r/PoursTea • u/Timbucktwo1230 🫖 Mod ☕️ • 4d ago
FeministTea👩🏻🎓👩🏿⚖️👠🥾 She went to a party…
147
4d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
44
30
u/ThrowRA_dumb20sum 4d ago
ESPECIALLY frat bros at these elite universities. University of Chicago, Cornell, these men think they’re untouchable.
80
u/jpopimpin777 4d ago
Their point is to protect these kinds of men and this kind of behavior. Not just protect it, but elevate it to the highest levels of power. You can be an absolute piece of sh*t, pure human garbage. But if your frat bro sees you in the world he'll get you that job, that promotion, that seat on the board....
These are the people shaping our country then we wonder why it's broken.
14
12
5
7
u/sagew0lf 4d ago
I agree but I don’t think anything will change if frats are banned. There are plenty of countries without frats and it’s not like their SA stats are better.
6
u/Jamb9876 4d ago
I think just socializing their names and pictures can help as it will hinder them. I don’t know why the women didn’t get a photo of the men blocking.
6
u/sagew0lf 4d ago
It wouldn't occur to me in that situation to get a photo, but I definitely see what you're saying.
6
u/Jamb9876 4d ago
I think women just have to assume any interaction at a party may be hostile.
Just as if a woman is recording herself and asks for help, again, a hostile situation because she can twist the story.
Unfortunately if law enforcement doesn’t step up women will start to and juries won’t find them guilty as they will say, I told the police. Here we are.3
u/letthetreeburn 3d ago
Genuinely can men be trusted to have social groups? I don’t think they should be allowed to congregate.
-14
u/CommunistRonPaul 4d ago
It's literally just a social club, you can't figure out the benefits of a social club?
6
u/Allthemuffinswow 3d ago
That's the thing you don't seem to understand, though. Frats do not appear to just be "social clubs" to women. They are being viewed as places where men can plot out their next SA's on women.
-6
u/CommunistRonPaul 3d ago
Literally any social club offers the same possibility.
3
u/Allthemuffinswow 3d ago
There is a massive difference between a book club run by and populated with 50 year old women, versus a frat house filled with 18 year old to 24 year old (yes, I'm accounting for outliers here) young men who are running on testosterone and booze, with the occasional edible and candy flip thrown in for good measure.
-5
u/CommunistRonPaul 3d ago edited 3d ago
No there isn't a massive difference in the purpose of the social club, calling it "book club" instead of "fraternity" is literally just a name change. 18-24 year olds join book clubs too.
You can call it book club, or run club, or chess club, or Phi Chi and they still all serve exactly the same purpose.
1
u/Allthemuffinswow 2d ago
Yes, there is. It's not the fifty year old women reading books who are going around drugging and SA'ing young women, now is it?
0
u/CommunistRonPaul 2d ago edited 2d ago
And that makes names not arbitrary?
If this fraternity at Cornell called themselves a book club instead of a fraternity, what exactly would be the difference?
Likewise for the 50 year old women.
115
39
u/LegacyQuotient 4d ago
First, I hope she has access to the help in healing she needs. Second, if platitudes aren't working to move the needle, we need to start thinking outside the box for solutions. Lots of things are said on repeat, but we're still seeing this kinda stuff happening. The idea that the problem are being seen and heard and addressed doesn't appear founded in reality.
I'm a man. I've never been confronted with a situation where the violence escalated to this near me, but I've had to address knowing that hands were placed where they don't belong or finding out that unwelcome kisses were imposed. It comes too easily and too naturally to enough men. There is, by every discernable metric, a cultural component that permits this or too often looks away.
It has to be addressed. As a human, I shouldn't have to think twice about why someone is offering a drunk woman a ride. Yet, between work parties and other social gatherings, I've seen enough of these instances where I find out later there was an agenda. You can speak up, cut these people off, and I have, but the damage is done. At some point, it has to become about addressing the cultural root rather than post-trauma apologetics.
41
u/Badger7689 4d ago
Great job lady who got her out. Prosecute every single person who knew what was happening and did nothing. They are accessories to a horrible crime
72
u/Timbucktwo1230 🫖 Mod ☕️ 4d ago
25
u/bibimboobap 4d ago
No kidding. Imagine the lifelong shame and embarrassment you'd feel if your kid turned out to be a violent rapist. If men won't take a stand for the sake of women and girls, maybe they will out of concern for their own reputation. I don't care, as long as they find their balls and start speaking up.
