r/PoursTea • u/Veshaad Timendi Causa Est Nescire • 12d ago
FeministTea👩🏻🎓👩🏿⚖️👠🥾 Jon Stewart's view is spot on, as always.
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u/thepizzafish 11d ago
Fellow men. Please remember that holding men accountable doesn't just mean in courts. It means that WE hold OUR friends and family accountable because WE are in a better position to check their behavior than the law.
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u/Valintus 11d ago
This, call people out, everyone.
We collectively set the standard for society and the standard you walk past is the one you accept.
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u/Itchy-Technician-433 11d ago
It means we don't send a text to all our friends offering "free pussy" when we see someone in vulnerable position.
I think we need to start there since there are so many apologists for this behavior
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u/Funkopedia 11d ago edited 11d ago
I've never been any of the people in any side of this situation (perpetrator, texter, bystander, witness, victim), nor known any. Do y'all really just have a bunch of rapey friends?
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u/Miserable_til_theend 11d ago
You just don't know that you have friends willing to (or maybe already have) rape someone. It's not usually a public event. That's part of why it's so easy to escape consequences as the rapist. Shoot, I've met multiple men who think they're "one of the good ones" but pressure the first drunk woman they see.
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u/grantgarden 11d ago
My rapist is well loved in his community
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u/Cute-Tie6398 11d ago
A whole lot of women’s abuser and/or rapist is the president of the United States
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u/Designer-Cicada3509 11d ago
We can probably consider those kinds of people to have dogwhistles to identify themselves apart from normal people
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u/The_Magic_Potato 11d ago
Do your friends often send you texts about raping someone? Because no friend of mine ever has.
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u/Infern0-DiAddict 11d ago
Yep, sadly we have all known that one dude that seems ok with other dudes doing this stuff. Like that one guy that sees someone obviously badgering a woman that is not interested and thinking it's a good thing.
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u/JellyfishKnown8298 11d ago
I've never had any such men in my life, often dicks for other reason but that one never came out until recently with my grandfather before I was born, pretty sure he did prison for it and he's dead, can't do more than that.
How often do you all just know people that are rap*sts ?
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u/LaFleurBlanceur 11d ago
My friend circles do. Absolutely reject the p hound dirt bag types. You just don't hear about it in the culture war news cycle. Its been a well established fact for decades to not go drinking w loose women, either. Its all rigamarole
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u/Natalwolff 11d ago
Agreed. I can kind of understand why women say this line, but I'm always so confused when men say it. This case is a pretty clear illustration of p hound dirt bags that were exclusively hanging out with p hound dirt bags.
I don't have "friends and family" who I have any inkling are rapists. It's not like my best bud is a rapist and I've been wondering whether to talk to him about it.
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u/betterworldbuilder 11d ago
I definitely glanced WE as WWE and went to upvote even harder ready to chokeslam some of the males for this stuff.
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u/AmputeeHandModel 12d ago
Basically the whole basis behind women being forced to cover themselves in Islamic countries. "Stop making me assault you!"
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u/Zerogates 11d ago
If only there was some system of charging men with a crime and then punishing them for whatever they were accused of.
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u/Excellent-Site-5700 11d ago
theres a current case going around bringing all the rapist sympathizers out of the woodwork
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u/cattcameo 11d ago
men almost never see consequences for rape because we have a system that protects rapists
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u/CommieShareFest 11d ago
the problem here is that women do not feel safe enough to report these crimes close enough in time to when they happen, the longer after the rape takes place the less likely there is to be physical evidence of the crime
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u/Miserable_til_theend 11d ago
I reported my incident right away. There were witnesses, DNA evidence, and proof of injuries. He was facing 8 years but got 2 years with a plea deal. That was almost 10 years ago and I'm STILL getting phone calls about the complete stranger who raped me, as recently as this week. The "justice system" won't let me just move on.
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u/Brenner2089 11d ago
Thank you for a reasonable point. I don’t know why people can’t discuss practical solutions instead of just playing the blame game. The goal is for there to be less victims.
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u/cattcameo 11d ago
a VERY important part of that goal is to hold rapists accountable, is it not? it's not a "blame game" to say we have a demonstrably unjust system, is it?
