r/BoyDinnerDiaries • u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar • Sep 05 '26
No Advice - Everyones Welcome She has 5 kids
A homeboy is trying to hook me up with his sister, but she has 5 kids.
She's really pretty. She has her head screwed on straight. She's funny, and fun to be around. I could see myself with her specifically, but her kids not so much. I went to high school with one of her baby daddies. Dont see myself dealing with him amicably over the next few years. Mostly a vent.
Dinner: ratsnake I caught in my yard and then air fried.
Dr B. and Benchmark to top it off.
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u/Gengar_Guy_17 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
Was about to comment "bros about to eat a snake" as a joke before realizing bro is about to eat a fucking snake
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u/gonzogustav Macro Mourner Sep 05 '26
I thought it was dirty soft serve ice cream lol
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u/WannabeElantrian Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
My fat ass thought it was a cinnamon roll. I should really put on my glasses so my screen isn't blurry.
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u/edm_enjoyer Bisexual Lemon Bar Lover Sep 05 '26
I thought it was mashed potatoes.... Like squeezed out from one of those piping bags
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u/DreamPhreak Fridge Light Philosopher Sep 05 '26
I thought it was a super long roasted banana. Then I thought, no that's silly, maybe it's just an eel.
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u/h3lium-balloon Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Waiting for a post to pop up on r/girldinnerdiaries “My Brother is trying to hook me up with his friend. He seems nice, but he catches and eats snakes, is this a 🚩”
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u/TheLastPeanut_ Boy Dinner Enjoyer Sep 05 '26
He's not eating all reptiles, just the good ones
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u/cstmoore BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
No joke. I'm trying to lure ratsnakes into my yard to take care of my rat problem. (In my state it's illegal to move them. I don't know what the law says about eating them.)
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u/anonidfk Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
I only clicked the post to see what it was, thinking it looked like a snake but wasn’t actually gonna be one.
Genuinely floored it was just an actual snake lmfao
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u/KitchenHelp578 Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
I thought it was eel. Bland no-sauce eel. A diabolical way to eat eel, especially if the “muddy” flavor hasn’t been removed.
And then I read “ratsnake.”
I shouldn’t be icked because I like whole eels, but a snake… I could never 🤢
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u/CosmicTurtle24 lembas bread Sep 05 '26
I'm sorry, but you're having snake for dinner?
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u/Morpheus1967 Shower beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
That he caught. In his yard.
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u/B4S1L3US Boy Dinner Enjoyer Sep 05 '26
and fucking AIRFRIED.
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u/janiestiredshoes Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
This is the most hilarious bit. I guess this is the modern world that we live in.
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u/RudePCsb Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Bro is in boydinnerdiaries but should be in ManDinnerdiaries
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u/fatfry08 Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
Groceries are expensive. Me personally, I’d rather eat the grass in my yard but who am I?
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u/Saber_tooth81 Hungry man Sep 05 '26
And washing it down with an iced-cold can of Dr B?
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u/pumpkins21 Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
At least I know for sure that he’s in Texas 😂
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u/TankerVictorious Fridge Light Philosopher Sep 05 '26
I was thinking this has gotta be a Texas story, and the pic of Dr B confirmed it…
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u/CollectsTooMuch Hungry man Sep 05 '26
Let’s not forget the bottle of bourbon that is frosting since he recently pulled it out of the freezer.
I’m not gonna lie. I’m from Texas and I’m hillbilly as hell but i hide it from most people. When I was a kid, my brothers snd i killed a possum, cleaned it, and cooked it in a smoker. It was pretty fuckin good. I like snakes and they’re useful so I wouldn’t cook and eat a rat snake.
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u/CreepingSalt BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
Bro got to tilted he reverted back to his roots. In the wild foraging for boydinner
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u/whattaninja Leftover Lore Master Sep 05 '26
Surely that’s the type of guy to be okay with 5 kids?
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u/UniqueAd7770 Leftover lore master Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
Rattler is good eating. Especially if it tried to kill you
Edit: I was mistaken it's a RAT snake. My statement stands
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u/RelevantDress Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
I highkey miss eating fresh rattlers in washington state. They taste great and the hospitals use to pay for the venom before you ate them
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u/leeloolanding Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
hwhat??
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u/RelevantDress Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
I use to go out to the baseball fields at the edge of town or near the hiking trails and catch a few rattlers in buckets and take them to the hospital. Tried to help reduce the population around where kids would be. The hospital would milk them for the venom and Id get about $50-75 a snake from the venom then Id ask for the snakes back and Id bbq them for dinner. Sometimes they had enough venom and Id get turned away but still got dinner.
