Friend set her phone assistant's voice to my accent.

[u/suzyyyybae]

I met up with a friend today and the first thing I noticed was her phone assistant was talking with the same accent I have except more pronounced. I could tell she didnt realize/maybe forgot to change it from her facial expressions. I asked her why her phone assistant has that accent and she told me she liked it because it was funny. I told her I didnt understand what was funny and she said she'd change it but we were in a rush and she couldnt.

Its been bothering me the entire day and I cant tell if its offensive or Im just being bothered over nothing.

Edit: Im Korean and the accent was a Korean accent. Ive worked hard to get an American accent and its pretty good imo but sometimes my Korean accent slips through. The friend is white. She has never said/done anything racist before and as far as I know, she is not a kpop/kdrama fan.

[u/Excellent_Bet8191]

I fully thought this was going to be a cute post like “my friend set her assistant voice to sound like mine because it makes her happy,” and instead was met with shitty micro aggressions, how incredibly ignorant and rude of your friend

[u/orange-pineapple → u/Excellent_Bet8191]

I know when I opened the post I was hoping it was gonna be about how the friend loves being reminded of OP’s voice but instead it’s racism 🙃

[u/Excellent_Bet8191 → u/orange-pineapple]

Seriously though! I hesitated to even call this a microaggression, since it is just racist as hell

[u/dkmeidku]

The girlies saying you’re overthinking it have never experienced microaggressions. Don’t listen to them.

[u/PhArtVandelay → u/dkmeidku]

This isn’t even a micro aggression. The “friend” called her accent funny. That’s a macro aggression.

[u/nmteddy → u/PhArtVandelay]

I’m not saying it isn’t possible for this to be a microaggression, but I’ve heard way too many guys answer with “because it’s funny” when they change their phone to any other accent, and for the most part they’ve been British and Australian accents.

And it's fresh in my mind because my nephew just said this last weekend when I asked him about the Australian accent.

[u/rachycarebear → u/nmteddy]

Context matters, things like systems of oppression, who holds power and privilege, eetc.

Calling the Australian accent funny doesn't have racist undertones. White Americans as a general cohort tend to love it and see it as a positive. (The posh British accent is treated differently than the cockney/country one, but iiuc that's classics more than racism. Entirely not my field of familiarity though.)

As a general rule, when white Americans use funny for east asian cultures or accents, it's demeaning, fetishizing, or similar sorts of racism.

Those two things are not the same and tbh it's problematic to diminish microagressions with "well maybe they didn't mean it, it sometimes also happens to white people"

[u/bibupibi → u/dkmeidku]

Agreed. I’m very disappointed by all the women saying she’s overreacting. The context is bad. Even more frustrated by the women replying to the context that she’s a ESL speaker by saying her friend is probably into Korean media. Why is their first instinct to make excuses for her? The friend straight up told OP she thinks the accent is funny. Really frustrated by continued racism in the feminist movement.

[u/wanderrslut → u/bibupibi]

Mainstream feminism often forgets women of color exist and it's exhausting. Intersectionality is such a foreign concept to some of them.

[u/Own_Proposal955 → u/wanderrslut]

Exactly, any feminist who doesn’t focus on intersectionality is doing to wrong in my book.

[u/Wooden-Limit1989 → u/bibupibi]

One thing some people will do is excuse anything before calling it racist/prejudicial/micro aggression

[u/green_mandarinfish → u/bibupibi]

Yeah her admitting she thinks it's funny is damning. Sorry OP. Hearing something like that from a friend hurts more than a stranger.

[u/Itsjustkit15 → u/dkmeidku]

The fact that the friend's answer was, "because I think it's funny" makes it sooo much worse too.

I'm ftm and my boyfriend has his phone assistant voice set to the one that sounds like a t-boy. At first I thought it was kinda weird because he's not trans (gay cis man) but when I asked him about it he was like, "I love that they have such inclusive options! Isn't it great?" lol. He also had it set to that before we met/started dating.

[u/bisexual_pinecone → u/Itsjustkit15]

That is very very cute!

[u/Itsjustkit15 → u/bisexual_pinecone]

He is the sweetest honestly. I cannot recommend queer men more. Ofc there are douches everywhere, but in general queer men are much lovelier to date.

I also think I just landed a hardcore baddie. He cooked me the best tacos I've ever had in my life for our third date and is exceptional in bed despite having very little experience with vaginas lol.

[u/sososonia → u/Itsjustkit15]

AW that is really cute 🥺

[u/Original_Breakfast36 → u/dkmeidku]

And they’re all thinking of English speaking accents that’s why they don’t see an issue… of course

[u/maryneedswifi → u/Original_Breakfast36]

But somehow I know it wasn’t a British accent 😭😭😭😭

[u/Wooden-Limit1989 → u/maryneedswifi]

I immediately knew it was not british

[u/Aggravating_Baker557 → u/dkmeidku]

Exactly this and it’s super disappointing.