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u/Brenner2089 11d ago
Yes. It’s hard but we should absolutely prosecute sa cases. They often are hard to prove. Men have to know if they commit these crimes they are going to jail. Most of the other talk is unhelpful.
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u/CottonTipsMcChancla 11d ago
The even bigger problem is that women who report the sex crimes are often treated like shit, even revictimised by the cops they report to. They are even pressured to just ‘move on’ or recant.
Watch the “Victim/Suspect” documentary from 2023, or watch the miniseries “Unbelievable” for a glimpse into how it has gone down for many girls and women.
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u/lenusniq 11d ago
yeah, if only there was a way for a woman being able to make accusations without everybody blaming her, calling her a slut, claiming she does it for money... yeah....
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u/myotherrideisvhagar 11d ago
You would think that you would have to prove the crime before punishing them.
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u/Dry-Palpitation-4878 12d ago
Next time we write a constitution let's put in a mechanism for making guys like him be temporary emergency leaders. Like the Roman Lucius Quinctius Cincinnatus.
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u/Due-World4235 12d ago
John Stewart should be running for president.
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u/Upvote_me_arsehole 11d ago
He’s too smart unfortunately.
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u/Due-World4235 11d ago
Yeah, who wants a country lead by a highly intelligent decent human being? 😂🙃
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u/theamazonswordsman 11d ago
Cause the first two guys from the TV we elected to be president went so well....
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u/Xsiah 11d ago
Jon Stewart is 63. Americans going to keep making the same mistake over and over?
He's a smart guy, but come on, he's about to retire - this isn't the age to learn a whole new career.
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u/MattyJerge 11d ago
Okay but an obese toddler sociopath with no political experience has been president twice, so like... someone with a head on their shoulders could do worlds better.
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u/RoadKiehl2 11d ago
More importantly - Jon Stewart is a professional comedian. He is not a lawyer, he does not know how to run a government or lead a country. I love the guy, and I'm glad he's being vocal and saying good things, don't get me wrong. But he wouldn't be a good president.
Americans need to stop voting for recognizable names who say things they agree with, and instead vote for qualified people. I for one am sick to death of having a reality TV star as my president.
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u/Acceptable-Peace-69 11d ago
If you’re fourth in line to hit a drunk woman at a frat party… you’re in the wrong and probably should rethink your life.
If you’re defending someone you don’t know that was fourth in line at a frat party by attacking the victim on Reddit you’re pathetic.
Imo.
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u/throw7661 11d ago
I genuinely don't understand this...
Sexuality encompasses a lot of activities. I understand that not everyone finds them all appealing, but it's stupid to demonize sexual activities because you aren't into them.
Group sex is fine. Gangbangs are fine. Being the Nth dude is fine....as long as everyone is willingly participating.
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u/MALCode_NO_DEFECT 11d ago
"Actually, men are held more accountable"
BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sure.
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u/MurphysLawTeam 11d ago
Men are and in most situations where it’s a two person decision men will get the blame. Millions of these sorts of posters and talks when I was at school.
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u/Similar_Ad4120 12d ago
Any man that commits sexual assault should do prison time. Lots of prison time. And any woman who lies about it, should do just as much time. It’s simple.
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u/Confron7a7ion7 11d ago
The issue with this is it creates a problem where a victim could be imprisoned if their attacker is found innocent. This would discourage reporting even more.
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u/Warchief_Ripnugget 11d ago
Only if its proven she lied. Dont forget, beyond a reasonable doubt would apply here too.
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u/Papio_73 11d ago edited 11d ago
Also, rape is much harder to prove than people realize; especially if it was martial rape.
In fact, I suspect that many rapes aren’t even reported.
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u/SB1234567890123 11d ago
You don’t have to suspect it, it is true. Often not reported because women (it happens to men, too) know that they will be dragged, and if they can’t prove it happened, the rapist will likely walk free.
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u/bigorangemachine 12d ago
I've been on both sides of having to warn a friend of a potential false accusation and stopping a friend from assaulting a girl that was passed out.
It's hardly a simple boolean situation. In one situation I was really drunk. Another I was under extreme peer pressure. In both situations I was one of many who was like "no you are wrong".