11
u/pink_faerie_kitten 4d ago
Jokes like Gillis' on SNL last week contribute to rape culture because he sees women as objects to ogle when all they're doing is going about their lives at the gym. And he calls them "whores". He bombed because most normal people knew how awful that was in the moment.
5
u/HeadGuy-RedEyeJedi 4d ago
The only reason I'd push back on this at all is to say, safety first for you and your loved ones because unhinged, violent men are capable of harming men too. That's not at all to say don't intervene when you see some bullshit but yeah... Men can be extremely violent. Be wary. If need be, get some backup. It helps when the other men in your circle are all like-minded. Gotta purge your own circle first if you want reliable backup and not fuckboys who might not want to help out.
-12
u/raynorelyp 4d ago
The type of men who would help her… aren’t going to those parties. Makes me wonder why women do.
97
22
u/pink_faerie_kitten 4d ago edited 4d ago
It's everywhere, pervasive, wherever men are. But we have to hear that women are just as bad as men and "not all men" and whataboutism. Even tho stats show clearly it's men far far far more than women, we still hear "women are just as violent!" Even in left wing and progressive spaces (like in this sub) there just has to be a couple of men equivocating. It's exhausting.
ETA and they like to bring up Clancy who was suffering from PPD, so unless they can prove rapists are all diagnosed with mental health problems, there's no comparison.
3
17
u/guydoestuff 4d ago
Guys that let these things happen are just as bad if not worse than those who partake in these things.
Just because he is your "bro" doesn't make it ok that they are SAing an unconscious woman. Future fathers i wonder what they'd think if thier daughter gets SA'd in the future. Would they cheer it on?
9
u/LegacyQuotient 4d ago
I lost a group of friends over less. Like, Christ, if you think you're owed my allegiance for some imaginary reason even while you cause harm and take advantage of power/privilege, that's on you. I'm out. I'd rather be alone playing solitaire the rest of my life.
4
15
34
4d ago
[deleted]
19
u/No-Fly-6069 4d ago
Predators always think the women they care about will be shielded from this kind of thing.
13
u/VFTM 4d ago
Men do this to their sisters.
9
u/nodogsallowed23 4d ago
And their mothers. And grandmothers. And daughters. And sons. And nieces. And nephews. And wives. And sister in laws. And anyone even slightly less powerful than them in some way.
1
u/Imaginary_Poetry_233 4d ago
And most parents think it could never happen. I'm not blaming them, because it is unthinkable. I mean, do we really have to tell our sons not to rape their sisters? In a society that says porn is fine and healthy, I guess so.
2
u/SaltySelkie217 4d ago
I hear you, & agree. We need to get to a place where the only child of a single father is expected to feel the same disgust. Familial relationships have never saved us nor deterred the predators.
2
u/I_like_the_word_MUFF 4d ago
Somebody shouldn't have to remind you of a family member to deserve basic human decency.
That's the problem. Men have systemically objectified women until now many men no longer see us as human beings. Historically we have been given less pain medication because medical professionals were taught women felt less pain. Women were considered less intelligent, therefore unable to understand higher concepts like guilt and shame.
I was born in a time when women still didn't have the right to own a house or have a credit card.
I have been sexually assaulted 3 times in my life. Twice before the age of 15. Once by a family member who wanted to be able to get a blow job before he got one from the girl he liked so he seemed experienced.... So that's why asking if rapists have families doesn't make sense because society never cared to begin with and rapists had fathers and mothers and sisters too.
0
u/Theseus_geckity 4d ago
My mother and sister think she complained too much and should be quiet. They also don’t think women should be allowed to vote. Not all women are allies.
1
u/Separate-Taste3513 4d ago
Why do they think that?
1
u/Theseus_geckity 4d ago
Heavily conservative area. They always say it’s worth it because it hurts liberal women.
2
u/Separate-Taste3513 4d ago
So they would willingly give up their own rights to hurt other women and guarantee that they would continue to lose rights because conservative men want women under their thumbs forever?
Well, then.
2
u/Theseus_geckity 4d ago
Ya man it’s really weird. This is how maga women think. It’s good if it hurts the people they don’t like even if it hurts them.
2
u/Separate-Taste3513 4d ago
That's just a fundamentally flawed line of thought. And a stunning display of a complete lack of self-preservation.
I genuinely don't understand how people have the mental or physical energy to hate other people, people they don't even know, so much that they would hurt themselves to do it.
