Depressed, anxious, seasonal depression (coming up), CPSTD, irritable, triggers, past stressors, current stressors, self blame self hatred etc

Recently started Yasmin and my first two weeks weren't too bad. I actually started thinking, hey, maybe I can ride this cycle out without completely falling apart!

Anyway, the day I was expecting my period to start...BOOM, my car starts playing up and ends up in the garage. Now I'm looking at a repair bill of nearly £1,000.

So now I'm sitting here wondering is it my PMDD making this feel like the end of the world, or is life genuinely just throwing shit at me?

Has anyone else had a massive, unexpected disaster happen right in the middle of their luteal phase, when they're already hanging on by a thread? How do you tell the difference between PMDD making everything feel 100 times worse and just having a genuinely shit time?

I'm convinced my PMDD has somehow manifested itself into my car breaking down.

Make it make sense!

if youre seeing this i just wanna say im proud of you for being here another day. pmdd is a daily battle but lets all keep going together (*´︶`*)♡

This sub helps me every luteal phase just knowing there are other people out in the world dealing with this. So first and foremost thank you to all of you! You are making a difference!

Here are some of the things I use to distract myself or sooth myself when I am feeling like absolute shit:

\- Podcasts! (The basement yard has been giving me chuckles and makes me happy that there are nice bros in the world)

\- Decaf black tea and oat milk creamer from trader joes

\- Frozen dinners! (I love swedish meatballs with all my heart)

\- Puppy and cat cuddles and strolls.

\- Forcing myself to get into nature or take a walk in a park

\- Going to bed early even if I guilt myself into thinking it's too early. You never have to force yourself to stay awake and feel like shit.

\- Journaling my every horrible feeling about my partner who clearly hates me every other 2 weeks.

\- Telling my partner I have to be alone instead of pretending to be fine and then exploding at him.

\- Getting library books out that aren't my usual genre. My luteal phase reading is usually Grady hendrix style dark comedy horror books. I can't stand normal chick lit while I'm getting close to my period, but love it after lol.

\- I have been trying to have the mantra "feelings are valid but they are not always facts" which helps a little and is also so hard to believe!

What helps you even if it's small and doesn't feel like it's helping in the moment for y'all? To anyone reading this, thanks for existing and I want you to know these feelings are horrible to deal with and you're not alone even if your brain is really really trying to tell you otherwise.

Anyone else? The fatigue started a couple days ago. This morning, I could barely get out of bed.

Yes, there’s the depression and anxiety side of things — but the physical exhaustion and loss of motivation I feel even 10 days out is probably the most intense part.

I just want to sleep. And keep sleeping…

I'm so done with everything. No one cares about me. I was raised by a horrible narcissist who laughs in my face when she sees me. Literally points a finger towards me and makes fun of me with whoever she's with. My sister hates me, my dad never calls not even for my birthday. I have repressed memories of possible csa that literally makes me unable to work due to how bad panic attacks and nightmares are. I feel like I will never have a good life. I wish I wasn't born. I hate it here. My biggest dream is to travel the world and live fully but I'm stuck in this hell of a life...

I’m on cycle day 41 and no sign of my period. I’ll often be late, but it’s rarely this late. I feel like I’m stuck in luteal hell mentally, but I don’t have any cramps or usual physical signs that it’s about to start. I’ve done 3 negative pregnancy tests. I’ve had this a few times in life where I’ve had high stress which has made me skip a period. I’m terrified I’m going to be stuck in this phase until next month’s period.
If anyone’s missed a period, did you find that your hormones eventually levelled out anyway? This is AWFUL.

I’ve been studying for an important exam. It’s in a few days, very close to my period. Currently I’m close to my period and the exhaustion is through the roof. I’m so so tired all I wanna do is lie down. The brain fog is bad, I’m slow at studying right now, unable to function at my full capacity.

What works for yall? With the brain fog and exhaustion? I’m taking vitamin d supplements as I was deficient.

I’ve put in a lot of effort for this exam, for months. I cannot let my hormones ruin it for me on the D day :(

P.S: I don’t get cbd where I live

I’m totally fine I promise. But I’m in the thick of one of my worst luteal phases in a while. I’ve also got my birthday coming up and it hasn’t really been the same since I stopped talking to my sister and became estranged over 3 years ago. I sometimes feel PMDD makes me relive some of the trauma from the estrangement. I’m trying to give myself grace during this cycle knowing it’s harder this month, but life is requiring me to function like a normal human being. 😭💔

Ive tried so many things. Zoloft, Lexapro, Prozac. I tried Slynd two years ago but had some side effects. On it again now, helped during lutheal, but now im feeling terrible.