Both situations I wouldn't wish on anyone
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u/maodiran 11d ago
I agree with the premise that women who make false accusations are trash human beings. But falsity in the case of rape is pretty difficult to declare without a shadow of a doubt. You want women to feel comfortable coming forth with allegations, and the possibility of them being accused of a false allegation that results in punitive action may lead to more rapes going unaccounted for.
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u/Warchief_Ripnugget 11d ago
Filing a false police report is already a crime, we just need to start enforcing it.
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u/Beerzerker420 11d ago
There's a difference between not enough evidence to convict and blatantly filing a false report based entirely on lies.
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u/Techman659 11d ago
Yet one woman got 10 men convicted of rape until the police got their heads out their asses and realised she lied about everyone, rape is very real but if your raped 10 times by different men in completely different circumstances and it’s a not gang related then either your doing something to put yourself in vulnerable positions or your telling lies, and the courts for 10 guys all assumed guilt rather than thinking this woman is apparently getting raped alot why is that and what are the men saying happened?
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u/HollowCap456 11d ago
You want women to be more comfortable reporting crime, I agree. But, this may lead to a larger percentage of men getting to jail falsely. Is the ethos here letting go of more guilty people for safeguarding the innocent ones, or is it making victims more comfortable with coming forward at the cost of throwing more people in for a heinous crime?
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u/HeparinBridge 11d ago
I want people to feel comfortable coming forth with true allegations. I want people to feel very uncomfortable coming forth with false allegations.
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u/Artix96 11d ago
Hot take but how about we hold both sexes accountable? Men will take advantage sure but women also put themselves willingly in such situations. You go skimpy dressed to some club and get drunk? Well you're kinda making yourself the easier target. If you jump into ocean are you surprised you get wet?
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u/DarthDragon117 11d ago
While women should be smarter about things, they still aren’t to blame if they get raped, just like people shouldn’t get mugged but if they knowingly go down bad alleys it’s logical, still not their fault though.
That being said, false accusers should be punished as well as rapists.
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u/No_Sale7548 11d ago
Extra hot take—we only say women aren’t to blame bc the crime is so heinous. Maybe most of the time it’s uncalled for, but you’ve got to take responsibility and admit that your actions contributed to the crime. if a male friend got beat up in an alley you know he’s a victim. If he told you he walked alone to a shady place to buy drugs and got mugged, you’d probably say he bore some responsibility too, no?
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u/DarthDragon117 11d ago
Yes and no. I’d say he was reckless and stupid, but ultimately the mugger is still the one responsible for the crime. Now if the friend went up to a random guy and harassed him until the guy retaliated and beat him up, then I’d be obligated to blame him.
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u/Calamityv0 11d ago
As someone who has been blackout drunk a lot can’t say I’ve ever sexually assaulted anyone. That behavior is in your system to begin with don’t blame it on anything but yourself.
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u/redditzphkngarbage 11d ago
Maybe there should be better ways for people to connect that do not involve both parties becoming incapacitated?
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u/Dandy_Guy7 11d ago
Yes, men who do bad things should be locked up and held accountable for their actions
Women should also be safe, it is unfortunate that there will always be bad men in the world so we have to do both.
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u/TheDoctorYan 11d ago
"Why can't we hold men accountable for their behaviours" - Jon Stewart. Is this a serious quote? Because that is the standard, Jon. Men are regularly held accountable for their wrong doings. All the time. The issue now is that men are tired of being held accountable for everyone else's mistakes too even if it's not their fault. How many men have gone to jail because of the lies of women? How many women have gone to jail because of the lies of men?
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u/Fingererz 11d ago
There’s also the added danger now of a woman having a drink too many, saying yes, but can claim she was too drunk to give consent. The guy having the same amount of drinks, should still have the ability to understand that yes didn’t mean yes. Drinks an excuse for one but not for the other.
I used to enjoy going out and meeting women on nights out. Now, not a chance. If she’s drunk, no way. She might regret it the next day, or she might be out cheating, get caught by her man when she gets home and blame you of sa.4
u/INeedSomeTacoC 11d ago
Friend of mine decided a girl that he had been flirting and making out with all night was too drunk.
So he said no and went to leave her. She got pissed and he ended up with a permanent scar on his face and in the clink over night for a fake assault charge when a neighbor called over her attacking him.
