r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/ArcherVisible5866 • 4h ago

Video New controversial Ad in Ireland about consent

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u/work_work-work 4h ago

It's better that it's aunt Patty. Women always think their hugs are welcome - they aren't!

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u/velofille 4h ago

Yeh i agree with this, i absoliutely hated that growing up

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u/Max-Phallus 3h ago

It's not exactly traumatic though getting a hug from an aunt when you didn't want to.

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u/theatermouse 3h ago

It can be, especially for autistic people or those with other sensory issues, or someone who has had their consent violated in more serious ways, or...

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u/velofille 2h ago

You realize not just hugs right? Also it's setting kids up to accept forced intimacy as normal

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u/therealjchrist 3h ago

Everyone in the comments here acting like receiving harmless acts of affection from family is an offensive violation.

Lost the fuckin plot we have.

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u/Adventurous-Web-412 3h ago

Yeah idk it seems like an odd one. And frankly I feel its a good thing that someone has to receive harmless acts of affection. Its like take it to the same degree, when yer parents have whoever the fuck over, and called you out to go greet them and say hello, is this also problematic? I am not sure, but I feel like all these things help build better social kids.

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u/Jekmander 3h ago

If you two can't understand how teaching children that certain people are entitled to their bodies could cause problems, then I feel for your children.

The video isn't saying affection is a problem, it's saying consent is important. You wouldn't hug or kiss a woman if she said she didn't want it (I hope), so why is it any different for a child?

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u/Adventurous-Web-412 3h ago

I would not hug or kiss a woman if they directly say it yes, but this is not the same scenario and swapping it feels rather bad faith.

Like a hug in this scenario is the same as a handshake. Yeah you could say "I don't want to handshake" but its just odd, its a short conventioned greeting, and saying "your consent is all that matters" feels very shortsighted for the development of a child. It is not a blanket rule, and parents should be able to understand when their child has sensory issues or what have you, but at the end of the day its an enormously aggressive line to draw.

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u/Jekmander 3h ago

Man, if a kid says they don't want to be touched, don't fucking touch them. They have all the same rights you do, and they're not obligated to explain themselves. You are the reason they're running these ads lmfao

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u/Adventurous-Web-412 2h ago

Where was I saying that you should still touch a child if they say no. Also stop with the fucking ad hominems holy shit, I swear every single time with these comments there is no argument its just a weird absolutist position physical contact and then trying to hint at "oh you don't care about consent" whenever someone points out anything.

Yes you can say no to a hug, yes you can say no to a handshake, its just fucking bizarre. Its a enormously harmless greeting convention, and this isn't with a stranger its with your grandparents. Given how 1. kids need physical touch to develop and 2. kids need to be socialised and learn to put up with being mildly uncomfortable, drawing some enormous line where if the kid just doesn't want to have a hug because children infamously are awkward and shy is silly. A parents job is to make their children functioning members of societies, part of that is socialising which includes forcing them to do things that they find awkward.

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u/actuallyacatmow 2h ago edited 2h ago

You're making an absolutist position yourself though.

You're assuming that all these interactions are completely harmless 100% of the time, its always just awkward children who just need nudges into social interaction, the grandparents are perfectly nice people and that there isn't an issue with certain relatives forcing children to physically interact with them.

You know sometimes, family members can be weird with lingering hugs. Children can be given bad messages from parents when they're told to just be quiet and deal with the 30 second hug from a drunk uncle.

The ad is targeting that. It's not saying we need to shouldn't nudge kids into social interaction when they need it.

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u/Jekmander 2h ago

I apologize for my rudeness. I'm going to explain my full thought process with the belief that you're arguing in good faith (I did not believe so before, as few people on here ever are. My apologies again) and ask that you do the same.

To begin with, I agree with you that kids need to face some degree of discomfort and awkwardness for the sake of their development. I understand the need for social interaction, even when they'd prefer to be solitary. However, I don't feel that there should ever be a situation where any child (or adult, for that matter) should feel compelled to allow another person to touch them despite being uncomfortable. In a world where damn near every woman you ask has a story of sexual harassment or assault, it's important that we teach our children about the importance of consent and bodily autonomy. Especially considering a large portion of (reported) sexual crimes are committed by family members, that emphasis on consent and bodily autonomy is just as important when dealing with family, if not moreso.

Conditioning children to allow physical contact that they're uncomfortable with as long as it's a family member or person of authority is just a recipe for disaster. If/when a creep comes around, their desires are far easier to achieve if the child is already complacent to discomfort. Bodily autonomy is not, and should never be, a conditional right influenced by who is asking to violate it.

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u/therealjchrist 1h ago

Lost. The. Plot.

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u/obi_one_jabroni 3h ago

When you realize that most of Reddit is chronically online and hates going outside, or have any human contact, it makes sense. The extent of human connection is bitching with people online. That’s the way the votes go here, but is not representative of the general public’s feelings but it’s just a Reddit thing

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u/therealjchrist 1h ago edited 1h ago

It's pathetic self aggrandizing nonsense for the sake of woke internet points instead of common sense. I don't understand how they don't see that.

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u/Appropriate-Weird492 2h ago

Aunt Patty can also be a creeper.

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u/B35TR3GARD5 3h ago

Speak for yourself… I’m 100% green lit for hugs from strangers; an authentic hug can change the day

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u/theatermouse 3h ago

THAT IS THE POINT. You can say yes to hugs, they can say no to hugs. Consent is LITERALLY allowing everyone to speak for themselves.

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u/work_work-work 2h ago

I am speaking for myself! 🙄

And yes, a good hug can definitely change the day for the better - if it is welcome.
A hug can also ruin the day if it isn't.