r/PoursTea • u/Timbucktwo1230 š« Mod āļø • Sep 16 '26
FeministTeaš©š»āšš©šæāāļøš š„¾ Mansplaining
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Sep 16 '26 edited Sep 16 '26
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u/GreenZebra23 Sep 16 '26
What's extra ridiculous is every man has had a guy mansplain to them. They don't do it as aggressively as they do to women, but they still fucking do it. Acting like it's not a real thing is obvious cap
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u/I-screwed-up-bad Sep 16 '26
True, I was reading this and thinking that many people regardless of identity do this, just some men do it a lot more emphatically.
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u/underboobfunk Sep 16 '26
There are exceptions to every gendered stereotype, but the confidence that causes someone to explain a subject of which they have casual knowledge to an expert of that subject is definitely a masculine trait. That confidence is driven by testosterone.
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u/I-screwed-up-bad Sep 16 '26
Oh testosterone might play a part but I think it's mainly how men are socialized. Or women with PCOS would be pcosplaining lol as well as other conditions where women's testosterone levels lie outside the "normal" levels.
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u/underboobfunk Sep 16 '26
Socialization definitely plays a huge part. Trans men report will report a huge surge in confidence when they start HRT but will continue to be more deferential in conversations than cis men.
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u/I-screwed-up-bad Sep 16 '26
That's interesting. Sucks that they feel like they still have to be deferential but interesting.
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Waffles And Pancakesš§š„ Sep 16 '26
It once happened to me while my husband was standing there. He told me later he didnāt totally believe me about mansplaining but seeing it done to me in front of him convinced him. Now he notices it all the time.
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u/UpperYoghurt3978 Sep 16 '26
I totally understand: See what the other posters are doing is mansplaining the mansplaining to you which is ironic because you were saying that mansplaining is bad......hmmmmm let me see how I can get through to you.
(sarcasm viva la dirt league skit)
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u/Particular_Grass8050 Sep 16 '26
No literally most of the comments are āyou dumb woman, how do you not understand that weāre just EXPLAINING things to you because we know things about subjects that you donātā
Like theyāre just mansplaining mansplaining but are just triggered by the world
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u/UpperYoghurt3978 Sep 16 '26
Yea irony is funny and not lost on me, if you have time look up viva la dirt league on mansplaining get a good laugh.
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u/Friendly-World-5273 Sep 16 '26
Iāve seen it; Iāve experienced it, but Iāve also seen the term thrown around to shut down conversation. And that Iām seeing more frequently, especially on the internet.
If you start a discussion, you donāt own it. Other people can contribute, and even if they add things you already know, itās not mansplaining or one upping, itās just sharing knowledge and it might benefit someone else. I see that bad take far too frequently.
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u/generic-irish-guy Sep 16 '26
āAnd has sometimes expressed reservations about how broadly it is usedā.
People seem fairly content to ignore this part. There are plenty of genuine examples of mansplaining, but it has also become another buzzword that people throw around when they hear something they donāt like.
Same thing happened with āincelā. Even aside from how it changed from the original meaning of involuntary celibate to its meaning now, plenty of people just use it when a man happens to criticise a woman or a group of women even when the criticism is valid.
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u/BigDowntownRobot Sep 16 '26
I feel like the refusal to listen is really the main thing that is generally ignored.
Being confident about something, or knowing things, and talking about things you know are not bad. It's the ignorance masked as confidence that is the thing. But I generally just see it as "a man is saying something he shouldn't be allowed to say, because he's a man, so he is ignorant" and I am not a fan.
Hell, the actual act of shutting someone down because they are "mansplaining" when you really just don't like what they are saying, or don't want to engage with it so you resort to personal attacks is essentially the same ignorance masking as confidence issue.
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u/Omnizoom Sep 16 '26
Thereās also a lot of femsplaining that happens too
Turns out humans just like being condescending asshats sometimes
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u/Unbuckled__Spaghetti Sep 16 '26
Which is a problem in its own right, because the word loses meaning. Itās like how gaslighting used to be a serious manipulation tactic but now it basically just means ālyingā.