The fact is that it has gone too far. im 38 soon 39 and i cant accept my life as it is. PMDD has ruined a lot, but also my life in general I guess. but i think the pmdd have been major in messing with my direction in life and my self esteem. i had great grades and was pretty popular and with many friends back in high school. I was a kind girl with low self worth though (it sounds braggy, but i really feel that way now - i see how i was kind and good enough, but always felt less than). my parents helped me and wanted my best. i was fortunate, but it still never clicked for me.

My friends have passed me in this path of life, they are having kid nr 1, 2 and 3. And i want to die with this approaching. Im single and and struggling with PMDD-depression, and also a more and more general depression due to how my life became nothing like i had hoped and wished for. And also had the possibilty to have a family, hadnt it been for different difficulties and pmdd.

i dont know what to do, i have a decent job and a flat and my dear dog. But i dont want to continue living because of the inner pain i feel and how my surroundings mirror back to me my worst nightmare: alone, childless, single, still struggling.

Maybe Slynd is affecting my thoughts, but they are also rooted in reality. I so wanted Slynd to work, since they did help in lutheal.

thanks for this group. I wish things were different for everyone with PMDD.
And i just want to disappear, cause my life became nothing like it could have been, and Im so lonely and sad so often. A failure and with the lost prospect of having children- i want to leave this story and never come back to it, its too painfull.

Just started my period today and Ive been feeling the depression and hopelessness up to this point and even today still is this normal? I normally feel this way around my period but it feels worse this time and Im wondering when it’s gonna go away. Ive also felt pretty stressed anyways from anxiety and health issues so that’s probably making it worse

Hi everyone, pls do read this if u can. I'm a 19 y.o girl currently going through shit for multiple reasons, mostly very bad obsessive thoughts. I have anxiety and was diagnosed with depression months ago. But today I had a breakdown over nothing - my period is coming up, and i want to share this also because of some patterns I've noticed.

Just a few hours ago, I was having dinner with my parents and I spilled olive oil on the tablecloth. My parents ruined my self esteem by being emotionally neglectful and immature, so I always feel tense when I make mistakes. That's why, even tho they were NOT yelling or angry, I stood up and left to go cry in my room.

My eyes still burn from crying, I'm desperate tbh. This whole thing triggered the familiar obsessive spiral that's been torturing me, so... I've been thinking abt giving up on life because i dont see a good future ahead of me. I just began to tell myself that life is simply humiliating and pointless, but there's a small part of me who thinks that's an ego-dystonic thought EVEN for me.

Whatever it is, it's killing me. And I wonder if it's just my normal depression showing up again?

I feel AWFUL before my period starts. Existential crisis moments aren't a new thing for me, but maybe they are worse during that phase? Sometimes I catch myself feeling like shit, but I tell myself it's just my period waiting to show up. And I'm always right.

I felt like therapy had REALLY helped with my depression after about 4 months. However, this feels different. If it were some form of PMDD, I'd be kinda embarassed to mention it bc its not like I needed meds (or smth like that) for my depression, so why would my pre-period breakdowns need extra attention? At least that's what my brain tells me.

maybe i made this post just to vent.. or ask y'all how you managed this when you found out you had actual PMDD. If I were to tell my therapist (a competent and serious professional btw), I wouldn't know how to approach it: he's a man —and I already feel like im just being a whiny kid; how do I deal with this when I can't even take myself seriously 😕

I had to reschedule my psychiatrists appointment to tomorrow instead of 4 weeks because i mentally cannot do this anymore. i need someone to tell me that there’s hope i can get my PMDD under control. I just got diagnosed recently and haven’t started treatment yet and have no idea what those options look like. I told my therapist about it my diagnosis yesterday asking for help on how to handle how i’m feeling and she basically implied that she didn’t believe me and that it’s probably pcos. I am on day 6 of my luteal phase and i literally want to crawl out of my brain. I woke up last night at 1 am and started bawling my eyes out for 2 hours because i cannot handle how painful this feels mentally. I probably sound insane right now because i’m just about going insane. Someone please tell me there’s hope. i’m literally begging.

