r/BeAmazed • u/MissionNo001 • 14h ago

Miscellaneous / Others This absolute unit of A Sausage.

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381 Upvotes

83% Upvoted

162 comments sorted by

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93

u/brkboy1 13h ago

Its a mortadella

27

u/JJred96 13h ago

This whole post is baloney!

Not even AI could screw things up this much.

4

u/RogueBromeliad 13h ago

Yes, that meat is a farce.

1

u/sofaking39 4h ago

MALARKEY!

2

u/Bo0ombaklak 13h ago

Ella ella ey ey eh

-29

u/MissionNo001 13h ago

Isn't it like a type of sausage
A cold cut???

18

u/lovethebacon 13h ago edited 13h ago

No it is a salume - salted meat - not a sausage.

Some Italian salted meats are sausages, some are not. Salami is a sausage salume. Mortadella is a salume but not a sausage.

3

u/TerninoMarchi 13h ago

I never actually focused on the difference between the two words. Is it about the sausage being a filled intestin while not all salumi are like that?

One could say all sausages are salumi but not all salumi are sausages.

7

u/Sht_n_giglz 13h ago

I dont know, is Czechoslovak a type of Polak?

2

u/Bo0ombaklak 13h ago

Nah eh just checks the Slovak box

-17

u/MissionNo001 13h ago

I suppose so ...I don't have any idea about it.

-3

u/immamarius 13h ago

American right?

19

u/eyepoker4ever 13h ago

Where does the casing come from, elephants?

8

u/nanadoom 6h ago

Often modern sausages aren't intestines anymore. It's a collagen casing that is made out of other animal byproducts (skin, bones, hooves etc). It's more uniform and can be made to be whatever size

0

u/Chaos-Cortex 54m ago

Plastic.

90

u/asteriscosessantasei 13h ago

This is not a SAUSAGE

53

u/AcidBuuurn 13h ago

It’s a bunch of baloney. 

2

u/whatsnoo 12h ago

Isn’t this a chub?

2

u/NoMoPolenta 13h ago

Matt Khalil ahh sausage

2

u/freefrompress 13h ago

Found the italian.

4

u/asteriscosessantasei 12h ago

Actually I'm from Sardinia but, you know...

1

u/RaisonDetritus 6h ago

Mmmm, now I want pane carasau.

2

u/PhosphoFred8202 1h ago

With maggot cheese?

1

u/RaisonDetritus 1h ago

Ha, maggots are perhaps my least favorite thing in the animal kingdom, so I’ll pass on that. 😬

0

u/diracwasright 4h ago

Doesn't Sardinia belong to Italy? 🤣

2

u/asteriscosessantasei 3h ago

It's a long story.

1

u/Temporary-Truth-8041 12h ago

You're right, it's a bunch of baloney

1

u/2WheelAddiction 1h ago

That’s right… it’s a meat stick

-4

u/EarlyXplorerStuds209 13h ago

Thats true. its actually a

SAUSAGE

1

u/Legionof1 6h ago

I think OP means that it’s closer to a hotdog where it’s formed meat paste cured into a shape but no longer has a casing. 

1

u/Mieze_Designer4002 24m ago

Where do find a hot dog bun that big?

1

u/Legionof1 24m ago

Only buns that big are on your mom.

11

u/AwwwMangos 13h ago

Oh hey my wife’s work husband

189

u/TheFillth 13h ago

They need to sharpen that knife and stop using it for opening boxes and cutting food.

81

u/quest-4-answers 13h ago

Multiple knives were used in the video

33

u/freudian_nipps 12h ago

Thanks for being observant. Why is every post filled with redditors trying to do a "gotcha" or commenting a contradiction?

12

u/dirty_weka 12h ago

When all one has is bitterness and negativity inside, it can be expected to project out in what they say.

1

u/JamesBaxxterTheHorse 6h ago

Damn I didn't expect that straight of an answer but it's very true.

11

u/MOXschmelling 13h ago

No knives were harmed in the making of this video.

1

u/bryman19 55m ago

No knives were harmed during the filming of this video

1

u/onthe3rdlifealready 12h ago

Scissors, I spit on your grave!