[u/sososonia → u/dkmeidku]

even if OP didn't have an accent and she was another yt woman...what's so funny about another accent? gives me the ickkkkk

[u/Life_Technology7584 → u/dkmeidku]

This! If she is really her friend when you tell her it bothers you’ll she apologize profusely and change it. 

She may be an ignorant racist but she is still being a racist for having it because “it’s funny”. Now that you’ve told her see if she listens, but also it’s completely okay to let this friendship die because you don’t like it. SHE needs to make the amends now and try harder to be a better friend, not you. She fucked up its responsibility to fix it. If she doesn’t please know you deserve friends who are so so so much better and it’s her loss.  

But this is a MAJOR friendship red flag in my opinion. 

[u/Entire-Reindeer-8520 → u/dkmeidku]

agreed!!

[u/Dragonsong21 → u/dkmeidku]

Thissss

[u/No_Giraffe2555 → u/dkmeidku]

HARD AGREE

[u/Simply_witchy]

WOOF the racism from these girlies is JUMPING THE FUCK OUT!!!

There is a HUUUGE difference between having your Siri/Alexa/Google have a certain accent because you think it sounds cool/nice/interesting, versus thinking it sounds FUNNY.

This comment comes off as “oh stupid Korean girl can’t speak English well haha”, and far too many people in this thread are saying you’re getting hurt over nothing??

Naahhhhh. Yall sound uneducated and ignorant as fuck. Confront your “friend” and kindly ask her to elaborate and let her know that those kinds of comments come off ignorant, and makes it seem like she thinks your accent is “funny”.

If she doubles down, drop that hoe.

[u/PlayingGrabAss → u/Simply_witchy]

Yeah, "because it's funny" is... at BEST, such bad phrasing that she should be pretty mortified/apologetic. There is a .001% chance that she was trying to express that it being something different made it more engaging in a way she hadn't put thought into. But even at that... I dunno. Gross. She just sounds dumb no matter how you slice it.

I have my Siri set to an accent because I think it sounds better/the disruptions that make it seem weird and robotic are less less noticeable to me when it isn't speaking in my native accent/speech patterns. The closest it comes to "funny" is when it calls the parking lot the car park, and I absolutely stand by the fact that car park sounds like a dog park but for cars.

If one of my Indian friends asked me why Siri has a different accent, I can't imagine my response being like "looooool funny accent!!" What the fuck dude.

[u/pr3ttyhatemachine → u/PlayingGrabAss]

do you have the Indian Siri too? I honestly find it so comforting, his voice is really soft and polite compared to the other options lol

[u/sososonia → u/PlayingGrabAss]

bruh i have my siri set to a gender neutral "accent" (more like voice) bc it's hot 😭 why are these people choosing to be racist and express their racism in everythingggg

[u/Numerous_Text2514 → u/Simply_witchy]

Right? Let me put it into words everyone can understand: You, a white American from rural Louisiana, move abroad to the UK for a job that you take in London. You join a fitness club and make a new friend, Gemma. Gemma seems super nice and pleasant, and you are enjoying her company. One day, you two go out to lunch. She pulls out her phone and asks her virtual assistant a question. It responds back in a thick Cajun accent. You are very surprised. You ask your friend about it. She says "oh, I just thought it was a funny voice."

[u/MedicatedChaos → u/Simply_witchy]

Seriously. Tell her it bothers you and if she does anything other than profusely apologize cut her out of your life. That’s dead weight and it’s a good thing you find out sooner rather than later. You deserve better OP!

[u/daytime_nightime → u/Simply_witchy]

Drop. That. Hoe.

[u/OkWriting179]

as a woman of color i can tell this subreddit is white af because my first thought was that she’s white and you’re not, and there is an obvious racial dynamic at play. obviously you wouldn’t be upset about her siri having a british accent 😭

[u/AutisticTumourGirl → u/OkWriting179]

And she didn't say "because I like it" or "it sounds nice" when asked why she had it set to that, but "it's funny." That's beyond clearly fucked up.

[u/LadyInCrimson → u/AutisticTumourGirl]

This "because its funny." Which tells me shes making fun of OP behind her back

[u/keIIzzz → u/AutisticTumourGirl]

Agreed, I remember when I was younger having mine set to an Australian accent just because I liked the accent (although I don’t have it as that anymore), but setting it to another accent and saying it’s “funny” is clearly making fun of the accent

[u/randombarbs → u/AutisticTumourGirl]

right!?

[u/JoeBethersontonFargo → u/OkWriting179]

Yep. My thought too, and I’m white. Maybe some of these commenters don’t spend time around different kinds of people or live in diverse cities. I immediately understood it was racist.

[u/grrlplz → u/JoeBethersontonFargo]

also white and same

[u/Limp_Leg7129 → u/JoeBethersontonFargo]

i’m white and that was also my immediate thought. i think it’s pretty obvious… i’m not sure how other people wouldn’t understand unless they’re also racist and don’t see a problem with it.