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u/Global-Discussion-41 Sep 18 '26
There was a Video posted yesterday of a women on a dating show and she seemed sweet, but none of the guys wanted to date her.Ā
Lots of the top comments (in several different subreddits because it was reposted) were calling the guys incels.
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u/Idaho-Earthquake Sep 16 '26
Right? Iām glad it mentioned her unease with the misapplication of the word. It has enough valid uses without adding abuses.
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u/TopTopTopcinaa Sep 16 '26
Some guy the other day explained to me that pregnancy is āan inconvenienceā and that giving birth is not that bad. I have two kids. If that isnāt m*nsplaining, I donāt know what is.
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u/Idaho-Earthquake Sep 16 '26
Ah. That falls squarely in the āno uterus, no opinionā category.
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u/GreenSsswinger Sep 16 '26
Exactly! I've literally been told irl to "stop mansplaning" just for asking clarifying questions.
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u/Candid-Hovercraft228 Sep 17 '26
Words like this unfortunately are too effective as social weapons for the disingenuous to ignore when they run out of arguments.
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u/Interesting-Copy-657 Sep 17 '26
Exactly, the term is too quickly used and just seems to put people on the defensive or to shut down the conversation
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u/Salt-Lingonberry-853 Sep 17 '26
It is a term with a valid meaning to describe a phenomenon common enough to need its own word... But like any other discrediting accusation, it often lobbed around in places where it doesn't belong when toxic people aren't getting their way.
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Sep 16 '26
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u/tzaeru Sep 17 '26
As shown by this thread as well, men are very sensitive about these things. Have to be careful to not hurt their feelings.
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u/Pandaburn Sep 18 '26
Some people seem to not believe men have feelings? Or maybe enjoy hurting them? Itās not actually a good look.
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u/Fancy_footwork3670 Sep 16 '26
I was just reading a comment thread of a guy trying to explain the female orgasm (incorrectly) to a famous lesbian adult film star who's been working for 20 years.
Some men have no shame and infinite confidence.
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u/Confident-Ad-6978 Sep 16 '26
Mansplaining is when a man explains something to a woman that she already understood. Hoped I helped you girlsĀ
- a man
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u/PersonalPerson_ Sep 16 '26
I have actually had mansplaining mansplained to me in all seriousness. He assumed I had never heard the term (despite it being over a decade old at that point) and was telling me all about it.
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u/WhydIGetLoggedOut Sep 16 '26
I'm aware of mansplaining as a concept, but would certainly like someone to mansplain to me what this guy at the party did wrong - or was mansplaining - by saying that a new book had come out about this guy, and not knowing she was the author? Unless it's some author conference, why would you think you are talking to the author of a book about some topic (especially ome that seems pretty obscure). Like, ok, mansplaining happens, but it sounds like this guy was caught off guard about meeting the author of a book about an obscure topic.
:shrug:
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u/Xeno9116 Sep 16 '26
He cut her off while she was speaking about the topic to tell her about her own book, without having read it. It's the cutting her off and assuming his partial knowledge outweighed her actual knowledge.
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u/HighPoweredSandwich Sep 16 '26
That's not mansplaining. I will tell you what mansplaining is.
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u/No_Excuse4323 Sep 17 '26
no, dont listen to her. i heard from a good hird hand sourse a few deacades ago and know much better than... HER
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u/Interesting-Copy-657 Sep 17 '26
Mansplaining is when your are condescending, condescending is when you talk down to people, use simpler words like they donāt know anything.
/s
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u/W3REWOLF Sep 16 '26
Imagine fumbling a social interaction so bad that it becomes culturally significant
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u/VelvetCactus50 Sep 16 '26
Imagine making an ass out of yourself because you ignored the one attempt from the other person to stop you from doing that by "that's her book" repeatedly.
