The stupidest fucking thing my brother ever did

[u/Aiglamene9]

was die two years ago. Just absolutely fucked. He was in his early thirties. He had his entire life ahead of him. His daughter was six months old. He was fitter than I am, funny and mean and smart

What do you mean I have to face the continual rising tide of fascism without him sending me a meme of Elon Musk wearing a cowboy hat backward on fb messenger at 1 AM

Who is going to make my birthday cake every year for the rest of my life

Who is going to drive me to the airport

Who is going to tell our dad that he can’t do the shit he keeps trying to do like he’s 35 instead of 75

Who’s going to question why I didn’t just do it his better way instead of being a bitch about it

Who’s going to keep my ass humble

It’s just so stupid. So unbelievably dumb. I can’t believe I’m going to have to live the rest of my life without him and get to see his daughter grow up when he won’t and not even get to eat a meal he cooked ever again or quote The Simpsons with him or take a selfie or help him move or all the other million little tiny things we were supposed to do for the next sixty years.

Philadelphia and sweet potato rolls.

[u/IHaveNoEgrets]

I feel you. One of my oldest, closest friends died on my birthday. Dude, seriously? Of all days?

He'd have been a real relief in the current political climate. A good soul and a real character.

[u/milliemallow → u/IHaveNoEgrets]

On your birthday?!? Straight to jail.

[u/FindingPurpose96 → u/milliemallow]

Believe it or not? JAIL.

[u/NerdyWaffles → u/IHaveNoEgrets]

My sister died a couple weeks before my birthday (rude) and our idiot brother skipped her funeral but decided that my birthday was the only possible day to go to the on-site funeral office at the cemetery to pick out her headstone, and he demanded i accompany him. I got to watch him blubber and ignore my objections to most of his “design choices” while also watching the bitch in charge upsell the fuck out of things. I put my foot down on a couple things (she loved her rottie and the director chick said that if we didn’t have a pic, we could us clip art, except the ONLY clip art of a dog was a lab. She said close enough, I almost belted her in the chops) but to this day we still absolutely loathe the shitty gravestone he picked out. He went with the most heinously ugly clip art of a horse (another of her passions). And then at the end, they handed us a folder with a “How did we do?? Give us five stars on Yelp!!” Card inside. Happy forking birthday

[u/milliemallow → u/NerdyWaffles]

Not the clip art headstone. 🤣😭

[u/NerdyWaffles → u/milliemallow]

This is by far the ugliest headstone I’ve ever seen. We have never ever called her Our Angel, my idiot brother can’t even SPELL angel. Also WTF is the horse???? At least it’s not clip art of a yellow lab?

ETA: our oldest sister died in 2003 and her grave is right next to this one. It’s light gray and beautiful, a quote from her poetry and a picture of the Mormon temple (she was Mormon) and my folks had ONE request: match them in size and color. Yall. I had to talk him out of buying one almost twice this size but it’s still like seven inches bigger and looks nothing like older sister’s.

[u/milliemallow → u/NerdyWaffles]

He… tried… right..

[u/NerdyWaffles → u/milliemallow]

Not even a little. And that thing cost him like…four grand

[u/milliemallow → u/NerdyWaffles]

[u/BigAchooo → u/NerdyWaffles]

I need to know who put him in charge of acquiring the headstone cuz he does not sound very reliable😭

[u/NerdyWaffles → u/BigAchooo]

He absolutely insisted. My folks tried so hard to talk him out of it but beyond just being an idiot, he is the most stubborn and defiant idiot on the planet. The stonecutter across the street quoted me at 750 for the perfect headstone, but he had no interest in it because I picked it.

[u/BigAchooo → u/NerdyWaffles]

Yeah I’ve got a brother like that, they’re hard bloody work😭

[u/NerdyWaffles → u/BigAchooo]

Agreed. I exclusively call him “my idiot brother,” right to his face when he’s around, partially because it’s true and partially because our other brother is a doctor. Gotta clarify which bro I mean. The doc or the idiot

[u/Practical_Maximum_29 → u/NerdyWaffles]

This is why I've pre-paid all my funeral expenses. Mostly to save my kid the hassle when the time comes. There's too many emotions and people who prey on the vulnerabilities of a grieving person.
The other reason is - and this is probably 90% of it - once we're gone we have no control over what the living end up doing with us.

I told my kid I'd love a Viking funeral. I think my ghost would find it hilarious watching everyone try to coordinate something like that, and he who has the last laugh gets the best laugh! lol
And I'll probably need a good laugh in the afterlife!
I've been witness to enough scenes of the deceased's wishes being completely ignored by their survivors though, so, I don't really hold too much weight on it all coming to the perfect plan. They'll be in control, I'll be dead, with my energy hopefully roaming around for the next whatever.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Telecaster-Firefly → u/milliemallow]

My sister cam thiiiiis close to getting a daschund in a chef's hat on her stone.

[u/honeybeebandit → u/IHaveNoEgrets]

My dad died on my brothers birthday on 4/20, real pos

[u/Ok-Jackfruit-9393 → u/honeybeebandit]

My dad died on my nephew's birthday and we didn't try to LIE about it but kind of tried to avoid telling him which day he died on (my sister told her kids the following day since he died late at night). It was a gut punch when he put it together and realized. Also ... rude of him to do that.

I also have a friend whose mom died on 9/11 (yes, the actual 9/11), which also happens to be the friend's birthday. Which she no longer celebrates.

[u/Wooden-Sun-8497 → u/honeybeebandit]

My mom died on Mother's Day

[u/BigAchooo → u/honeybeebandit]

Yo but your brother got a cool birthday so it’s alright

[u/walkerjacque → u/honeybeebandit]

My grandma died on july 4th, my mom died on my niece.s birthday and we told her it was the next day since it was the middle of the night and the the best death date and winner?

My dad, he died on my birthday nov 18th, only my 2 sisters decided not to tell me he died until dec 16th and therefore i missed the funeral, getting any momentos etc.. and i didn.t actually find out which day he died until dec 24th when a friend of mine was finally able to locate an obituary on him.

[u/Beneficial_Mouse4869 → u/IHaveNoEgrets]

I swear the assholes choose specific dates. My dad, my wife and a good friend all died in November. At this point my friend group has decided to just veto the entire month since wtf

[u/GlitterEnema → u/IHaveNoEgrets]

My bestie pulled a Nicholas sparks and died on her 3rd wedding anniversary, which is also a week after my birthday. It’s dumb af.

[u/madame-maitre-d → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Practical_Maximum_29 → u/IHaveNoEgrets]

Losing loved ones around birthdays or holidays/special dates is brutal.
I stopped having my birthday for a little bit in my 30s.
My Babi (grandma in english) died a day before my birthday.
My BF died the day after.
My other good friend died about a week after.
My aunt died the week of. Her sister -my mom, died the day after my daughter's birthday. My bio-dad died on Mothers Day. My daughter's dad died on Christmas Day.
My birthday felt doomed for the longest time with too many deaths surrounding it. Then I realized I'm still alive and went back to celebrating being able to honour my lost loved ones by enjoying life still on their behalf!

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