[u/Fleetdancer → u/OkWriting179]

As a white lady who doesn't have her head up her own ass I thought exactly the same.

[u/egomadee → u/OkWriting179]

Bingo.

[u/404-memory → u/OkWriting179]

Exactly this. I don’t understand the ignorance though. It’s clear racism.

[u/Aggravating_Baker557 → u/OkWriting179]

Right! Seriously. These comments are not fun.

[u/sososonia → u/OkWriting179]

isn't much of reddit yt? kinda makes sense

edited to add: and to those who downplay it bc "it's like laughing at a british accent"...laughing at an ethnic accent (korean, indian, etc) vs an accent that is more so considered a nationalistic accent (british, australian, american) are totally different contexts and this is definitely a racial moment

[u/GreenVermicelliNoods → u/OkWriting179]

Agree 100%

[u/MedicatedChaos → u/[deleted]]

That’s a super racist thing you said there whilst telling the girlies to wake up. You probably wanna rub the sleepers out of your own eyes first babes.

[u/Life_Technology7584 → u/OkWriting179]

YES! Mine is a male British man I call Rupert who gives me directions because I find it enjoyable. 

Choices…. And OP friend made a really really fucked up choice. 

[u/404-memory]

The people who don’t find an issue with a white woman thinking an Asian accent is “funny” are really outing themselves in the comments.

[u/Intrepid_Buy_6657]

…”because it’s funny”? Absolutely not. I am so sorry but she doesn’t seem like a good friend.

[u/sososonia → u/Intrepid_Buy_6657]

tbh not like a friend at all but a hater

[u/Reesirie]

This is crazy. Who even thinks to do this???

[u/fullmoonlune → u/Reesirie]

My mom for some reason has her Siri set to an Indian accent (we are white) just because she loves the way it sounds. Idk if it’s wrong or not but it sounds really strange giving her directions in the car

[u/Big_Code_7838 → u/fullmoonlune]

There's a difference between thinking an accent is cool and wanting to hear it all the time and thinking it's funny and are making a joke of it. Is your mom making fun of it?

[u/fullmoonlune → u/Big_Code_7838]

No but other people make fun of her for it because it’s kind of strange. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen someone watch her ask Siri a question and hear the Indian accent without making a comment or joke

[u/crescentmoonrol → u/fullmoonlune]

I think people's first thought would be racism because it often times is, but I totally get her. I once listened to an author read there own book and they had a really soft voice with a thick Manderin accent I thought it sounded so comforting and pretty and I could understand them fine. I would definitely set my phone to that if it didn't appear racist to others

[u/inky_fox → u/fullmoonlune]

I also have mine set to an Indian accent because I just think it sounds so good. I don’t think anyone else has heard my Siri though so I haven’t considered it could be poor taste. It’s just my favorite accent to hear.

[u/dustpiebunny → u/Reesirie]

Friend probably thinks she's qUiRkY

[u/NunjaBiznes → u/Reesirie]

I’ve only known people to switch to British or Australian accents. It does seem weird (racist) to switch it to a person of color or another language’s accent as a white person.

[u/PlaneReputation6744 → u/NunjaBiznes]

What is the difference? I agree, but I can't figure out if there's a valid reason to feel that way or if the internet has just taught me to be offended...

[u/NunjaBiznes → u/PlaneReputation6744]

To me it gives the vibes of white person making fun of a person who speaks English as a second language. That seems mean and like they’re making fun of the accent. I mean switching to British or Australian is still laughing at the accent but since it’s the same language it’s less punching down and feels a little more of an even fight. Idk if that makes sense, I had a hard time articulating it.

[u/PlaneReputation6744 → u/NunjaBiznes]

It does actually, thanks

[u/Jblank86]

There’s nothing “funny” about that. She’s mean and childish af!!! Don’t listen to these WW. You’re right to feel uncomfortable and bothered. I’m sorry that she even thinks that this is ok. It takes so much effort to do, she really sounds like an a$$hole to do something like that.

[u/maryneedswifi]

Woah I am so shocked after reading the other comments. To me, this rubs me the wrong way as white people using black emojis. What’s the joke? Someone said what’s funny is the fact that the phone was talking……… so why did she have to change the accent in order to then find it funny? Does she laugh when Siri goes off on other people’s phones?

[u/Entire-Reindeer-8520 → u/maryneedswifi]

fr!! like no it’s weird af

[u/odysseyjones → u/maryneedswifi]

This!!!!!

[u/GreenVermicelliNoods]

This feels off. And I’m saying this as someone who has their Siri set to an Australian accent (I just like it better than the American English one).

[u/Calm-Illustrator5334 → u/GreenVermicelliNoods]

hey me too. im also korean american and this is very weird of her friend.

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/GreenVermicelliNoods]

I have the Irish man as my Siri! He sounds cute 😅

This is definitely a backhanded thing from this girl though, it feels icky OP because it was!!

