I lost my future overnight

[u/Dandanaynay]

At the age of 37 I got engaged to the love of my life. He was kind, patient, reassuring my biggest fan and my best friend.
We met 7 years ago due to a glitch on tinder, we both set the app on local and yet we somehow matched.
At first we remained friends since non of us wanted a long distance relationship but over time we decided to try it.
We lived thousands km away from each other. It was very tough, we tried to meet at least three-four times either visiting each other or meeting on a midway country.
Eventually he finally managed to visit me first and a year later I visited him and we lived together for half a year when by the end of the visit he proposed to me and promised that it would be the last time we’re going to separate.
That was back in May this year.
Since then we were preparing to get married and planning on moving in together and have kids which in turn prompted us to do thorough health check since we’re in our late 30’s which at the moment I’m almost done with.
We video chat everyday and for the past two weeks he was having health issues, mostly with breathing and almost fainting. Last time we chatted I was insisting that he change the healthcare provider and get checked again, he assured me that he was fine and will take care of it.
Yesterday he was gone from a heart attack on the night of 20-21st of August leaving me with empty promises and all by myself.
He never smoked, rarely drank alcohol and was consistently going to the gym to lose weight.
He was my best friend and I don’t even know if anyone would love me like he did. I’m so lost.

I am with my family, my friends and his are messaging me so I’m not alone. It’s even more crushing that we had so little time together.

Chocolate, cold cuts, cheese, mango and blueberries and the keyboard he got me.

[u/CSILalaAnn]

I am so sorry. If it matters, his promises weren't empty. I am sure he meant them and if he were still here, they would be fulfilled.

Edit: Thank you for the awards!! 🥰

[u/Dandanaynay → u/CSILalaAnn]

Absolutely. He was doing his best but now his words sound like echo

[u/CaterpillarLongBoi → u/Dandanaynay]

You may feel anger at him for leaving you (I know he didn’t but it can FEEL that way), just know that’s a normal part of grief and your feelings aren’t wrong. Your feelings will change and fluctuate, all you can do is ride them out and lean on your support system.