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u/ReasonableIron8712 Sep 16 '26
He was probably too inside his own head coming up with bullshit to register that.
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u/Vast-Breakfast-1201 Sep 16 '26
It's definitely over applied
I have had special interests where I am like "well I did some work here and it seems xyz abc whatever" and my wife is like "stop mansplaining"
This is my hobby im just talking about what I like, if you don't want to hear it then fine... I listen plenty too so it's not a unilateral thing.
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u/Lone-Frequency Sep 16 '26
I've had it used on me when I was literally explaining something they did not understand...
I'm like, "Okay! Good luck!"
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u/Jazzlike-Basket-6388 Sep 18 '26
I was the cost person on a major project. The project manager was a woman. I'd give her cost info and she's snap at me for mansplaining. I'm the subject matter expert, I own the tools that provide this information and it is my literal job to provide this information to you. My performance is entirely contingent on informing you.
Now they only pair her with women.
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u/SquirrelBoom Sep 16 '26
That's where I've had it used at me 99% of the time.
Like dawg I'm just a little touched and thought you meant it when you asked me to explain.
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u/Salt-Lingonberry-853 Sep 17 '26
If I had a woman use it on me seriously like that I don't think I'd stick around, it's pretty indicative of a sexist attitude. The term has valid meaning and cultural relevance, but it's not just "man explained something" and it is a big red flag for someone to use the term as such.
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u/Stildawn Sep 20 '26
When this came out I was like yeah of course assholes are everywhere.
But to be honest, in my experience mansplaining is WAY more common from women than it is from men. Obviously not a great thing to do from either gender.
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u/TheChronographer Sep 20 '26
I mean even the original event is like that. It doesn't say he was rude about it, or 'thought he knew better'. Her description equally fits someone who was really excited by her work talking about it, and her too timid to say anything, that's all.
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u/LurkerByNatureGT Sep 16 '26
Unsurprisingly, the comments in a a post about mansplaining demonstrate Lewisās law.Ā
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u/Ok-Contribution6337 Sep 20 '26
One thing we can all agree on as being worse than mansplaining is a statement which is a poorly disguised attempt to prompt a question begged by the statement.
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u/Otherwise-4PM Sep 16 '26
Only one thing isnāt clear, did he explain the book to her just because sheās a woman, or would he have done the same if there had been a man on the other side? Maybe heās just an idiot.
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u/FlipperBumperKickout Sep 16 '26
I've heard from trans people they begin experiencing quite a difference in how much this happens before and after transition š
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u/Felyxi4 Sep 16 '26
Immediately. The speed at which mysogyny showed up in my life was genuinely insane.
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Sep 16 '26 edited 18d ago
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u/TwinkleToes1996 Sep 16 '26
Ya know not trying to be insensitive, but the things you said in parentheses sound like names of heros that would fight alongside Negasonic Teenage Warhead.
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u/m3gb0t Sep 16 '26
I've seen this with my sister in law. When newly transitioned and out in public, she would text me saying "Omg, men stare at women so much!" or "Why do so many men have issues with personal space?" People don't always notice things that don't happen to them personally.
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u/peritonlogon Sep 16 '26
Not only that, men seem to instinctively keep poor behavior away from the eyes of disapproving men, which makes claims harder to believe because the actions are out of sight.
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u/m3gb0t Sep 16 '26
Exactly! She had no idea (how could she?) what women go through on a daily basis. She no longer thinks I'm some "crazy feminist" unfortunately now understands the means ing of patriarchy and misogny on a whole new level. I've been teach her how to stay safe and protect herself.
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u/peritonlogon Sep 16 '26
It's the same with race, I only get to hear 2nd hand from my wife (African). At first it's like "that doesn't sound right, maybe they meant this? " Then after while it's pretty disturbing how well people are able keep their views to themselves around me and me alone. It takes piercing through your understanding about the world.
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u/Felyxi4 Sep 16 '26
Yes! Ty! It's EXACTLY the same as race!. It's all the same miserable mechanism.