[u/JoeBethersontonFargo → u/GreenVermicelliNoods]

I have mine set to an Australian accent too, because it’s so attractive sounding, like melodic and comforting. Maybe it reminds me of Steve Irwin. Not because it’s funny. But this is just so weird, and to not explain further to your Korean friend is like she doesn’t care that it’s being taken that way.

[u/CarefreeCaos-76299 → u/GreenVermicelliNoods]

i have my set to a british accent because it like the way it pronounces certian words and says stuff like, 'carpark'. its kinda sexy too, and ive now mentally personified my car siri as being a cute british man hehe. but OP's friend is such a weirdo

[u/Disastrous_Day860]

I’m genuinely baffled that some people don’t see why that’s obnoxious and kinda mean. 

[u/AgreeableCorner5883]

Some of yall are not passing the vibe check💀

Op you're justified, she is a weirdo!

[u/Aggravating_Baker557]

As I understand from your comments, OP you are Korean with a Korean accent. Your friend is not Korean.

Essentially, what is “funny” is your accent. I would say it was nothing if your friend said it was endearing or made them think of you or even that they loved your accent and wanted to have a reminder.

“Funny” makes it weird. “Funny” makes it feel insulting. “Funny” is not at all funny.

This is what people mean when they say “micro-aggression.” People around you, much like a slew of the people commenting here, will gaslight you or minimize your feelings, because they want you to “get over it” or “it’s not that bad” or “it’s flattering” or a million other reasons to make you feel like the problem lies with you.

It’s not funny. It makes you feel weird at best and terrible at worst. She couldn’t explain it, because to her it’s “funny,” but really it’s not.

[u/Right_Way6065]

Wait why is suddenly everyone in this subreddit ignorant as they are pale😭 coming from someone who experiences racism clear as day still(I had a cato’s cashier literally racially profile me and my friends this MONDAY.). I literally cannot imagine in any other reality where having an Asian accent on a phone WOULDN’T be racist- especially if they found it “funny”. It def feels like a micro-aggression and it irritates me how white people will go on here telling us we’re overreacting bc they don’t possess the ability to also notice microaggressions bc they NEVER had to. Don’t pmo💔

[u/sososonia → u/Right_Way6065]

ignorant as they are pale is killing me 🤣

[u/batrickstump]

Micro agression. The secret killer of POC.

I was made fun of as a kid for having a FOB accent despite being American born and not even able to speak any of my parents languages??? The most I have is a lisp. Just ask her if your accent is funny to her. If she scrambles for an answer instead of like "I think its a cool accent" then you know

[u/maryneedswifi]

A LOT OF Y’ALL WHITE WOMEN/FOLKS NEED TO READ WHITE FRAGILITY AND IT SHOWSSSSS!!! LMFAO

[u/No_Half_3572]

“she said she'd change it but we were in a rush and she couldnt.” So she knew it was wrong/racist? That’s what I’m gathering from this. It sounds like even though you’ve never observed your friend being openly racist in your presence before, she in fact, is. I would be scared to stick around and find out what else is “funny” to her.

[u/wanderrslut]

Yeaaaaaah, as a girlie who's half Korean myself, that's weird af. You have every right to be bothered over that. People don't understand how harmful it is. My grandmother didn't speak for years despite knowing English because someone made fun of her accent so bad it made her cry.

That's not okay at all and I'm sorry, OP.

[u/sososonia → u/wanderrslut]

aww poor grandma :( i hope she started speaking english again!! she's way better than all these racists who can only speak one language

[u/egomadee]

I’m just gonna be blunt: this sub is filled with white women (and white-adjacent women) who are going to cape for each other and be dismissive to how you’re feeling. They’re going to behave in a way that maintains the status quo because ultimately, they are oppressors too 🤷🏾‍♀️

With that said, your friend is being micro aggressive towards you. You’re right to feel weird because it is weird. Your friend is mocking you and the worst part is you were never meant to find out. It was some weird ass inside joke she had with herself about you.

As a child of immigrants, I do not play about mocking “accents” or the way people talk.

[u/JoeBethersontonFargo → u/egomadee]

Yep. Even if it’s not about the status quo, they’re gonna get defensive because they don’t want to challenge their own behaviors and thinking. They might really believe they want equality, but will still think it’s okay to make fun of people for cultural differences. Some people just will not accept that they are part of the problem, they just want to see themselves as good.

[u/Otherwise-Desk-5390]

Weird as fuck what’s funny about it.

[u/Entire-Reindeer-8520]

i knew reading this it was clearly an english as a second language accent then i saw your comment. that’s weird i get why you’re offended

[u/Dragonsong21]

Definitely get more info from her! I have an Indian accent and live in the US, and if a friend programmed Siri to speak in an Indian accent because it was funny, I’d be a little upset

[u/Entire-Reindeer-8520 → u/Dragonsong21]

she’s korean this very much feels like it’s funny because they speak english “”””poorly””””

[u/maryneedswifi → u/Dragonsong21]

Thisssssssss!