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u/Zealousideal-Lab9843 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
The hospital would milk them for the venom and Id get about $50-75 a snake
Kinda similar experience I'd get at the sperm clinic, they'd milk me and I'd get some cash.
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u/B4S1L3US Boy Dinner Enjoyer Sep 05 '26
How would a ratsnake even be capable of that? That’s like saying eating a Pidgeon that tried to kill you.
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u/UniqueAd7770 Leftover lore master Sep 05 '26
I misread. I thought it was a rattlesnake. Still good eats. And I've met some ornery pigeons.
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u/Informal_Koala1474 Fridge Light Philosopher Sep 05 '26
If a pigeon tried to kill me I might air fry it and eat it though.
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u/Regulatory_Junior Macro Mourner Sep 05 '26
I thought it was a cinnamon bun at first.
It's my fault for having eyes.
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u/Throw902106969 Snacks-a-lot Sep 05 '26
This. She has 5 kids. He eats snakes from his yard. Throw in a trailer and they're all set.
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u/merlotwiggins BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
If you’re casually having air fried backyard snake, you can handle 5 step children
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u/Morpheus1967 Shower beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Snake? And here I am thinking “well that’s an odd way for a grown man to serve himself mashed potatoes”.
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u/RealisticAnxiety4330 Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
I thought it was an undercooked churro in a spiral shape 🫣
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u/Every_Constant8349 Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
My Asian ass thought it was eel
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u/SeriouslyWTFLikeWhy Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
I was thinking that's some broke ass cinnamon bun 😭
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u/jayisanxious Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
this is the most interesting post I've seen on this sub in a while
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u/OrangeOk729 Air Fryer Aristocrat Sep 05 '26
A ratsnake grilled with a bottle of wiskey and a mom of 5 kids seems like the perfect oklahoma picture
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u/ComplexPatient4872 Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
Ummm, excuse me…. It’s air fried. Have some class
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u/Zealousideal-Lab9843 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
The air fryer is from rent-a-center.
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u/guitar_stonks Hungry man Sep 05 '26
I was guessing Texas because of the H.E.B. store brand soda. Do they have those in Oklahoma? My cousins in Dallas rave about H.E.B. but as a Floridian, I think Publix is better.
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u/crestedgeckovivi Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
Hmm with him air frying it and the Dr B I would say it's more of a Texas picture....
but perhaps they live close to the boarder of Oklahoma.
(I thought it was that one Mexican cheese in a roll thats common nowadays to find in the supermarkets here (it's like string cheese in a big roll 😆. ...and assumed Texas cause the soda)
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u/B4S1L3US Boy Dinner Enjoyer Sep 05 '26
You absolute hillbilly your dinner is WHAT??
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u/BuddyFar6682 Trans Fat Enjoyer Sep 05 '26
Bro casually dropped a pic of his little house on the prairie ass meal on the timeline 😭😭
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u/RealityKing4Hire Fridge Light Philosopher Sep 05 '26
My high ass thought it was a cinnamon roll.
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u/MrsMurphaliciouS Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
My pregnant self thought it was a cinnamon roll 🤣🤣
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u/wholesomeriots Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
>little house on the prairie ass meal
Omfg, that’s so hilarious and so accurate. Laura Ingalls Wilder would be proud
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u/Head-Grass8879 Boy Dinner Enjoyer Sep 05 '26
I thought it was a shitty funnelcake🤣🤣
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u/cakivalue Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
Me too!! I thought someone had a huge piping bag.
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u/janiestiredshoes Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
I mean... The whole post TBH.
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u/cakivalue Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
My brain and eyes were sloshing around so fast with all the different things coming out all at the same time 😭
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Rat snake
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u/Pitiful-Score-9035 Fridge Light Philosopher Sep 05 '26
It's interesting to me that normally I would be upset to see the body of a snake, but the fact that you ate it makes me not care at all. I didn't think it would be quite that clear-cut.
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u/eggz627 Gay Gourmet Sep 05 '26
Like rattle snake? Or is a rat snake another thing too? I'll fuck up some rattlesnake bites, its pretty good. I liked gator too
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u/B4S1L3US Boy Dinner Enjoyer Sep 05 '26
It’s another thing. It’s a harmless constrictor that normal people usually neither eat nor catch in their yard. It’s like catching a Pidgeon from the street to eat.
