I’m actually doing it. I’m leaving. HBD to me

[u/SideQuestingSiren]

Chicken parm, bucatini and white wine because it’s a comfort food for me and it’s the best I can do to celebrate my bday.

⚠️TW:DV⚠️

I posted here last week about how my husband abused me after a drunken argument. A lot of you mentioned how dangerous all he has done to me is and how much I normalized it, so I finally told my family. They weren’t very supportive at first. Many said it wasn’t that big of a deal or that they didn’t want to get in the middle of things since “we’re married and probably going to make up anyway”. But I realized I was terrified of dying at his hands and no one would notice or care. All I have wanted for a very long time is to be happy, healthy, and safe (and it’s come to my attention this is the bare minimum). So I kept pushing the issue and I finally did it. I finally got someone to understand my fear and help me. A family member agreed to let me stay with them, made a gfm to help with moving/court costs, I’m applying for childcare subsidies, I’m looking into help securing an apartment of my own, and I honestly wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the reality check you guys gave me. I’m still very much so lost and scared. But I’m so happy that I can start to work towards better. Or at the very least just breathe. Thanks so much for being realistic with me and supportive during this difficult transition. Any advice or tips during this time are welcomed and appreciated (I’m now a single mom/DV survivor in my mid 20s and don’t have much guidance/people to turn to). I have no clue what the future holds right now but I feel like this is a win (or at least a step in the right direction) so I shall continue to rest and eat but I shall also drink my wine and try to be merry. Happy birthday to the little girl in me who needed the reminder that we deserve better.

[u/Daffodils28]

Happy Birthday!

Happy new life!

[u/ParticularCrafty8489]

I wish you the happiest of birthdays and the first of many amazing ones 🎂 i cant offer advice but here if you ever need someone just to talk to,feel free to drop me a DM

[u/Rebellem54]

You are on your path to your future. It's not filled with the pain any longer. Please be careful. This is still the Dangerous time.

[u/MessFinancial4728 → u/Rebellem54]

This!!!

[u/Padrestavern]

[u/ijustlovebobbybones]

Happy birthday, indeed!! Enjoy 💛💛💛

[u/surgical-panic]

Happy birthday. So proud of you

[u/LogSlow2418 → u/surgical-panic]

Have you connected with DV resources yet? If not call the national hotline or your local hotline so they can help you get help and keep you safe.

I’m so proud of you for leaving! Happy Birthday!

[u/RuggedHangnail]

My advice is to trust the family who are helpful and supportive and not the ones who seem to enable your abuse. You would not have married an abusive man had that not been "normal" to you and modeled to you somehow. So, know that you should trust yourself, your gut and the people here to be wiser than the family you grew up in, if your family thinks it's ok to stay with an abuser.

Happy birthday to you!

[u/iconocrastinaor]

Very careful, this can be a dangerous time. Abusers can turn violent when rejected. Work with the police if necessary, especially if he has access to guns. Make sure that people are around you at all times. If possible put physical distance between you and him.

[u/BFstickeronacadillac]

Never forget you’re a badass!! You did it!

[u/EgonOnTheJob]

Happy birthday matey! This is the best and most loving present you could have given yourself. I’m so glad you got to this point. Onwards, upwards, lighter and brighter ❤️

[u/PricklyPearPig]

Happy Birthday to you! You’re so brave to leave, this internet stranger is so proud of you. I hope your meal was amazing!

Separation from an abuser is usually very difficult, especially with a child involved BUT you can do it and it will be the best thing you can do for you and your son. He’d likely bounce around from love bombing, gaslighting and being nasty. Keep recordings of everything. Get a good lawyer, a good therapist, and support system. Slowly everything will fall into place and the days will get easier.

You got this! 💕

[u/lololy3]

Happy Birthday, girl🥳💐🎉And happy freedom from abuse. Use all the resources in your community available; food pantries, legal help, shelter help if you need it. I am so sorry your birth family is unsupportive. Stay safe, queen.

[u/ScheanaShaylover]

I’ve been where you are. You CAN do this. If you ever need a friendly ear feel free to dm me. HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🩷

[u/BDazzle126]

Happy birthday! So glad you got out of that horrible situation :)

[u/Wonder_WomanUnderoos]

Happy birthday, babe. I gave myself the same gift this year, and lemme tell you.

Best gift ever. ❤️❤️

[u/MessFinancial4728]

Happy Birthday!!! 🎂🥳🎉 I'm glad you chose to leave domestic violence is no joke be careful and take time to heal, and process it.

[u/sbinjax]

It *is* a win! Good for you! You're a brave woman.

[u/lyderbug28]

You are so very brave, so strong, and have so much to be proud of! This will be your last birthday in a trench as deep and dark as this, you are a powerful and amazing woman and I'm praying and wishing for such a peaceful and joyful life to come for you and your baby. 🖤🖤🖤

[u/alexiaocean]

Happy Birthday! I’m so sorry your family reacted that way, that is such a damaging thing to do, to normalize it. I am so very proud of you, and excited, because your life is about to show you just how much better it can be. Just know that if it gets hard, even though you’ve decided, that is completely moral and there’s nothing wrong with you. But definitely stick to it, and then come back here in a few months to a year to tell us how much better your life is. 💜🫂

[u/BadgerBeauty80]

Happy Birthday & good luck! Be sure to get ahold of all of your documents (birth cert, social security card, passport, etc.) well before your departure. I’m glad to hear a family member is stepping up & giving you a safe place to land temporarily. Keep that bit of info to yourself & them, nobody else. Abusers will manipulate others into sharing where you are & will come after you angry and hurt. You’ve got this! Your future is so bright & peaceful.

[u/star-67]

Good job 🙌🙌

[u/demeterLX]

happy birthday, here’s to your freedom and safety henceforth - you’ve got this <3

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[u/CuriousMindedAA]

I am so very proud of you! You’re a badass who now knows to take care of herself and the unacceptable behavior that she will no longer tolerate 🥰. Happy Birthday!! This one you’ll remember as the year you took back your own life!

[u/Educational-Bear3889]

Proud of you girl! I read your previous post and it made me cry. I am sooo glad you got support and a wake up call from Reddit!

Take care of your safety, statically, the period right before or after leaving an abusive partner can be the most dangerous. Make sure you have people around you, he doesn't know your whereabouts and any legitimate government support is involved. Big hug stay safe ❤️

[u/jessradio01]

Happy birthday, girlfriend! Hold your damn head high! And PLEASE, PLEASE be careful 💕