[u/PublicOk8065]

That is cruel and don't let others minimize it, listen to your gut. I'm Indian Canadian and if a white friend put their Siri on an Indian accent because they thought it was funny, I would be offended for my relatives who have a similar accent and live in India. Accents are evidence of knowing more than one language. They are proof my ancestors know more than monolingual North American English speakers who can't broaden their worldview. There is nothing funny about that, nor should one feel ashamed of having an accent. This friend is insulting something that's a core part of your identity (being Korean), and you have the right to feel hurt. If you share how you felt hurt and she doesn't respond with compassion, I suggest distancing yourself from this friend.

[u/sailormermaidmars]

mmmmmm there’s nothing funny about this and I don’t think that person is your friend.

[u/Loose-Chemical-4982]

She thinks your accent is funny? Fuck that! That is shitty and absolutely racist. I would not continue to be friends with someone like that.

[u/blondie956]

My late husband was Korean and I have a Korean MIL with a heavy accent. This is a micro aggression and friends do not do this.

If she’s doing this with you, she’s doing much worse when you are not around.

[u/halster123]

is it a common accent, like British?

[u/suzyyyybae → u/halster123]

Korean

[u/RinkiMink → u/suzyyyybae]

Nah, that's weird. Idk why everyone is being so dismissive. As a fellow east asian girl living in the US, the fetishization and mockery we get is gross and minimized by so many people. I'd still talk to your friend abt it, but I can't think of a single good reason she would specifically pick a korean accent to make fun of on her phone

[u/JotunTjasse → u/RinkiMink]

Hard agree here, my bf is Indian and if someone had an Indian accent on their AI assistant because they thought it was funny it would be really off-putting.

[u/ishouldliveinNaCl → u/RinkiMink]

For me when I replied I thought it was like a British accent and a lot of Americans do set their stuff to that. A korean one is weirder and it means she's really into kpop prob if it's not a malicious thing and that's awkward to me anyway.

[u/Dragonsong21 → u/suzyyyybae]

That makes it all the more worse

[u/Argon847 → u/suzyyyybae]

As as Asian American, hell no. I assume your friend isn't Asian? Because that's fucked.

[u/suzyyyybae → u/Argon847]

nope, shes white

[u/__ohno_notagain__ → u/suzyyyybae]

I’m sorry OP, she is not a friend. It’s especially worse that her response was that it’s funny. You deserve better. You also don’t owe her an explanation or any more of your time to explain it to her.

[u/RunWithBluntScissors → u/suzyyyybae]

Yeah I was willing to give your friend the benefit of the doubt, but hearing that she’s a white girl setting a Korean accent, that bothers me too. (I’m half Asian half white)

[u/zzglow → u/suzyyyybae]

ohhh nah, “it’s funny” ?!????

EXCUSE ME?? 🤨

[u/maryneedswifi → u/Argon847]

You are one of the only other people on this thread right now that I agree with!!!!!!! Like that’s so clearly not okay???? Because why is a Korean accent funnyyyy????? I feel crazy because everyone of commenting it’s not a big deal but I have a feeling those comments are all written by white women.

[u/StarryEyedSparkle → u/suzyyyybae]

Sorry, but that is weird and a micro aggression esp as it’s coming from a white “friend.”

[u/Positive_Type → u/suzyyyybae]

Oh God 😬

[u/halster123 → u/suzyyyybae]

is she like, into kpop or something? i didnt know korean accent was even a setting

[u/Secure_Course_3879 → u/suzyyyybae]

Oh holy shit no. Your friend is rude as hell for this.

[u/sorta_distorded → u/suzyyyybae]

Ok . yeah thats not ok

[u/404-memory → u/suzyyyybae]

is your friend korean? I feel like there is a racist undertone in her actions.

[u/BlueArya → u/suzyyyybae]

Oh fuck no I would dump that bitch

[u/upsidedown-funnel → u/suzyyyybae]

If she was recently in Korea, I could see why. But I doubt this is the case. (My stbx has a very heavy brogue, he has to use the British siri on his phone so it will understand his accent). Even then, your friend doesn’t have an accent, so this wouldn’t even make sense there.

[u/riseandrise → u/suzyyyybae]

Was the voice male or female? If male, my guess is she’s into kpop/kdramas and thinks it’s sexy but was too embarrassed to say that.

[u/AlrisVoyager → u/suzyyyybae]

Korean isn’t really one of those accents that people take the piss out of (at least here in the uk) is she just a koreaboo or smth? It’s probably not about you ngl 😅

[u/Entire-Reindeer-8520 → u/AlrisVoyager]

im not trying to be nasty to you or make the op feel bad but people absolutely make fun of asian people speaking english

[u/suzyyyybae → u/AlrisVoyager]

afaik she isnt into any korean entertainment and when i asked her, she said "i just think its funny"

[u/BayouFantome → u/suzyyyybae]

You should’ve asked her what’s funny about it, because that’s what pushes this into offensive territory imo.