yay PMOS/PCOS and PMDD/PME!!! confusing ass experiences, bit scared since my period has been regular my whole life so far (i am not pregnant because i do not have sex with penises) (i do have a doctors appt to check in just wanted to vent 💓💓💓)

I haven’t left home in years. I go through cycles of being depressed and feeling I’m not a real person to being perfectly fine for a couple of days. Most of the time I have this sense of hopelessness, like my life is nearing its end. The world feels fake, like idk how I’m even interacting with things in the world, they don’t look solid, it’s like I’m living life in a dream. Some days I can’t decide which hobby to give my time to and on others I lose interest in everything in life and nothing keeps my attention. I start feeling trapped inside this body, feeling a strong urge to escape it. My parents are neglectful so they never really get me medical help or even validate what I’m experiencing, they tell me it’s all in my head cause I’m diagnosed with anxiety and that it isn’t a big deal. But i don’t feel like a human being, shouldn’t that be concerning ? I don’t take my eyes off screens for long cause it makes me super uncomfortable watching the real world, I’m so used to living in my head that life feels alien, like looking at my hands and feet while not being able to see my face unsettles me.

I vented to a close friend months ago about pmdd, and how it ruins my life. She’s going to school for psych, and i guess someone brought up pmdd and the class talked about it.

When i vented to her, she couldn’t fathom how im not on birth control. She said “it will make your pmdd go away” and at this point i just wanted to change the subject lol.

I was on birth control for 6 years in my teen years, if anything, it made everything worse. Then in 2020 i tried yaz for 2 months, and literally thought i was going to end my life.

If birth control works for you- that’s amazing, i just wish people were more informed on this disorder before suggesting a “cure” and i also wish she realized that birth control doesnt help everyone with pmdd. And i know a lot of you on BC mention you still have symptoms too!

Just frustrating and needed to vent. This friend has been exhausting me for years. I’m about to just go no contact.

Wow, that was quick! It feels like only yesterday we were playing bingo for 150k members.

We now have 160k members and couldn't be more grateful that each one of you is here, engaging in this community and making it the amazing space that it is. We couldn't do it without you.

Let's play a spooky game to celebrate.

For anyone new to two-sentence horror stories, check out r/TwoSentenceHorror

Drop your best two-sentence PMDD horror story in the comments below.

I’m mid-20s, diagnosed a year ago. I’ve worked a lot of different jobs before my PMDD kicked in. I eventually want a career, but while I’m still figuring that out, I’m weighing switching from my current office job in medical administration but I don’t know how accommodating other jobs are to this disorder. I’m wondering if folks could tell me about how it’s manageable with their job. What are the pros and cons of your type of work wrt PMDD?

My office job is great insofar as:
• I can plan ahead a little bit and grind harder on certain days so that I can take things at a slower pace during luteal.
• it’s a small company with minimal meetings and supervision as long as I complete everything on time, so I can isolate myself on days where socialization feels unbearable.
• I make enough to pay my bills at 4 days per week.

The drawbacks are
• grueling rush hour driving commute, which can trigger my anger easily
• the big one: sitting all day gives me no inertia. 8 hours at the desk + 2 hours in the car + 3 weekly therapy sessions means I barely move all day. I sometimes feel more exhausted by this than when I was on my feet in food service. Its hard to suddenly work up the energy to hit the gym after work and it reinforces the depressive cycle.
• being self-paced and distraction-less gives me lots of time to ruminate on negative thoughts and spiral out at work

So what does your PMDD/work relationship look like? Is any of this relatable? Do you have accommodations? What do you like/dislike about it? Is the grass just looking greener to me right now?

This is so hard.

Hi everyone else on the struggle bus.

Just now figuring out and being diagnosed with PMDD. I am 35 now. I also have Autism, GAD, CPTSD, and a panic disorder. The past months that this has flared up we just assumed it was bad health anxiety. Which don't get me wrong, it absolutely impacted my health anxiety but that is pretty well managed now that I have a name for what the heck was making me feel so off during the first half of the month.

