edit it in:
You are taught that women are lesser
false
that their consent means nothing and their lack thereof similar
false
You will be taught the justifications. She wanted it, she asked for it, she dressed for it, she should be flattered, because he's popular, he's famous, he's rich, he's powerful.
false
You will never even realize that it's a fucked up thing to do to another person
false
Many of these are never told to you like exposition in a book, they are shown to you
false
by a culture of fear, knowing that the only thing stopping you from being a victim just like them is that you shut your mouth and avert your eyes and let it happen and never, ever, try to stop it.
false
Your entire premise is based on complete nonsense, the conclusions you draw from it after are invalidated.
Insidious as it is, you are never actively taught in so specific a manner that rape is okay.
You are taught that women are lesser, that their consent means nothing and their lack thereof similar. You are taught that this is the way of the world, that a woman needs a man, that they should be thankful for one. For you. You will be taught the justifications. She wanted it, she asked for it, she dressed for it, she should be flattered, because he's popular, he's famous, he's rich, he's powerful.
You will never even realize that it's a fucked up thing to do to another person because these justifications fill in all the blanks without ever actually telling you.
Many of these are never told to you like exposition in a book, they are shown to you. By a culture of letting men escape justice, by a culture of treating women as liars, by a culture of victims being less than people and perpetrators being the best among you, by a culture of fear, knowing that the only thing stopping you from being a victim just like them is that you shut your mouth and avert your eyes and let it happen and never, ever, try to stop it.
That is why it's all men.
Even if not all men rape, there are the ones that do and the ones that cover it up and the ones that hide it and the ones that know about it and never speak up and the ones so afraid of being ostracized that they will go along with the charade.
And then the ones that feel attacked and who desperately proclaim "not all men!" as if his cowardice was a virtue. As if he did not know this was what he was steeped in when his peers joke about rape as if it were nothing, or talk about the women they'd target. Or treat women like garbage in private. Talk about women like they're sexual objects, trophies to be shown off to other men, never people, but meat. Means to an end.
You are taught this based on who becomes popular and why. Who is openly desired and why. But it's not JUST you. It's everyone.
And it doesn't affect some people. It normally doesn't affect the victims, but it certainly can. The queer people who get smeared to make sure the rest fall in line, shut their mouths, and avert their eyes. The women who are directly harmed from the culture of fear as victims of violence of all kinds. Those lower on the hierarchy who must learn how it works more directly to avoid as much of the consequences of being who they are as possible.
The rest of you though, who never have to consider it, even if you are not actively contributing, you passively do. Your barefaced attempt at innocence fools nobody, not even yourself--else why would you be here at all?
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u/Typical-Priority1976 6h ago
why isn't it acceptable other times?