Like, I am way too tired just trying to freaking live my own daily life. I don't care what anyone else is doing, as long as they're not breaking laws or harming other people.
That's a whole other level of angsty bullshittery.
1
u/Theseus_geckity 3d ago
Honestly it’s one of those “I got mine and fuck you” kind of things. My mother has been physically abusive to my father my entire life. She pretty much controls him. She knows he will never hurt her and she knows she can convince him to do whatever she says. If women lose rights she gets one more thing to berate my father to do for her. She just also wants to hurt people in situations less fortunate than her.
11
11
u/scrappypup101 4d ago
Pepper spray. Always easy to carry and have on hand.
9
u/OrbitCultureRules 4d ago
That is good advice, but it is hard to use pepper spray when you are half unconscious.
5
u/scrappypup101 4d ago
Ah no, I mean the friends of the girl on the friends of the guy and then on the guy raping their friend.
Edit: and then have another friend record the whole thing so there's no question on who's involved and how
1
21
u/Mor_Padraig 4d ago
THIS is LUDICROUS. We blew past ludicrous, we're now at rampaging lawlessness? And no, that's not an over-statement, that's where those men's heads were. They. Could. Do. That.
And are apparently still so outraged they could not, in fact, get away with it, the friend forced to rescue her is being threatened? Yea? Sorry to ruin your.....good time AND rat you out for having it? Swine.
Isn't there a law about being complicit in a crime? The five gigglers- please please please, let there be a dam law.
8
u/Gussie-Ascendent Allegedly approved user 4d ago
I genuinely can't imagine being so vile as to even just be at such an event and not call the cops or hit someone 🤮
9
u/EitherChannel4874 4d ago
When your president is a rapist and still got elected it sends out a very clear but dangerous message.
5
u/No-Effective388 Drama Llama 🎭 3d ago
And then there's Shane Gillis talking about women and their outfits. It's the same mindset as the rapists.
4
u/Ichirosfan 4d ago
Bravo to these young women for refusing to walk away and instead going to battle for their friend! It will take more and more Women becoming the Warriors that society has told you was The Men.
3
6
u/fauxmonkey 4d ago
Throw the book at anyone who participates in SA in ANY way. If its proven you go away and become someone's bitch in prison. Will help them get some perspective.
7
u/Spankpocalypse_Now 4d ago
The Chicago police are animals. I’d be shocked if they lifted a finger to go after any of these guys.
7
5
3
u/Unsainted_smoke 4d ago
These men that cheer this shit on, grow up to have extreme fetishes about dominance and control over women.
3
2
2
2
u/Odd-Art7901 4d ago
Sorry TW-I read yet another of these horror stories but abt a year ago. I wish I could remember the location. A group of very young men roofied a girl at a bar and were taking turns raping her in the back seat of their car on the freeway. The young man in passenger seat was filming it and cackling and commenting. They then pushed her out of the car and she was hit and killed. The article said that the filmer was also up on charges. Anyone who enables rape should be locked up as well.
I am so angry and horrified. Stop giving children little porn on tap devices (smart phones), stop US rape culture, stop our rapist president!
2
u/MainRoutine2068 4d ago
Why no one from Cornell doxx their names? Are they protected by someone?
0
u/Definatly-not-ur-Mon 3d ago
Doxxing with the intent to cause distress or intent to harm is illegal state and federally
2
1
1
1
1
1
u/Ornery_Area_1600 3d ago
I’m reminded so much of when Brett Kavanaugh was basically pushed through the process of sitting on the Supreme Court. All those accusations were just brushed aside, guaranteed he was one of those frat guys
-1
u/Not_Sure__Camacho 4d ago
I'd be fine with Jane Doe's father, uncles, brothers, all male friends and maybe one "ringer" like the biggest Bubba from the local jail be put in a room with this predator for a few hours. I don't know if it would constitute "cruel and unusual punishment" as it is EXACTLY the situation that he put the poor victim in.
The argument against "an eye for an eye" is that we'd eventually have a completely blind society. At this point, I can't imagine our society being any worse if we were all just blind. Hell, part of me thinks it would improve our society.
I hope the victim gets justice against every single one of these pieces of trash.
17
u/nodogsallowed23 4d ago
Fuck that. Men aren’t protectors. Put this guy in a room with her mom, sisters, friends, or any group of women and he’ll actually pay.
Women knocked down that door. Women got her out. I don’t trust men to do a damn thing but make things worse.