[u/Mammoth_Tusk90 → u/suzyyyybae]

Yikes OP. Sorry that was so disrespectful to you.

[u/maryneedswifi → u/suzyyyybae]

You have every right to be uncomfortable Queen. And should be!!??!!!

[u/AlrisVoyager → u/suzyyyybae]

Does she act like a shit friend in other ways? I’m also Asian and on its own this wouldn’t bother me but if it was in addition to other behaviour I’d probably be pissed

[u/suzyyyybae → u/AlrisVoyager]

i have a few other issues with her but this is the first time its been about my race/accent

[u/AssociateTop1589 → u/suzyyyybae]

Yeah no it’s weird asf, it seems like she’s trying to take the piss out of your voice

[u/fokkoooff → u/AlrisVoyager]

The general racist asshole is too dumb to differentiate between different Asian accents.

[u/charm59801 → u/halster123]

Came to ask similarly. Gemini has a bunch of different voices to choose from and I definitely chose the British lady for my Android Auto. I think the accent does matter in this context

[u/Keroppi_Troublemaker]

You have every right to be bothered. Funny? WTF!

[u/EngineeringAntique]

I clearly can’t comment on her intent but she needs to address the elephant in the room. The impact is that it makes you uncomfortable and it looks really sus unless (even regardless if) she has an actual reason.

My mom (Midwest American) has her Siri set to an Australian Male accent. She claims the American accents sound too demanding or robotic. I think she just likes listening to Australian men, but that’s neither here nor there.

[u/seacreaturestuff → u/EngineeringAntique]

Mine is an Australian woman. I just like it. I also like having to speak with an Australian accent to get her to understand me. What can I say, it’s just one of those small pleasures, and let’s be real, these days we need to get them where we can 🤷‍♀️

[u/Solid_Difference7670]

The comments on this post are so weird. It’s odd that your friend has her phone set to an East Asian voice because it’s “funny”. You’re valid in being bothered and I hope she changes it

[u/didneypurnsess]

not here for the palm people defending this behavior

I didn't even finish reading your post and said to myself, "that's bc this woman thinks BIPOC are lesser than her"

for a white person to purposely choose an accent like this says so much about them, it's a microaggression end of discussion, this is ingrained white supremacy in action

that girl is not your friend

[u/Relevant_Look_7188]

Not a good friend

[u/magicalglrl]

I’d distance myself from that friend immediately. That’s weirdo behavior and definitely feels like a microaggression. I’m sorry, OP

[u/Ouch-slag]

If she just had the accent set to a Korean one it wouldn’t mean anything but she OUTRIGHT side it was because it was FUNNY. Wtf man.

If you happen to like a voice sure, use it. That’s cool. But if you’re using it to take the piss out of how certain people sound that’s weird af 

[u/JapanCamp]

I'm a white woman who lived in Japan and learned Japanese (barely) and if I had a Japanese friend that did that, I would be devastated. Learning a new language is so hard already and trying to get your accent close to native is near impossible. Just being able to function in your new language is an amazing accomplishment. Aside from the racist undertones, I think most people have no idea how difficult it is to fit in while living in a new country. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I'd definitely dump that person right away. She is not someone you can trust and will continue to disrespect you.

[u/bridge_girl]

ITT: non-minorities telling minorities to get over themselves because microaggressions aren't real and everything is a joke.

[u/JenninMiami]

Honestly, I don’t think I could continue a friendship who thought being Korean was “funny.” What the fuck?!

[u/ConditionBasic]

Girl :( I'm korean too and you just made me remember how a mean classmate said to me "do you even speak english" in 5th grade because of my accent. And how 11-year old me tried so hard to get an American accent because of that.

Hugs 🫂 it wasn't okay then and it's not okay now

[u/sososonia → u/ConditionBasic]

:(

[u/StarryEyedSparkle]

You’re Korean, friend is white … and she set her “assistant” to a Korean accent. This is not just weird, this is a micro aggression. Folks need to stop excusing these as “small slights.”

Microaggression: a subtle, everyday verbal, nonverbal, or environmental slight, snub, or insult—whether intentional or unconscious—that communicates a hostile, derogatory, or negative attitude toward a member of a marginalized group

Your “friend” sets her assistant to the exact specific accent you have, so saying y’all should be in-service. Even more offensive that she did it as a joke, and was dismissive of you.

Please don’t be friends with people who think less of you just because of your ethnicity.

[u/shortmumof2]

She said she thought it was funny to use that voice, that implies she thinks your accent is funny and that’s insulting. She said she’d change it because she knows it was insulting/inappropriate

[u/melaninspice]

She thought it was funny?! Your friend is racist and you need to cut ties with her. It’s a big deal. (Please ignore those who think it’s not). Being friends with racist people can put you in danger.

[u/Calm-Illustrator5334]

no really. what’s funny about it?