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u/sovereignrk Meatball Merovingian Sep 05 '26
"Some folk'll never eat a skunk, but then again, some folk'll"
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u/RealisticAnxiety4330 Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
Rat snake is its own thing. They're quite handy to keep around though OP thinks they make good eatin
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u/Safe-Selection8070 Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Texas knock-off Dr Pepper suggests there are no actual hills anywhere around ("hill country" is definitely a relative term).
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u/SolidusSoldier BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
Honestly, having knock-off Dr Pepper in Texas is the worst part of this post
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u/merrykeesfees Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
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u/WanderingLurker2 Protein prophet Sep 05 '26
Don’t do it.
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u/jackrabbit323 Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Yeah, agreed. Also, don't date that woman.
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u/Fucky0uthatswhy Protein prophet Sep 05 '26
13 comments- that’s how far I had to scroll to find something other than “snake….snake? SNAKE”
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u/gaidzak It's not the heat, but the humidity that gets you! Sep 05 '26
I choose you when there’s an apocalypse.
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u/Habarr94 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
No air fryers in the apocalypse tho
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u/DJDevon3 Fridge Light Philosopher Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
On today's post-apocalyptic podcast "How to make a metal fan based airfryer and nuka cola mini-fridge using basic heat exchange principles". Also in this episode "Solar powered & wood powered desalinization systems from Moria Brown's wasteland survival guide".
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u/FengSushi Hungry man Sep 05 '26
It’s the full package or nothing. Don’t let the kids down. Let her go.
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u/Fragrant-Guava-5219 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
5 kids is way too many kids. You would have to spend a large part of every day hunting the ass load of snakes it takes to feed them.
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u/elneuromancer Air Fryer Aristocrat Sep 05 '26
5 kids, multiple baby daddies, and snakes for dinner. Wow. But yea I wouldn’t date her either. 5 kids is too many.
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u/Perfect-Brain-7367 Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Think how many snakes he would have to kill to feed a family of 7. It's just not feasible.
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u/juanbonfiglio Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
It would devastate the local rat snake population! The rat population would soar. This relationship would initiate a complete ecological breakdown.
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u/MrTerrificPants Hungry man Sep 05 '26
It’s the “multiple baby daddies” thing that gets me.
OP describes this woman as “having her head on straight”.
Absent, say, being widowed, those are not the choices of a woman who has her head on straight.
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u/xepci0 Sep 05 '26
Maybe he meant "straight" as in sexual orientation because that girl definitely loves dick
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u/notarabbitisweardude Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
Yes that's what I'd be worried about. Multiple baby daddies sounds to me like a choice to not practice responsible birth control. Not a head on straight kind of trait.. he gonna be having baby #6 with her.
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u/Zealousideal-Lab9843 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
That's my take. Maybe she has her head screwed on right after the 5th kid. But come the fuck on.
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u/TheGalator Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
Imagin having 5 kids with different men and being a single mom because all of the fucking died. Still wouldn't suggest dating her but for different reasons
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u/evlhornet Grill pilled Sep 05 '26
Bro sitting down to rat snake thinking he’s too good for someone
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u/prolifezombabe Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
imagine that rat snake split seven ways ...
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u/Several_Vanilla8916 Grill Pilled Sep 05 '26
You know what they say, give 5 kids a piece of your rat snake they eat for a day. Teach 5 kids to catch and air fry their own rat snakes and they eat for a lifetime.
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u/19toofart Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
They do say this!
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u/Due-Barnacle-4200 Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
If I had an air fried rat snake for every time I’ve heard this…..
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u/Ok-Needleworker-8773 Protein Prophet Sep 05 '26
I’d rather eat the rat snake than date a woman with 5 kids
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u/Zealousideal-Lab9843 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
I for one respect man who hunts his food over paying a multi-conglomerate to abuse animals and exploit minorities for his food. Just sayin'
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u/Tyr1326 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
I dunno about too many, thats a very difficult thing to put a number to objectively... But its definitely too many for OP. You need boatloads of money for that many kids. And if you're not planning that lifestyle, its an easy skip. Especially if you dislike their father.
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u/dreamponies Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
Girl lurker from the UK and slightly horrified by the snake here. If you’re not sure, don’t go there. Apart from anything else you don’t want to damage your friendship with her brother if things don’t work.
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
True true. We won't on a lunch date a few days ago and he called me and told me he was happy I took her out.. now I don't know what to tell him
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u/dreamponies Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
If you want an out just say you think his sister is great but the chemistry wasn’t there.