Acting like drunk women are too drunk to reason but are also perfectly rational actors is a bit silly, imho.
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u/ThePurpleandBanana 11d ago
Men absolutely get told not to drink and put themselves in bad situations. Literally one of the first things my dad told me when growing up was to never get drunk around people I couldn’t trust.
Men get told all the time not to do things that put us at risk.
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u/kittyblushes 11d ago
I may be wrong, but I think his point here was that men typically aren't told "If getting drunk makes you more likely to rape/hurt women, you shouldn't drink." Like, if men lose control when they drink, they shouldn't drink. It's more a comment on men's drinking being dangerous for the people around them than for the men themselves, I think, and how we (general, cultural "we") don't expect men to make individual sacrifices to prevent sexual violence in the same way we expect women to. We expect women to change their behavior to avoid being raped, but we should expect men to change their behavior, because ultimately, sexual violence only happens because someone decides to commit it. That's the "holding men accountable" bit.
This reading would flatten the issue into "men are always the abusers, and women are always the victims," and the corrolary: "abusers are always men, and victims are always women," and both sets of statements are heteronormative and not totally accurate. But even so, it gets at a very important and real gendered double standard.
But I also am just looking at this image without context. I don't watch his show. Maybe he said more, and your interpretation is right.
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u/INeedSomeTacoC 11d ago
I think his point here was that men typically aren't told "If getting drunk makes you more likely to rape/hurt women, you shouldn't drink." Like, if men lose control when they drink, they shouldn't drink
We do literally get told this though?! If you can't control yourself while drinking then don't drink, and always make sure you have people you can trust with you while drinking is pretty common advice.
Same with fighting; if you are an angry drunk that you shouldn't drink or you might ruin your life.
I tell my sons basically the exact same thing I tell my daughters about drinking and partying.
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u/Business-Loquat143 11d ago
It's always "women can't consent while drunk"
And never
"Men can't consent while drunk"
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u/QuickDrawSix 11d ago
Men get held 63% more accountable than women do on average during sentencing.
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u/ChocCooki3 11d ago
Who the hell doesn't tell men not to drink after a DUI?
Who the hell doesn't tell men not to SA women?
No one ever not held men accountable for SA a woman.. that why these men get charged.
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u/throwawaybunny99 11d ago
No one disagrees with this. What the people who refuse to tell women anything refuse to understand is that the men that are doing these things are beyond the reach of reason. They’re not going to be hearing these things, and when they do they’re not able to understand that what they’re doing is wrong. It’s nice to think that by telling our guy friends these things, rapes and SA is going to stop, but the bitter truth is, if you care for a woman you’re going to at least hope she doesn’t put herself in these positions.
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u/10biggaymen 11d ago
they know what they are doing is wrong, they just dont care because they get off on abusing people. like you said, beyond reason. if you teach reason to people earlier on, before they turn out fucked up, then youd save people.
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u/Coop7202 11d ago
Absolutely cooked with this one. You can’t live your life based on how you think the world “should” be. Low character people will see someone like that as an opportunity, and wether or not these guys are guilty of what is alleged it is clear that all involved hold themselves to incredibly low standards
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u/throwawaybunny99 11d ago
Yeah that’s like saying you should be afraid to drive through dangerous neighbourhoods. Obviously it’s not your fault if smth should happen to you there but you should also have avoided it.
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u/Equal_Refuse_4591 11d ago
the men that are doing these things are beyond the reach of reason.
FUCKING THANK YOU!
Wagging your finger at rapists and saying 'don't rape!' has never worked because if they cared about rules they wouldn't be rapists
The only deterrent to that kind is deep personal fear of the consquences of their actions
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u/NoAlternative8174 11d ago edited 11d ago
Sounds nice but there is a fundamental mistake there. Sure there are some, let’s say people (I would use a different name) victim blaming. Qe know who those are. And for that small discusion it works but the issue here is different.
I tell my teenage son to look carefully around when pulling out his cellphone at night in some areas to avoid getting mugged. With Jon’s line of reasoning I should be telling the robbers to look more carefully to avoid robbing my son. That’s ridiculous. They won’t, they are robbers. 99%of men drink and don’t rape. The ones that do it is because they are rapists. Are we going to ask them not to drink and expect anything out of it? Or is it better to ask their potential victims to be careful?