It is NOT applied evenly and that's where people get messed up.
The inequity of oppression is part of It's design
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u/m3gb0t Sep 16 '26
I agree. No one truly understands the experiences of other marginalized groups. That's why it's so important to listen to and believe others when they tell you about their lived experiences. We have to be willing to admit to our areas of ignorance, take accountability for our mistakes, take feedback without becoming defensive, and teach others without alienating them. I will never understand the people who feel they somehow know the experiences of a marginalized/oppressed group better than the actual members of that community.
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u/MrColburn Sep 16 '26
My wife works in a highly technical (STEM) field. She is the director of the department and her one superior is also female and the VP of the department. Both my wife and the VP are ridiculously accomplished in the field and both have been recruited several times by companies that need their expertise. My wife has not had to search for a new job in 15 years. She also works from home most days and I hear a lot of her meetings and the ones with men MUCH lower ranked than both of them can be absolutely hysterical. I cant count the number of times I have heard a man from an entirely different department, that has worked maybe a total of 1 year in her industry, explain to my wife and her superior how to do their jobs and how things work "around here". I honestly thought it would be the C-Suite execs that treated them like that but it's not. My wife said it has always been like that and anywhere she works the lower you go on the totem pole the more likely she was to find someone who was happy to explain what her job was and how to do it, even though being completely off by miles.
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u/Technical-Banana574 Sep 16 '26
Yeah, my friend said he was shocked by how differently he got treated post transition. Everyone suddenly listened to him and took what he said at face value.Ā
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u/_mnrva Sep 16 '26
I never knew this. This hurts to the core of my very being š£
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u/Complete-Leg-4347 Sep 16 '26
I've heard good things about her book "A Paradise Built in Hell", which challenges the popular narrative that following a disaster, people are less likely to embrace the chaos as an excuse to seize power and more likely to want to help each other.
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Waffles And Pancakesš§š„ Sep 16 '26
Itās infuriating. Makes you want to never talk to a man again. Iāve been interrupted by men, had my ideas stolen by men, told how to do something Iām a literal expert inā¦.that was all when I was younger. Iām in my 50s now and donāt tolerate it.
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u/JGeerth Sep 16 '26
Pretty embarrasing that he had to explain it to her. Didn't she understand what was going on when she wrote it?
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u/m3gb0t Sep 16 '26
Well texhnically, he didn't actually witness her do the research or write it. Her being the author is just what they want you to believe, sheeple. /s
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u/KindPlans Sep 17 '26
The woman responsible for the word mansplaining even has reservations about it and thinks it's used too broadly lol
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u/JazzgirlGriego Sep 16 '26
This reminds me of Billy Jean King vs Bobby Riggs....he got his nuts handed back to him lol.
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u/lwb03dc Sep 16 '26
It was an exhibition match created specifically as a way to make easy money for both BJK and the 55 year old Riggs. All his chauvinist bravado was basic showmanship. I'm sure he had no complaints about getting his nuts handed to him.
King entered the court in the style of Cleopatra, on a feather-adorned litter carried by four bare-chested muscle men dressed in the style of ancient slaves. Riggs followed in a rickshaw drawn by a bevy of models. Riggs presented King with a giant Sugar Daddy lollipop, and she responded by giving him a squealing piglet, symbolic of male chauvinism. Riggs was given $50,000 (about $363,000 currently) to wear a yellow Sugar Daddy jacket during the match, which he took off after three games. Riggs also placed many bets on and invested money in the match.
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u/sphinxorosi Sep 16 '26
How most of the users here feel after firing off a reply about women doing it too
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u/ASomthnSomthn Sep 16 '26
I happen to enjoy when people explain things theyāre excited about to me, regardless of their gender.
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u/Captain21423 Sep 16 '26
I got accused of mansplaining for explaining how to use the functions of a radar. Iām the captain. She was the trainee.