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Yeah, he's a gangster ass dude. You're scared of the snake lol im low key scared of disappointing him.
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u/SquirrelLuvsChipmunk Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
Going on one date and telling him you’re not interested won’t disappoint him. Leading his sister on, potentially having kids get attached to you in the process, just to avoid potentially disappointing would disappoint him. Just something to think about. Don’t accidentally do the wrong thing in the vain attempt of doing the “right” thing
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u/stackingnoob Hungry man Sep 05 '26
I agree the time to say the chemistry isn’t there is after 1 or maybe 2 dates.
Any longer than that and OP will be accused of leading her on.
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u/dreamponies Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
My poor little innocent brain thought it was a churro or something, definitely not a snake lol. Tell your mate you respect him too much to mess his sister around when the spark isn’t there. That should keep you out of trouble.
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u/beersboobsbooks Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
it’s silly to be the type of man who will catch, skin, and air fry a snake and also be scared of your friend. he’ll understand! and you don’t have to tell him it’s because of the kids if you don’t want to, you can just say it’s not gonna work out with yall/you didn’t have romantic chemistry or whatever
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u/Twidollyn_Bowie Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
That’s…a lot of kids. Anyway, what does rat snake taste like?
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
I think most snake tastes like chicken, kinda cliche response, but still true
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u/monsieur_feu You know nothing of The Crunch. Sep 05 '26
On the chick…and the decision to catch, gut, and air fry a garden snake next time.
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u/wholesomeriots Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
If you don’t think you can do it, don’t get involved. It’s wise to acknowledge your limitations, and it’s okay if this is one. It’ll hurt way worse for everyone involved if you get emotionally invested and it doesn’t work out. It’s sweet of your friend to try to hook his sister up with a nice, well-adjusted dude, but sometimes you are looking for different things.
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Thanks homie 🫶
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u/paradajz666 Hungry man Sep 05 '26
Don’t get yourself attached, it’s going to be way worse. Just live your life and everything is going to be okay. Take care. And could you please say what is the taste of the snake? I never had one. I only had the usual (pork, chicken, beef, fish).
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u/ultimatedelman Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Girl idk if you noticed but there are much more pressing things at snake here
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u/BuddyFar6682 Trans Fat Enjoyer Sep 05 '26
This is the best response here btw! Go with this one
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u/Yorbayuul81 Shower beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Normally getting involved with a single parent of 5 kids would bring on the comments, but the rat snake dinner had me scrolling through dozens before getting to the first one 🤣
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u/Relative_Pepper6607 Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
Is your advice about the snake or the relationship? It’s hard to tell tbh
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u/pigcentralstation Protein prophet Sep 05 '26
This is the coolest shit I’ve seen on here im ngl ive got nothin
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u/brandothesavage Hungry man Sep 05 '26
Yo bro I ain't going to lie I thought that was a cinnamon roll
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u/syninmygatess Shower beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
It's the freezer cold bourbon that's really doing it for me in this one
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Ill eat yard snake before I drink warm liquor
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u/Satans-cum-sock666 Grill Pilled Sep 05 '26
I literally thought that was shit on a plate.
5 kids is a fuckin lot man. I dated a woman with one kid and that drove me crazy. I definitely know I couldn’t handle 5
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Sep 05 '26
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
1) common enough in TX. Regardless of type. First time I ate a snake, my uncle shot it's head off, skinned it and cooked it within an hour. 2) you can 100% get sick, you have to make sure it's cooked and cleaned thoroughly. Pretty much like shrimp or chicken. Organs out and washed 3) cooked right it's not so tough like it was in the air frier lol. It's more like cat fish. Tender and flakey 4) chicken. Snake tastes like chicken. 5) I would assume it's legal. Ive never ran in to any opposition cooking it 6) it's super lean and high in protein. Honestly id say very good for you. 7) ive just seen my family do it? I guess. Idk why do we eat cows? Ya know
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Sep 05 '26
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u/Yorbayuul81 Shower beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
This guy is rapidly becoming the most interesting OP I’ve encountered in quite some time
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u/Dzov Hungry man Sep 05 '26
Dude both cooks yard snake in an air fryer and has a seven point list on the health and safety of it. Really says something about preconceptions.
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u/kinda_alright Fridge Light Philosopher Sep 05 '26
Dude her other baby dad's thought the same exact thing. Just stay away from that entire situation. I ain't even going to judge you on the food. Groceries are expensive and free is free. Live your best life.