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u/InternationalTwo5255 11d ago
There’s a very simple two-part rule men (especially college aged men) really need to get in the habit of following. It’s not fool proof, but it’s practical:
Rule 1. Do not ever have sexual contact with a visibly intoxicated woman. Even if she seems interested.
Rule 2. Do not drink heavily around women.
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u/asmodeus1112 11d ago
So women can drink as much as they want but men cannot?
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u/Chieffelix472 11d ago
Notice how alcohol consumption in younger generations is way down? This is one of a few reasons why. Men don’t want the risk of morning after regret and rape charges.
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u/Dry_Bird1790 11d ago
Rule 2. Do not drink heavily around women.
Ban women from bars and nightclubs?
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u/Hickory_Shampoo 11d ago
So take a breathalyzer with you everywhere you go. Very practical.
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u/HealthyResolution399 11d ago
The issue here is that alcohol is usually involved with situations where you meet girls
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u/Plum-Cheap 11d ago
Rule 2. Do not drink heavily around women.
So, before getting drunk, I always have to make sure there are no women around? Is that how this works?
I guess parties, bars, and everything else should be banned, then. Because, according to these puritanical rules, men and women can't drink alcohol together.
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u/SimpkeMan 11d ago
Drink and Women in the same statement. Hegseth just woke up from a nap and said he needs a woman to drink with
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u/sarkouille 11d ago
Why stop drinking, though?
I have managed to be so drunk that I almost pissed myself, sometimes ending up sleeping next to women, and I somehow did not rape them.
Surely, there is more to it.
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u/Glad_Click9998 11d ago
.... are we not actually doing that? Everyone was drunk... but guess who is the rapist? is that not a perfect example of the exact opposite of what he is saying society does?
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u/sbrown063087 11d ago
Everything comes back to the both sides argument, doesn’t it? We can’t really ever hold the right people accountable because both sides serve to protect the Epstein class. 🤷🏼♂️ The end.
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u/deepfuckingbagholder 11d ago
No one should be drinking. The only purpose of alcohol is rape. It should be banned.
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u/Apart-Parsley6215 11d ago
No need to limit it to sexual assault. Abusers make the choice to abuse, completely independent of the behavior of the victim.
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u/booyahbroski 11d ago
Let’s ban alcohol under 35yrs old, prohibit tobacco use completely (no smoking), & 100% legalize marijuana gummies. Yes, ban smoking completely. Problem solved.
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u/FlaccidFart 11d ago
Instead of telling people to install home security systems, we should tell criminals not to break into people's homes.
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u/HeManDan 11d ago
To be fair I tell anyone blacking out they shouldn't be drinking. Also it's good advice for everyone to avoid dangerous and bad situations and habits. People definitely are letting the "bad guys" off the hook, but it's inportant advice and life lessons to avoid danger.
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u/ChemistryFan29 11d ago
BS this is crazy. I do not agree with this. IF two people are drunk, and I mean stupid drunk, and decide to have sex, then those two people are at fault. The blame should not be on the man.
Both are unable to consent, both are dumb and stupid and out of their minds. The women also should be shamed too.
Now I am not saying if a man is intentionally getting a girl drunk and he is sober that is absolutely different. Then of course the man should be punished if he is trying to have sex with her then., or if they are caught trying to spike a drink then absolutely, they need to be punished.
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u/HeliotropeHunter 11d ago
Whose he again? Oh right, that guy who raises his eyebrows and screams and thinks that makes him funny.
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u/OldMallhentai69 11d ago
was this not the baseline already, shouldn’t both sides be held accountable to begin with, how has this ever been an argument
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u/Time_Network_9857 11d ago
definition of simpism. Mainstream media really isn't hiding anything anymore.
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u/KODeKarnage 11d ago
Except that rapists being held accountable for their actions doesn't unrape the victim.
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u/dvrichthofen 11d ago
I, also, think we should do the obvious thing that the people are already doing. I think the bad thing is bad and we shouldn't do it. Good thing is good. I don't care what anyone says, I'm not going to be silent in this matter. Don't do the bad thing.