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u/throw7661 Sep 16 '26 edited Sep 16 '26
Edit: I originally expressed skepticism at the story shared in her essay - most notably regarding an apparent contradiction with the time of the review and the party.
I was wrong and offer my sincere apologies.
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u/17Girl4Life Sep 16 '26
The book had recently been reviewed in the NYT so itās not that big of a coincidence that it would be a topic of conversation at a party for educated, literary people. I was at a party with academics when someone brought up an article my friend published without realizing she was the author. It was just a current topic of conversation at the time
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u/stormyarthur Sep 16 '26
ā Ā But at some party, some guy, was like, 'Hey, let me tell you about this fairly obscure book about this guy nobody has heard of...' But wait Guess who happens to be standing right there?!? The Author!ā
Go back and read it again. The author was already talking about recently authoring a book about Muybridge, and the host started pontificating about a recent on published book onĀ Muybridge, not understanding that the book the author just published and was discussing was the āvery importantā book that the host was talking about. So the book was already being discussed before the host brought up the book.
And if you donāt think that folks didnāt discuss books that were reviewed in the New York Times, probably at a party that was full of āintellectualsā than I have a bridge to sell you.
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Sep 16 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Visible_Pair3017 Sep 16 '26
It's usually about as obnoxious as the other way, if by that you mean women explaining to men things they don't know about and the man does.
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u/No_Bluebird6873 Sep 16 '26
Anyones confidence can be mistaken as knowledge or skill, it does not have to be man. It is clear that this was from 2008 since it was so stale and disgustingly filled with sexism which isn't so fresh in the current year, 2026.
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u/Familiar-Tomorrow-42 Sep 16 '26
This is a perfectly reasonable story. Itās a shame the second most insufferable people in the world took the word and ran with it.
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u/Ohmybro34 Sep 16 '26
Just becsuse you read a book once doesnt mean you know the writers face or voice. Or even properly remember their name. Seems like a mistake i could have made.
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u/shadowlev Sep 16 '26
Yeah but typically you figure it out after being directly told to your face multiple times
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u/HolaDrNick Sep 16 '26
I always thought that story sounded like exceedingly pretentious people trying to one up and argue with each other in Aspen. I'd have gone looking for a dog to pet.
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u/m3gb0t Sep 16 '26
I always thought that story sounded like exceedingly pretentious people trying to one up and argue with each other in Aspen. I'd have gone looking for a dog to pet.
Hold on.
- Susan is at a party. In making small talk she mentions she wrote a book about pine trees.
- John hears this and begins to explain Susan's book to Susan, despite never reading it or knowing about pine trees.
- Max tries to tell John that Susan is the author of the book he's talking about, but he seeming doesn't care and continues to tell Susan about her own book.
- Max has to tell John several times before he believes that Susan wrote the book he never read.
Who are "exceedingly pretentious people trying to one up and argue with each other"?
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u/Rawrielai Sep 16 '26
You think a woman trying to point out that she in fact authored the book someone is trying to tell her about is a "one up"?
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u/Apprehensive_Ad3731 Sep 16 '26
My major issue with this is because a lot of women think it is a personal attack on their gender and they donāt realise that the person āmansplainingā is just an asshole and they would be just as dismissive of a mans idea.
Itās sad because it throws a whole gender under the bus instead of specifying the asshole in front of them.
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u/Comfortable-Tea7122 Sep 16 '26
The primary tenet of literary critique is that the author's opinion of their work is irrelevant to it's meaning.
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u/PerformanceParty2810 Sep 16 '26
Youre telling me she tried to tell the guy the author was standing in front of him and he ignored her? Ngl, this makes me think that entire story is a lie
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u/Athunc Sep 16 '26
Having read the whole text, she did not make that word after all. Unknown strangers on the internet did after relating to her story. So the first picture is inaccurate
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u/narco-sub-admiral know me, broken by my master Sep 17 '26
The term "reply guy" is also pretty funny in the context of Twitter. Before it was muskd.
