New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

[u/ArcherVisible5866]

[u/littlemonsterlove]

Teaching kids early on to hug adults even if they don’t want to is bad and since I was a kid myself I felt that way. I hated it.

Adults who do that miss the faces, miss the kids being uncomfortable, and don’t see their kids as actual people.

“You’ll hurt Grandma’s feelings!” Ok and it’ll upset me to do it. Why does grandma’s feelings matter more than mine?

Imo it teaches kids to get use to unwanted touch. “No means no, unless this adult says they want you to.” Confusing messages there.

[u/FantasticFoxFriend → u/littlemonsterlove]

Or "No means no, unless it's family" which is a horrible message.

[u/VeryBerryBluu → u/FantasticFoxFriend]

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

[u/nahog99 → u/FantasticFoxFriend]

People also need to tell their kids what is acceptable and not acceptable. Don’t beat around the bush and explain to them what 100% unacceptable touching is.

[u/OnTheDoss → u/littlemonsterlove]

My son is very affectionate and would happily give a hug to a stranger in most circumstances if prompted but my niece is the opposite. Since she was a baby she has never liked hugs and I caught myself once telling her that I was sad she didn’t hug me. Thankfully I realised what I was saying at the time and immediately told her that it was ok and she never has to hug me or anyone else. It was a learning moment for me.

[u/Murky-Relation481 → u/littlemonsterlove]

I remember when my best friends daughters were younger and their mom would always say "give Murky a hug" when I was leaving after visiting and if they hesitated I'd always say "you don't have to hug anyone if you don't want" (which pissed the mom off but my friend was also trying to teach his girls). I don't even know why I needed hugs, around that age I was over there almost every other weekend hanging out, so it wasn't like the kids weren't going to see me for a long time.

Anyway, both the girls never really hug me when visiting (I mean they are 14 and 17 now so they don't really hug anyone lol). But there was one time when the younger one got into a disagreement with her younger brother and her brother punched her in the face (she was like 11 and he was 8 or 9). The girl was crying and bawling and she went to her mom and her mom said "well you know how he gets, you shouldn't have provoked him" (the disagreement was doing something at her parents request, and he didn't want it to happen). I overheard this and told my friend and we both sat down with her and told her that her mother was wrong, that getting hit is never acceptable and it wasn't her fault (and some reminders that if he does hit her, she is bigger than him). Basically making sure she didn't take some horrible victim blaming mentality to heart from her mom (her mom really sucks, I can't stress that enough).

I left later that evening and the girls were in their room when I left, so I just yelled bye to them and walked out the front. I was about halfway to my car when the younger one came bounding out of the house and just ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug and told me thanks. That hug was special, not forced.

[u/Fun-Proposal5391 → u/littlemonsterlove]

It's not particularly confusing, it's telling the kid that they don't really mean "no means no", not completely submitting to the hierarchy will be punished, and that their family do not value their needs. That's the point.

[u/nahog99 → u/littlemonsterlove]

The guilt tripping is bad, but overall kids receiving hugs and other forms of affection is a good thing for their upbringing. Like imagine a kid growing up in a family that was completely against physical touch. That kid would grow up to be SO fucked up.