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u/No_Plum_3737 11d ago
He's just empirically wrong. Most everybody has mainly blamed men for sexual assault pretty much forever. Look at criminal punishment rates for sexual assault by gender and get back to me - conviction rates per capita, sentence length, whatever.
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u/Hemingways_Shotgun88 11d ago
Last I checked, sexual assault is illegal and we view people who do it as the worst kind of criminals.
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u/Substantial-Fan-5985 11d ago
I'd have more sympathy for this take if it wasn't for the bullshit law where if both parties are drunk that the man can still be charged with rape.
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u/delicate39396969 11d ago
Men, we need to stop spreading our legs and wallets. Embrace celibacy until marriage. Abortions will drop by magnitudes. You'll save lots of money. You'll have honor through purity on your wedding day. Think of the unborn children you'll save. When your future wife asks for your body count, you can respond with integrity and respect.
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u/No-Effective388 Drama Llama 🎭 11d ago
A good friend of mine, who I thought was actually progressive and liberal, started to behave very weird as of lately. He claimed that women wearing a bit revealing outfits are responsible if the guy cant control himself and wants to assault her. I was just shocked, because I said that if the guy cant control himself then he is the one responsible and not the woman.
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u/freixe 11d ago
Because most of them are like that. Victim blaming is the go to. Abuser mentality "look what you made me do." The culture won't change. You'll just have varying degrees of lifestyle options that are unavailable to women as time goes on and our remaining freedoms policed. Tale as old as time.
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u/EyeYamNegan 11d ago
Jon Stewart is a pandering clown. It is not either or and it doesn’t mean sexual assault is a woman’s fault. It is about mitigating risk though making decisions that make you less of a target.
This is like when traveling abroad regardless of gender how you avoid high risk areas, be mindful of pickpockets and use the buddy system.
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u/Ptalking_Ptarmigan 11d ago
Everyone I see on social media blames the attacker. Who are these people that are apparently blaming he victim?
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u/Slight-Monk-9702 11d ago
So is this being posted now because of the whole Cornell 7 false rape claims news?
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u/Responsible-Lime-401 11d ago
We do "hold men accountable". There's this place called prison. Maybe you've heard of it!
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u/Gloomy_Variation4892 11d ago
So we’re just gonna pretend men don’t get convicted of SA or face any consequences for their actions? What a retard lol
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u/Sid-Phillips-495 11d ago
We all know alcohol is a problem, but it is an industry with a big lobby so alcohol will not be blamed - by either side. As a college student I knew to steer clear of frat parties. A friend of mine was pledging so I went for a couple drinks, but if you're not part of the frat, you're at risk of waking up with a flagpole up your butt.
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u/Storyteller_Valar 11d ago
No one disagrees with holding perpetrators accountable, however, there will always be some predators lurking. The recommendations for women are focused on lowering the chances of them falling prey to one of those degenerates.
Abusers usually know that what they are doing is bad and harmful, they are just evil and don't care about the harm they cause (or worse, they get off to the idea of tormenting someone).
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u/Grouchy_Truck5925 11d ago
so men should not drink for womens safety but a woman can do what she wants and drink as much as she wants cause no man will tell a woman what she can or cant do and she should be safe to do what she wants wherever she wants cause beinh drunk is never an excuse to blame the victim
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u/BitesTheDust55 11d ago
What the fuck is he talking about? We not only hold men accountable for their behaviors, but we hold them accountable for behaviors we can't even prove! If a woman says something, it is fact until proven otherwise. It's like we're playing Phoenix Wright and you prove the guy couldn't have done it, but until you unmask the actual killer and get them to admit it in the courtroom your boy is still guilty.
We need to start holding women accountable for their actions and acknowledging that an accusation is not true until proven a lie. This thing where a woman has consensual sex and then for any number of reasons later on decides to report it as rape has to stop. And we have to stop pretending this doesn't happen. It happens, and it's common. Because people change their minds, and they get scared of reputational damage or what their parents might think or in the case of Train Ho, they get spiteful when you won't hook up with them again.
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u/Spirited_Peak_7810 11d ago
🤦. No one doesn't hold men accountable for SA. I think you'll find that if men see it that guy is getting smacked and then hopefully reported to the police. But there is nothing wrong with women taking precautions to reduce their likelihood of being a victim and let's stop pretending that's not the case.