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u/Jaded_Afternoon_4778 Sep 17 '26
"Mansplaining" is when a man shares his perspective on something and then misandrists get upset at him for it.
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u/almostaproblem Sep 17 '26
Yall never miss an opportunity to make something sexist. This is totally a gendered problem and not a people problem.
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u/Due_Brother8485 Sep 17 '26
So basically, woman was slightly off put by one man, then decided to make it literally everybody else's problem out of spite.
More breaking news at 11.
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u/SchemeOne2145 Sep 17 '26
It's hilarious how many comments here say (with no sense of irony) "actually that wasn't mansplaining. mansplaining is....."
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u/Elensar265 Sep 17 '26
he read a review of it
The dipshit in question aside that is practically everybody on this site and other social media nowadays
People commenting on things they've seen a 30 second clip of and think they're now an expert
Nobody does their due diligence lmao
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u/Fragrant_Entry9232 Sep 17 '26
What a bullshit story because this turned into its all men until its no men.Ā
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u/theevilgood Sep 17 '26
Did we ever get any confirmation that this actually happened or nah? Because honestly, these people lie so much i don't take anything they say on faith anymore
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u/Interesting-Copy-657 Sep 17 '26
My issue with the word is that it just gets used to shut down conversations
Like it is just used when ever a man explains something and the woman doesnāt want to listen or feels the argument isnāt going her way.
Their just doesnāt seem to be any requirement for condescending or sexism before people use it.
Just a man explaining anything is enough
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u/Boring_Butterfly_273 Sep 17 '26
People who aren't sexist simply call it condescending, patronizing, or overexplaining.
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u/icanith Sep 17 '26
Ahh yes the time honored tradition of only one gender ever condescending talking down to the other.Ā
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u/Kayanne1990 Sep 17 '26
Man that was far too many words just for something I ended up not caring about...
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u/Equivalent_Bar_5938 Sep 17 '26
I never really liked how women when talking about mansplaning always talk in a way that makes it seem like men do it only to women we do it just as much to other men.like i legit saw my dad whos not a mechaninc explaining to a mechanic hoe an engine would run But its wierd with men when you mansplain to a men they rarely get offended the mechanic just laughed and said yeah i know its kind of my job.
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u/Skee76 Sep 17 '26
In all fairness, men do this to each other as well. If somebody has that feeling of status/importance over the other in a "discussion", you cant get a word in sideways regardless how much of an expert you are on the subject.
Is this not an issue between women talking/discussing? Are they all considerate of each others feelings and value everybody's opinion equally? Just asking.
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u/xYekaterina Sep 18 '26
Women do it to each other and to men, yes.
"Are they all considerate of each others feelings and value everybody's opinion equally?"
God, no.
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u/TheEPGFiles Sep 17 '26
Yeah, in my experience it's because it's all ego, they want to feel like they're the smartest person in the room. If truth is a matter of ego, then mankind is fucked.
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u/Doobiius Sep 17 '26
I hate the term mansplaining. It's simply the case if ignorant people who like to feel intellectually superior by surface level projection. I've seen all genders do it. I once watched a women who studied law at uni sit telling my GF at the time how wrong she was about certain laws and processes and when she eventually stopped to say how would I know any better. I went I don't but I'll believe my GF is right for nothing other than shes been practicing law as a job now for 8 years. You left uni 8 years ago and work retail.
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u/jaybool Sep 17 '26
She doesn't like women explaining things, either, though.