[u/ishouldliveinNaCl]

Maybe she felt awkward since it was your accent, and was worried you'd think it was personal/about you. I don't know what your accent is, but I do know I often set my Siri type things to British because the accent is very pleasant to listen to and I had a project manager when I was like 20 at my first job who sounded super can do and I've always associated the accent with can do energy since then lol

Edit: apparently it's a Korean one which IMO is a lot weirder since she's saying it's funny how they mispronounce shit. At best it's a k-drama/kpop stan, at worst it's racist, so my answer changed a lot because of that.

[u/toomany_geese]

Nah that's weird asf. What is your relationship dynamic like? Do you find yourself the more meek one, afraid to make waves?

[u/blessings-of-rathma]

A lot of people are saying "bothered by nothing" but there's context we need like your race/culture and hers. I'm a white American woman and if I set my phone to sound like, I dunno, Eddie Murphy there might be some uncomfortable race implications.

[u/Calm-Illustrator5334]

I need this sub to get itself together. “nbd” and “overreacting” and “but british siri!” the majority of poc here are saying this is WEIRD AS HELL, and a lot of white women are saying it’s nothing to get upset about. Listen when poc have something to say. poc know microaggressions when we encounter them. stop discounting our experiences.

[u/JoeBethersontonFargo → u/Calm-Illustrator5334]

Like, if it’s no big deal, then the friend can change it with no problem. If it’s no big deal to the white friend, and is clearly a big deal to POC, then the white friend should have just learned something new today and grew as a person. If you’re white, you’re not gonna understand every single way you’ve been ignorant or insulting, so just open your ears and close your mouth. This is more directed to the sub than OP’s friend- like people are telling you that as the one on that POC side of it, it’s not okay. I don’t understand why people think they know better about other’s experience.

[u/maryneedswifi]

Definitely covert racism. I know those words may be hard to hear since I have found myself in similar situations and always want to believe my “friend” isn’t one of those kinds of people but…. They always were in the end. I’m sorry we have to deal with shitty situations like this. Signed, another femme person of color ): 🩷

[u/zzglow → u/maryneedswifi]

same. i was so slow to accept it that i didn’t fully realize so many of my white “friends” and even their family, co-workers, and the like, were being covertly racists to me. at the time i’d just think “what a strange thing to do/say” and go about my day.

years later i am now like OH…that was racism all along.

[u/lunalacera]

“Because it’s funny” hmmmm.. maybe I’m a certified overthinker but is she implying that your accent is funny?

[u/nudezumi]

it’s one thing if it sounded pleasant or cool, but saying it was funny to her is so disrespectful omfg

[u/Expert-Welder-2407]

Racist and rude AF. What a dumb ass bitch she is.

[u/eaternallyhungry]

Fuck that bitch.

[u/Remarkable_Olive1169]

holy macroaggression

[u/nononomayoo]

This makes me think of white ppl who use the darkest skin tone on emojis. Just racist and weird as fuck. I would not be friends with this person.

[u/Aprildiamonds123]

My heart would drop. I can imagine exactly what this would feel like. “It’s funny”? That’s insane. I’ve stopped talking to people for less

[u/beetattoo]

OP, you are not overreacting. It's not funny and it's racist as fuck. Also, these comments are embarrassing.

[u/Alarmed_Owl_1728]

Just be direct and take the next smallest step, ask the question you’re scared to ask: “You said you found it funny. Do you think my accent is funny?” Then see what she says back. Give her a chance to explain herself before you make an assumption. It’ll be better for your anxiety and clearer communication

[u/hotchocolatecore]

With the extra info from your comments that she is white and you are Korean I think it's absolutely weird of her to call it "funny." I would tell her how you feel, and that it seems racist. I bet she will apologize if she's not racist, and argue about how it's "just funny" or something if she is. I think your comments provided important context and the people answering that you are overreacting are wrong.

[u/SolidDandylion]

because it was funny !? 

My Google assistant had an Indian accent because I think it's a really beautiful accent and it made me like my assistant more... anyway Google got rid of her 😭

But because it's funny!? That's so disrespectful 

[u/jenvrl]

First of all, all the white girlies in the comments need to sit this one out. Second, it is not only weird, IT IS offensive. She thinks your accent is funny because it sounds different and you probably struggle with words sometimes, and she probably doesn't think too much of it, like some of the commenters here.

I would address it directly with her, because what a weird person.

[u/Smooth_Development48]

The problem isn't that she has that accent on her phone. The issue is that when asked why she said that it's because she thought the accent was funny, knowing full well it's similar to your accent. That's when the red flag goes up. She didn't say, Oh I have it because I like the accent. No, she thought it was funny. No friend would do or say that. Makes me think that she makes fun of your accent when you're not around and thinks it's just fine to do.

Also don't try to lose your accent just because people around you are weirdos. I think Korean accents are really nice, right up there with British and New Zealanders. Don't let anyone make you feel less than or strange.

[u/PM_ME__UR__FANTASIES]

That’s weird and rude and gross. Sorry your friend is casually racist. I hope she grows from this.

