I had my cat put down today and I feel incredibly guilty and regretful.
She was 16, diabetic, and had terrible arthritis. She couldn't walk steadily and when she got up from laying down she would wobble and slip. She would stare at walls and become non-responsive to my calls. She stopped using the litter box 95% of the time. She didn't clean herself, her fur would be matted from food and cat litter, even with my assistance. She ate decently, but sometimes didn't want it, she drank a bit more frequently than she ate. She lost a considerable amount of weight since the beginning of the year.
But on the other side, she was loving and happy. She greeted me at the door most days. She meowed for my attention. She loved being brushed despite the fact that it was like raking against bones. She loves me and I love her.
People have been telling me that what I did was right, that she was suffering. But today was a good day for her, health wise, and it's hard to justify what I did when she seemed so okay.
My therapist told me that it was good because "Her last day was a good day."
Is the guilt and regret normal? I wanted nothing more than to change my mind and take her home. When it was final, all I wanted to do was hit the undo button. But it's my selfishness that wanted that. Logically I know she was suffering, her quality of life was low. But emotionally I keep thinking that maybe it wasn't her time, maybe she wasn't ready.
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u/dashkb 4h ago
I’ve been there. My kitty cuddled on his last day… we knew he was in heart failure but struggle with the same questions.
His sister is sick now and I hate not knowing which cuddle is the last one.
It sucks. I’m sorry.