https://cathyyoung63.medium.com/rebecca-solnit-is-the-queen-of-fauxminism-and-fakery-d0b2f0cb77d
"One of the essays in The Mother of All Questions is āMen Explain Lolita to Me,ā first published on the Lithub site in December 2015 as a follow-up to another piece (also included in the book) on books that are toxic for women. Some people on the Internet had the nerve to disagree, so Solnit penned another essay about how men oppress her by telling her sheās wrong. She was particularly incensed by one comment questioning her statement that, when reading Vladimir Nabokovās Lolita, she identified with the sexually abused title character:
It all came down to Lolita. āSome of my favorite novels are disparaged in a fairly shallow way. To read Lolita and āidentifyā with one of the characters is to entirely misunderstand Nabokov,ā one commenter informed meā¦ The popular argument that novels are good because they inculcate empathy assumes that we identify with charactersā¦ Itās just when you identify with Lolita youāre clarifying that this is a book about a white man serially raping a child over a period of years. Should you read Lolita and strenuously avoid noticing that this is the plot and these are the characters? Should the narrative have no relationship to your own experience? This man thinks so, which is probably his way of saying that I made him uncomfortable.
A few paragraphs down, Solnit quoted the comment again, snidely referring to its author as āone of my volunteer instructors,ā and mentioned discussing it on her own Facebook page only to get lectured some more by two ānice liberal men.ā
Five days after the essay was published, a post appeared in the comments section claiming that (1) āthis manā was a woman with a gender-ambiguous name, and (2) she had not made this point to Solnit but in a discussion in her alumni group on Facebook. In two more days, one Sidney Newton (whose Facebook page confirms she is indeed a woman) chimed in:
I am a woman and the person quoted in the article and described as a man. She left out most of what I said as well. Thatās fine. What isnāt fine is claiming men are explaining things to you and supporting that by quoting a woman talking to someone else.
Thatās when Solnit did a āstealth edit,ā altering the text without acknowledging the changes. āOne commenter informed meā became āone commenter asserted,ā while āthis man thinks soā became āthis reader thinks soā ā and the speculation about the readerās discomfort with white-male-rapist-blaming disappeared altogether."
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u/NerdyBro07 Sep 17 '26
Whatās it called when a woman explains something to a man that he already knows?
My only issue is the term makes it sound like itās some gender specific issue. Iāve encountered overly arrogant men and women and regardless of gender those types will do the same shit.
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u/financialchrisis Sep 17 '26
Mansplaining is such a stupid term, I have many male and female coworkers 'mansplain' the IT infrastructure that I helped create to me.
It's called having a huge ego or having had too much to drink.
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u/HydroPCanadaDude Sep 17 '26
It's too gendered of a term. I've seen confidence masquerading as expertise in women plenty. Extra points if they're a narc.
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u/Lorelessone Sep 17 '26
To preface as this will generate a lot of hate from people who feel called out. I work in heavy engineering and back in the day when women were first braking into engineering and technical trades I witnessed and had to deal with SO many cases of mansplaining, having to deal with them when in charge of people etc.
It was and still occasionally is a real issue.
BUT the word now is used almost exclusively as a sexist slur to try to silence men, this comment will certainly get called mansplaining, its used in the same way the suffragettes or any other women saying things sexists didn't like were called hysterical.
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u/Key_Pound_6213 Sep 18 '26
I've met brilliant men and brilliant women.
I've met far more not so brilliant people who very easily feel slighted and grasp to whatever explanation suits their ego.
I'm a man who is often wrong, has met many brilliant women that know more than me.
Yet the women that invoke mansplaining have never felt particularly impressive.
I have no doubt men do undercut women on occasion due to their(the men to be clear) ignorance and arrogance.
Yet most often I have encountered people full of ignorance and arrogance using this as a shield.
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u/Eponymous-Username Sep 18 '26
Never explain anything to a woman. Even if she asks, and especially at work. It isn't worth the hassle, and most people are happier in ignorance.
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u/sadguywithhugedick Sep 18 '26
I canāt remember the last time I was accused of mansplaining because I choose not to hang out with women, but I just like explaining stuff. I usually know more than other people too. So Iām sorry if youāre a lady pharmacologist or whatever, but talking about something used to be known as āconversationā
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u/launchedsquid Sep 18 '26
Mansplaining is when a man explains a concept to a woman in a condescending way. There you go sweetheart.
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u/MarcelPappas Sep 18 '26
Good. Now create a word about a woman who kills her 3 children. One the world won't forget also please.
