New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

[u/ArcherVisible5866]

[u/Ecstatic_Meeting_894]

Hot take- people DO understand the point. They just don’t care. Many many people are out there who hear, “kids have bodily autonomy and deserve to practice consent and boundaries,” and get FURIOUS at the idea that they will not be able to hug and kiss the children in their family because they believe their request for affection (from family specifically) is more important than what kids want. They do not view children as small humans, they view children as a separate entity undeserving of boundaries, autonomy, etc. Many people who believe kids HAVE to give hugs are also the people who still think hitting kids is ok, that kids don’t need mental health services, that don’t empower kids with the tools to report abuse from other adults. The venn diagram is more often than not a circle

[u/notnatasharostova → u/Ecstatic_Meeting_894]

Threads about child sexual abuse are invariably filled with people chest-thumping about how eager they are to see pedophiles physically harmed or killed. Yet threads about consent education and bodily autonomy are filled with ridicule. It is saddening how much more eager we are to performatively punish abuse after the fact than we are to protect children from it in the first place.

[u/PessimiStick → u/notnatasharostova]

Those tend to be the same people. They are gung-ho about punishing pedophiles because they want to hurt people, not because of any sense of justice. Those people also tend to be incredibly self-centered, so the child's feelings mean nothing. If they want a hug, they get a hug.

[u/Fun-Proposal5391 → u/PessimiStick]

Yes, it's an excuse to make threats of violence. Which they are likely to also do to people they hold power over, such as children.

[u/Fun-Proposal5391 → u/notnatasharostova]

And they don't tend to follow through in real situations in practice. They are just pretending to think harming kids is bad when it's distant, while being passionate supporters of all common scenarios and anything that happens near them.

[u/Imjusthonest2024 → u/notnatasharostova]

This has nothing to do with sexual abuse. In fact, the people I see with this sort of "consent" talk are projecting their own trauma into the situation.

[u/notnatasharostova → u/Imjusthonest2024]

It has everything to do with sexual abuse, because children are significantly less likely to be sexually abused when they are taught that they are allowed to assert their own boundaries and refuse unwanted touch, especially against loved ones (who are statistically the most likely to perpetrate sexual abuse against them). The dynamic created by telling a child they do not have rights over their own body is precisely what predators seek out to keep their victims silent.

[u/megadori → u/Ecstatic_Meeting_894]

This is absolutely it, they are people who think others should not have to give consent but they should automatically be entitled to affection/gratification. And they are angry at parents supporting children's right to autonomy, because teaching children it's ok to say no leads to adults refusing to be abused. 

[u/silly-gaijin → u/Ecstatic_Meeting_894]

Is this a thing? I'm old and have a lot of friends. No one has ever said that grannie wanting a hug was something they thought or cared about.

Is this an autism thing? Is reddit an autism app?

This is just not s thing. Maybe for a subset of the population, but normal healthy people don't consider this an issue.

[u/Fun-Proposal5391 → u/silly-gaijin]

There's a tiny minority of people who think consent matters in real situations in practice, and they are more likely to be open about it online, where there's less risk of negative interpersonal consequences. Getting caught thinking consent matters in real life often leads to aggressive behaviour from people who oppose consent, and being removed from groups.

[u/Ecstatic_Meeting_894 → u/silly-gaijin]

I mean not wanting to be touched can be a sign of autism, sure. But granny wanting a hug is not an issue, that’s true. Parents/granny guilting the kid into giving the hug anyway after the kid says “no,” “ew,” “I don’t wanna,” IS absolutely a problem, and is extremely common. Kids being taught that they can’t say no to adults asking for affection, unshockingly, leads to kids thinking they can’t say no to adults asking for affection. This makes them easier to abuse sexually and physically for any adults around them who are aware that the child is not comfortable or empowered to say no. I unfortunately have personally met multiple teens who were sexually abused children taught by the adult who abused them that you, “don’t say no to family.” A father, a grandfather, and a mother all told these kids that this was just how family showed affection, and you don’t refuse affection from family. See how slippery of a slope it becomes for kids who don’t know any better?