10
u/Ichirosfan 4d ago
THIS! men have had millions of chances to be the Punishers. They can’t even bring themselves to stop this behavior when it’s happening right in front of them. Bravo to these Women!
3
u/Not_Sure__Camacho 4d ago
If the group of men are related to the victim in a way that would anger them enough to act on him, I suspect that they would do more damage than the group of women. I'm looking at this from a lens of finding people that the POS would be intimidated by, that he'd fear for his life (give him the same sense of helplessness that he inflicted upon his victim). I'm not looking at it from a sexist point of view, like yours. I'm looking at it from a perspective of making this POS feel helpless, alone, completely overpowered, and completely violated. While I figure the group of women you mentioned would do some damage, I want this POS to feel what his victim felt. This is about forcing empathy onto this POS.
7
u/nodogsallowed23 4d ago
I’m not being sexist. I’m being a realist. Men don’t protect women even if they supposedly love them. Men are more likely to kill women they care about. So no, I don’t think men will do more damage to this guy.
-3
u/jakceki 4d ago
WTF? You call this realism? You mean fathers, brothers, and sons would not protect their wives, daughters, sisters? I'd go to battle for my family and I am sure most men would. But you're not sexist.
8
u/Ichirosfan 4d ago
Do you suppose all of those men outside the door have sisters? Mothers? Where is their protective nature? Who were they in battle for? How can you defend men as protectors when this many of us have allowed this behavior to propagate amongst our younger brothers? Where did they learn this predatory violence if not from other men?
-2
u/jakceki 4d ago
I don't disagree that there are lot's of horrible men out there, But saying all men are predators or that they wouldn't stand up for their family is an extremely wild take.
8
u/Careless_Film_5747 4d ago
That’s if they’re not too busy blaming their own family members for getting too drunk/ finding any reason to blame them for being raped.
3
4
u/Ichirosfan 4d ago
if you reread my comment I said “ all of those men outside the door” meaning outside the door in this reported rape. Please try to absorb my actual message about how we need to do better as men teaching younger boys and men.
0
u/jakceki 4d ago
You responded to my comment to the other person's comment where they said "Men don't protect women", Then you said "How can you defend men as protectors" Both those comments are generalizing, they are not just meant for the despicable assholes at the door. If I misunderstood your intent, then forget my comment. I also completely agree that we all need to do better to teach these boys to be better men.
4
u/Ichirosfan 3d ago
After 6 decades on this earth I am basically saying this is not ever going to get better if men don’t start saying we all need to do something now to change this heinous reality women have been living. It just hasn’t gotten better for my sisters, my daughters, my granddaughters and I am ashamed knowing full well we can and should be fighting( figuratively)to change this. it cannot be solved by our frustrated declarations that we would physically fight these guys if we were there, when in fact there usually ARE men there, and here we are……….lots of good men who just haven’t stepped up to change the toxic parts of manhood.
→ More replies5
u/nodogsallowed23 4d ago
Nah, I call bullshit. Men love to say they’d go to battle for their women. They fantasize about being some hero. This big strong protector trope that men love to perpetuate never comes to fruition. Women protect women.
-4
u/Not_Sure__Camacho 3d ago
Good luck in life, although I suspect you won't get out of your own misery.
-2
u/PurpleSmoke91 4d ago
Honestly if I was at that party I might have shot those dudes don't act like all men would do this.
-1
-4
u/Future-Magician6607 4d ago
I never ever hope that will happen to one of my daughters, i will hunt every one of these pigs down.
9
u/VFTM 4d ago
The way you say nothing about her healing, but immediately jump into - it’s all about me and my fantasy for violence.
0
u/Future-Magician6607 3d ago
Of course i would want to comfort her as much as possible, why assume i won't ? And you jump immediately into "oh he has a fantasy for violence" No i want to protect my girls and make sure these pigs won't do it to anyone else. Feels like the sentiment goes straight into "bad man, man violence".
0
-5
u/Sad_Wishbone_1524 4d ago
How is it a fantasy for violence if he hopes it never happens? Any father would want their daughter to heal, but that’s a situation where you don’t even know what to do to make it better. And sometimes there is nothing that can make it better, so you do whatever you can.
Wanting to hurt someone that brutally attacked someone you love is a normal rational response. Especially from a father who is supposed to be a child’s protector.
1
u/Future-Magician6607 3d ago
The way people down vote this post says more about those people as about someone that wants retribution and make sure it won't happen ever again.
-2
•
u/Timbucktwo1230 🫖 Mod ☕️ 4d ago