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u/BoomBoxPizza Sep 18 '26
No one finding irony that a woman wrote a book explaining Muybridge (a male photographer), later went on to say she was āmansplainedā šæ
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u/moonyflamingo Sep 18 '26
I recently had to sit through a five minute monologue of a man explaining feminism to me. Including how hard it was for men.
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u/PrettySatyric-al Sep 19 '26
And because of this, we now have women confidently claiming a man is mansplaining something to her, even when HE is the actual expert and SHE knows Jack. But nobody's ready for that conversation.
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u/MrT-87 Sep 19 '26
In everyday life though its funny how a man can patiently explain something a woman didnāt understandā¦ and the second she gets it, someone still labels it āmansplaining.ā Apparently the crime isnāt the explanation, itās having a Y chromosome while delivering it
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u/corn_explosion Sep 19 '26
'splaining in general, man or not, is the actual problem here. I'm and man and get interrupted by the women in my life with great frequency. I have to just stand there while the 'splaining occurs, and when it's over I continue.
I think there's a decent chance that the man in this situation was really excited to tell them all about this great book he heard about, and I would guess most likely didn't catch, maybe even couldn't really adequately process that this woman in front of him wrote it.
I think the "he explained her own book to her" is misleading at best. He was excited by your book, that's a huge compliment. He didn't know you, and sure they say they told him over and over it was her book... I don't know. If it was sexist I imagine he'd not have been as excited or whatever in the first place, knowing it was a female author.
I'm just saying, being sulky about a stranger showing excitement over your work, even (and maybe more so) if they can't quit talking about it is a bit weird. I would die to have someone recognize me in this way, and I think would genuinely laugh at the end, feeling humbled and content..
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u/ConclusionNaive8816 Sep 20 '26
So they took one case involving one asshole and turned it into a rule for all men. Now they can just shut down conversations and debates and always be right because, you know, a man explaining something is automatically āmansplaining.ā Womenās manipulation has no limits.
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u/thegoddamnsiege Sep 20 '26
I remember when the idea of mansplaining actually clicked with me.
About a decade ago, me and my partner at the time were at her mother's house for Christmas or something. Her step-father, a regular blue-collar dude who didn't graduate high school and got most of his information from Joe Rogan, was confidently and incorrectly explaining feminism to another family member. The person he was talking to was AFAB, and had a master's degree in women and gender studies. When the other person would try to correct him on certain points, he would argue with them, and cite a bunch of YouTube videos he saw.
I was kind of stunned by the exchange, and at that moment realized why so many women are infuriated by mansplaining.
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u/beastmen-enjoyer Sep 20 '26
Anything regarding mansplaining and redditors trip over themselves to tell everybody how they understood the 'female surgeon' riddle instantly. Bravo guys youre one of good ones /s
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u/sbrozzolo Sep 20 '26
Only a woman can get annoyed at the fact that people tries to look good using your book.
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u/BigJim_McBob Sep 20 '26
I do this with my negative encounters with ethnic minorities, and all I got was a meeting with HR.
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u/Jive_Turkey__ Sep 20 '26
Imagine not taking that as a huge compliment. If I met someone who was effusive about a piece of work I created, I would let them finish and then let them in on the surprise at the end
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u/Fast_Technology_5622 Sep 20 '26
He isnāt explaining anything. Heās guilty of loving the sound of his own voice and even that can be explained by him being the host of the party and having to be āonā more than he probably would be usually.
I canāt believe this is where mansplaining comes from. What typical bullshit.
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u/Cotton_420 Sep 21 '26
Must of been such a traumatic experience for her, I hope writing a book about it helped her heal š. People who live in abject poverty, severe illness and disease, worn torn countries can take some strength and gratitude from hearing about the authorās struggles.
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u/Glad_Music_4138 Sep 21 '26
In that context it just sounds like some douchebag obnoxiously trying to hold attention.
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u/Careful-Force2506 Sep 16 '26
The doctor was the mother! How clever!!