[u/4447774447]

That gives me the ick

[u/AmoebaBoy89]

I have an accent, I live in America, and I have actively tried not to lose it. It’s a part of my identity, and I couldn’t be proud of not sounding like an American with a vocal fry. Please keep your accent; you don’t have to downgrade yourself to be accepted. Cuz otherwise you attract assholes like this person in your story. They were never really your friend to begin with.

[u/Blluetiful]

It's weird that's even an option to me. I wonder if other languages have accented versions of their assistants. Not regional dialectical accents like english/aussie/etc.

[u/evenmore08]

That’s a textbook micro aggression. That’s not a friend

[u/Chemical_Nerve_2699]

That’s such a bizarre response to an honest question, you should’ve kept pressing “no really, tell me what’s humorous about it?”

Sorry girl, but you’ve been disrespected and that’s not your friend!

[u/fiftyleven_]

Yeah I had a white friend who made her emoji skin color the darkest one. It made me uncomfortable and one of the many reasons we’re not close anymore. Just social media mutuals atp

[u/LyriumLychee]

Nah nah nah nope noooopee not ok!! And then covering her ass with the “it’s just a joke” bs?! Super offensive and just weird. Then she doubled down on the dumbassery instead of just being like “damn I never thought about how that would make you feel. My bad I’ll change it right now.”

This person is not a good friend. Some people can be obtuse and odd, this girl just sounds mean though. Who else thinks a voice is funny other than when they are trying to mock it?

[u/2020grilledcheese]

This bitch isn’t your friend.

[u/wamariegi]

“Because it’s funny” awww HELL no.

[u/Goldie3768]

Yeah the “funny” bit is weird.
I change mine often because I enjoy hearing different accents.
I’ve never thought “oh how silly harty har har”

[u/Lala5789880]

What about a Korean accent is “funny” to your friend? So she makes fun of it? Ew

[u/Pretend-Efficiency44]

How is an accent funny? That's disrespectful, i think since you never had any incounters with her being recist I do recommend talking to her about it, her reaction to that talk you will know if you can maintain a friendship or not!

[u/Right-Space5730]

She's racist, I'm so sorry. 

[u/username4comments]

Funny?? Wow. Rude and inappropriate at minimum.

[u/Sea_Judgment_12]

why was she using her phone assistant out loud around you? like do you think she did it just for you to hear it? Also to say that it's "funny" is weird either way....

[u/Bao-Babe]

Good god, she thinks the accent sounds funny?! Eww gross racist mean and also fucked up. If you aren't already, maybe reconsider your friendship with this person.

[u/Difficult_Basket9797]

That’s not a friend. Stop trying to change yourself to please “American” people.

[u/supavillan]

Hearing your phone talk in an accent is funny because it's a phone it shouldn't have an accent you talking in a accent isn't funny because you are a human and were born somewhere and developed an accent

[u/blessings-of-rathma → u/supavillan]

Everybody has an accent. The default voice on the phone does have an accent. If it's your own accent you don't recognize it as one. But even if you're from someplace like... Indiana, where they claim they have the blandest most accentless voice in the world, if you went to England or something they'd be able to tell you weren't from there. That's an accent.

[u/Silly-Event-2757 → u/supavillan]

Idk I'm American and have heard apps talking to me in a British accent fairly often. Its never been funny. Just an accent.

[u/SageKitty100]

I don't think it's inherently offensive except that she said it was funny, implying that your accent is funny. I can understand why that feels hurtful and you should tell her so

[u/cocosai]

I thought this would be cute like “oh I missed you” or something but I fear your friend is at best just insensitive asf or could be erring on the side of racism or classism.

Not to go full woke in here but why specifically your accent for a personal assistant. Does she see you as the maid or the help? Especially if you guys are from different economic classes or racial backgrounds. It’s very weird to me

[u/jenvrl → u/[deleted]]

And I think the white girlies in the comments need to sit this one out.

[u/bibopskiwop → u/[deleted]]

She’s really not. Viewing an accent as “funny” and something to laugh at is ignorant.

[u/Efficient-Sundae2215 → u/[deleted]]

An award for this comment is crazy 💖

[u/Calm-Illustrator5334 → u/[deleted]]

her friend said she thinks the accent is funny…that’s what we call a microaggression

[u/phthalo_angora → u/[deleted]]

“I’m gonna undermine your experience because it would never happen to me” 🩷

[u/skelezombie]

Yeahhh.. Funny is not it. Like, I have my phone set to a southern American man's voice. Not because it's funny, but because I find it charming and really enjoy hearing it. I am pretty sure that's a far cry from it being a funny accent. That's a shit answer from a friend.

[u/marshmallowmoonchild]

I set my Siri to Irish bc it was lovely, my friend set hers to British Siri bc he says her name right. I don’t think you’re overreacting, being told your accent is funny isn’t exactly nice and a friend just finding the way you talk “funny” can hurt. If she turned it that way because you were close and it reminded her of you when you weren’t near I would be a little more like engh maybe it’s nice but being told “it’s funny” feels off