Now to this month. This has hands down been the worst one mentally. I was in the ER exactly a week ago because I hadn't slept in 48 hours and was stuck in a panic/anxiety loop. They gave me Ativan to help with the anxiety and I slept that day and felt better. But since then I am getting maybe 3 hours total and that is completely broken up. I can't seem to stay asleep for more than an hour at a time and it is taking it's toll.

I was on Mirena for a while after having my daughter 2 years ago, and I had that removed on the 16th and started Nuvaring that I will be using continuously for 4 weeks. I have done Nuvaring in the past and loved it. Never knew about my PMDD though. SSRI's do not work well for me. Not just because of my autism but I have a bad past of DV where medications were used against me so it is a tough mental game. I tried Zoloft and Lexapro last year for my base anxiety and omg it was hell. I don't think I could mentally do it again.

I feel like this is forever. I just want to sleep and feel better. Last week was my crying fits, those have calmed down. I am supposed to start my "period" today. I say it that way because of mirena stopping my bleeding but not the hormonal ride. My anxiety is so high but I don't realize it until I am trying to sleep. I have done the supplements, no caffeine now for 2 weeks, working on staying hydrated.

Will this end? I am really struggling with knowing that I will come out of this. It's been almost an entire 2 weeks. I am so depressed and exhausted but I can't sleep and eating is so difficult.

If my cycle goes to plan, I’m 7 days away from my period - oh boy can I tell by my unrecognisable face :D

Hi All! Curious as to how you all manage the luteal back pain from hell.. this months has been extra terrible.. I also had gotten shingles back in May on the left side of my back and had soo many back issues im just so over it

I’ve done and mri which came back clean so I’m really thinking this is residual healing/ swelling from the hormone fluctuations from my PMDD and still healing from shingles

Curious also if anyone was able to conceive and had this? Did the pain go away during pregnancy?

Contexte : Je suis nouveau sur le sub, et principalement là pour essayer d'accompagner ma compagne du mieux que je peux. Et pour moi aussi, je suppose.

Bref, ce matin, j'ai ouvert un post (A propos du protocole PERT, en l'occurrence), dont OP donnait justement un lien vers la définition du protocole.

J'ai ouvert le lien...et je vais être honnête j'ai fermé tout de suite, pour deux raisons :

- Angoisse instantané. Trop d'info. C'est super que ça existe pour les personnes qui ont justement besoin de ce niveau de détail, mais pour moi, c'est trop, actuellement

- J'ai juste pas le niveau technique. Je ne suis pas natif anglophone, et bien que merci à l'IA, ça reste du vocabulaire médical. Déjà que j'aurais dû mal à comprendre pour moi, alors pour un organe que je n'ai pas... C'est pas parceque c'est traduit que c'est beaucoup plus clair, du coup 🤣

------

Quelqu'un saurait me renseigner pour deux choses svp?

- Un lien vers le wiki ou autre un peu plus accessible? Par exemple, une sorte de dictionnaire pour juste me familiariser avec le vocabulaire utilisé sur ce sub? J'étais clairement pas prêt a ce que j'ai ouvert ce matin mdr

Et j'ai pas envie de réitérer l'expérience tout de suite par moi-même, malgré la règle N°1 du sub 😅

- Des recommandations pour les "gens comme moi"? Je veux dire, si je suis ici, c'est évidement parce que tout n'est pas rose. Pour ma partenaire, en premier lieu, évidemment. Mais aussi pour moi. J'ai sûrement autant besoin de comprendre par quoi elle passe, que de comprendre par quoi je passe aussi. ( Et oui, j'ai déjà mon prochain rdv psy de programmé mdr, si jamais 😂)

Vous connaissez des sub dédiés aux partenaires? Dans la même idée que r/ADHD et r/ADHD_partner (En moins dépressif que ADHD_partner, si possible mdr. Je déconseille ce sub a toute personne qui n'est pas suffisamment bien dans sa peau et son couple 😅). Et si oui, est-ce que vous pensez que c'est une bonne idée de le rejoindre ( cf mon vécu sur r/ADHD_partner ci-dessus, j'ai compris la lesson lol)?

Typiquement, si le "partner rent" est banni de r/PMDD pour des raisons évidentes, alors il existe un sub où il est sûrement implicitement encouragé. J'ai pas envie de tomber sur ce genre de sub par mégarde, justement. Pas aujourd'hui, en tout cas 😁