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u/RichSpot8865 11d ago
There are several prominent civil society organizations and coalitions actively pushing for policy limits on alcohol specifically to combat gender-based violence.
Southern African Alcohol Policy Alliance (SAAPA)
DG Murray Trust (DGMT) & the "Rethink Your Drink" Campaign
Sonke Gender Justice
This is just the first three I found in South Africa. There are definitely people calling for legal reforms to address men drinking as a way to combat GBV.
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u/I_Will_Offened_You 11d ago
Yeah like women held Lyndsey Clancy responsible. A girl had group sex, then asks for a threesome next time. Regret sucks but it's not rape.
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u/Shot-Back9448 11d ago
I mean... All I see anymore is the opposite. It's all about men. It seems that trial by media et all, tahtbits nearly impossible for the women to be at fault even if they assault a man.
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u/Independent-Round789 11d ago
I firmly believe that consent should be a mandatory topic covered in sex-ed as it would significantly reduce the amount of SA that would occur. Hard to see that being widespread anytime soon considering how much pearl clutching occurs around sex-ed.
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u/somerandomguy1984 11d ago
That’s spot on?
Based on all evidence and facts we have of this Cornell case, everyone* did the same thing. They all were drunk, did drugs, and consented throughout the night.
Men are alleged rapists and the woman an alleged victim. How are men not being held accountable here? Where is her agency and accountability? By her own words, which the affirmed were true, she is not a victim.
* everyone but one guy seems to have consented and he may be the true victim. She allegedly sodomized him entirely against his will. Two of the dudes also passed out and were incapacitated to the point the alleged victim took care of them - after and before having sex with them.
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u/anykah_badu 11d ago
Yep, none of them should get so fucked up. Or at least always designate a person that stays sober enough to make the right calls
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u/Flaky_Cranberry_9414 11d ago
That’s because when a man has been drinking and sleeps with someone while intoxicated, and then decides he didn't like it, he doesn't scream that he was raped.
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u/Economy-Payment-1757 11d ago
Oh, god! This is one of the most populist sentence I've ever heard 😂😂😂
Men ARE accoubtable for their behavior. We're talking what the actual potential VICTIM can do to avoid becoming a victim. It's in her own self-interest. There's no "self-interest" in a man to "stop drinking", that's the basic difference.
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u/Rhythm-Amoeba 11d ago
I don't get this point. Are women not also responsible for their behavior while drinking?
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u/RhubarbAgreeable2953 11d ago
I personally think both are valid assessments, but none of the two are entirely spot on.
It's not about changing your behaviour, but being aware of the fact that you live in a potentially dangerous world, and you need to protect yourself.
To think you must be free to dress as you like in any place you want isn't inherently wrong, but it's terribly naive.
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u/FutureboyMcfly69 11d ago
Woman can also sexually assault or rape drunk men. We just don't talk about it because of society.
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u/fit-toker 11d ago
When it comes to sexual assault no one should be able to willingly participate in a gangbang then decide days later after you’ve been labeled a slut and uninvited to the Halloween party that you were raped by the very same people you consented with before during and even after according to messages.
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u/treesmith1 11d ago
Making generalizations based on psycopothy whether coming from either gender is disingenuous. Psycho's are going to do psycho things and it splits the genders evenly by percentage. Men are stronger so assaulting a weaker target makes sense to psycho. Just like killing your young children because they are weaker makes sense to a psycho. Lumping the vast majority of men into the psycho category is just what a gender that uses group consensus to wield power would do. Agency still rules at the of the day.
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u/misha_jinx 11d ago
Because this is a man’s world and it would be blasphemous to even think such a thing.
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u/Fit_Importance_5738 11d ago
It's not about changing the blame, you xant control someone else's behaviour, you can how ever change your own.
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u/1olehound 11d ago
It would be nice if we let this play out in a court of law and not a court of public opinion. More information is revealed every day that shows this isn’t black and white but very much shades of gray.
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u/Brotorious420 12d ago
I've drank. I've been shitfaced. I get horny all the time. I've been told no more than yes. Many I've wanted had not wanted me. All of these have converged, and yet I've never once considered forcing myself on a woman. Consent is sexy, brothers.