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u/Gallafraidan BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
I was going to make a joke that if you're having a snake you found for dinner you probably shouldn't be that picky in who you date, but.. Honestly it sounds like you're thinking about it the right way. Kids need adults in their life that can put a lot of effort in and parents need partners that are ok with them putting a lot of their attention and time into the kids rather than exclusively each other. First time that I think I've said this sentence, hope your yard snake dinner was good.
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u/Khristafer Gay Gourmet Sep 05 '26
You can't enter a relationship where kids are involved with any kind of resentment. The kids will feel it, even if it's not towards them. You could be a great family friend, though.
Also, yard snake for dinner? 😂 I don't know if I miss the country or if I'm glad I left ☠️
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u/Kelmorea Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
I only opened this post to see what the dinner was. It was way worse than I expected; I miss my life from 5 min ago.
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u/beneath_reality Hungry man Sep 05 '26
What does that snake taste like and how did you season it?
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
It was wayyy too tough. Salt, pepper, Sriracha. I should've cooked it in the pit. I thought id try the air fryer, won't do that again
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u/gem-walrus71 Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
If you don’t want to be a parent don’t become a step dad, for your sake and their sake! its good to know and own your own limits
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u/SentinelTitanDragon Boy Dinner Enjoyer Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
Let’s be real here. If she has 5 kids and is single she definitely does not have her head on straight. That alone is a massive red flag warning you of plenty others that could be lurking.
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u/Voldypants_420 Protein Prophet Sep 05 '26
Let me address the elephant in the room. The fuck is Dr. B? Doctor Bebber?
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u/mez151 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Sep 05 '26
OP distracted us with the snake bourbon combo and nobody wants to talk about the pretty woman with 5 kids.
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u/kiiwiilover Girl lurker Sep 05 '26
You’re eating a snake and scared of five kids??! Make that make sense
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
You're right I should air fry the kids
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u/Shadowtirs Protein prophet Sep 05 '26
She has her head on straight but she has 5 kids with multiple fathers?
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u/redhotoreos Girl Lurker Sep 05 '26
I didn’t even read the entry just completely blown away by the snake on a plate caught fresh out of the yard and thrown straight into the air fryer, I am so dead
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u/affemannen Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
I don't get what is up with all the fuzz about eating snake? i mean it's a long muscle and is perfectly fine to eat.
I much rather eat that snake than get involved with a woman with 5 kids and a bunch of different baby daddies.
Only one of these are unhealthy for you, and snakes are nutritious.
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Been trying to tell these people that the macros on snakes are actually insane
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u/kamikaze3rc Protein Prophet Sep 05 '26
Understandable you don't want to get into that. Especially if the father is somewhat present, you will most likely be always kind of just a back up.
Ps: madlad. thats some food you will never see at r/girldinnerdiaries
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u/vanoitran Shower beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
5 kids and baby daddies would be worth it if you were IN LOVE with her - but it sounds like you think she is pretty and that you two would be compatible - which is not even remotely the same thing as being in love.
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u/bigchunkbabygoo Shower Beer Scholar Sep 05 '26
Tbh I havent nitpicking it yet, but ive decided to do it on your post. I know she's not worth the the time. I asked for no advice bc like duh. Most people could get here logically. It's just more of a lament than anything
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u/PeteTownsendPT Hungry man Sep 05 '26
If you do not have the temperament to handle kids on a daily basis, that's a deal breaker my man. No matter how perfect she might seem, the kids won't go anywhere.
However, one thing stands out: 5 kids, has her head screwed on straight, more than one baby daddy? Something does not add up. Don't decide with your pubic area, that won't end well.
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u/jeophys152 Air Fryer Aristocrat Sep 05 '26
My man, I have seen freaking novels here that have less to digest (no pun intended) than what you managed to write 9 sentences. I don’t know if you are a freak’s genius or the most redneck hillbilly ever…
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u/therandom92 Air Fryer Aristocrat Sep 05 '26
Lmao. Im sorry bro but the rat snake is more than enough, let the lady go find a different dude. You aren't really ready for any of that. No offense lol
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u/pondskippers Fridge Light Philosopher Sep 05 '26
Good fuck, I can't get past the " rat snake" . At first I thought it was a name for a pastry that looked like a snake🤣

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u/trendingtattler Sep 05 '26
This submission has made /r/all!
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