-10

u/sonofteflon 13h ago

Way too deep with the box opening cut. They could have knicked and contaminated the product.

7

u/Acceptable-Size-2324 13h ago

r/absoluteunits

5

u/PreviouslyMannara 13h ago

It's the smaller Mortadella among the "giant" tier ranging between 80 and 350kg. Not uncommon to see in Italy, especially during festivities.

5

u/kickasstimus 13h ago

Now I get it. When a physicist says “assuming a cylindrical cow” …

9

u/Pataconeitor 13h ago

Correct me if I am wrong but isn't "mortadela bologna" like saying "chicken pork" or "macaroni spaghetti"?

8

u/stechzehni 13h ago

Bologna is a town in Italy, not a sausage. Mortadella originated in bologna.

As far as I know, the bologna sausage is an american thing, I have never seen them in Italy. Which doesn't mean much either since I don't live in Italy.

3

u/TheItalianDonkey 12h ago

Live in italy, can confirm

1

u/vranaverse 5h ago

user name checks out

2

u/weirdoldhobo1978 5h ago

American bologna is a regionalization of mortadella which was, oddly enough, created by German immigrants 

-6

u/BarryTheBystander 6h ago

Bologna is a type of sausage.

3

u/slackermannn 13h ago

AFAIK there real name is mortadella (the original being made in Bologna). I guess mortadella might be hard to pronounce for some countries and hence the different names.

2

u/B35TR3GARD5 13h ago

All I know is customers at Publix love that shit! Ha

1

u/abubalesh 12h ago

in my family (northern italy) we used in interchangeably mortadella and bologna, even if bologna is more of a variety of mortadella iirc

0

u/K-Shrizzle 13h ago

Eating chicken spaghetti with the boys

-2

u/TheManuz 13h ago

Nope, mortadella is the name of the cold cut, Bologna is the variety. Not every mortadella are Bologna, despite Americans use it as a synonym.

It's more like saying "Porto wine" or "Wagyu beef".

It would be better to say first the variety and then the name, like the examples above.

6

u/Realistic_Class768 13h ago

Has science gone too far?

3

u/metroid23 6h ago

I always think of this image when I see this type of meat

https://www.reddit.com/r/meirl/s/YpnaNnn6jR

1

u/Realistic_Class768 3h ago

Yeah I think of that one aswell haha And to be honest, this bologne does not look appetizing when it got cut😵‍💫

3

u/PreviouslyMannara 13h ago

Veroni holds the record by producing a 2680kg Mortadella.
Their regular production goes up to 350kg.

2

u/AblePhase 13h ago

This is proof there is no God

1

u/OrneryAttorney7508 13h ago

Honey, I Blew Up The Mortadella

-12

u/235iguy 13h ago

Science? You think sausages are grown in a lab?

10

u/Realistic_Class768 13h ago

Enough questions!

0

u/UrAntiChrist 13h ago

They are printed in a lab these days ;)

2

u/DaNibbles 4h ago

The song choice is... something. Pretty sure the lyrics are about the singer growing up with his father abandoning him, and he is asking a gripping and heartfelt "Where are you, dad? Why did you leave?" essentially.

What this has to do with unpacking sausage, I have no idea.

2

u/Ok_Guest_7435 13h ago

Siswet approves

3

u/Temporary-Truth-8041 13h ago edited 13h ago

That's the biggest bunch of "Baloney" I've ever seen.

1

u/RogueBromeliad 13h ago

M-m-my baloney!!

3

u/BHIngebretsen 13h ago

Anthony rolls over in his grave

2

u/Potential-Signal8111 13h ago

Idk what's the deal. Mine's bigger. Just ask my gf

1

u/Yberfall 11h ago

Everything reminds me on him

1

u/TheScientistBS3 11h ago

Interesting choice of song for the video... where are you daddy? :))

1

u/devil89_3 6h ago

I think this classifies as porn for mortadella fans.

1

u/thatdidntturnout 6h ago

Please. I’m reminded of this every time I have to use the urinal.

1

u/Whole-Attitude9766 5h ago

Anything can be used if you’re brave enough

1

u/matzohballer 5h ago

Love mortadella

1

u/SmartaHari 5h ago

Now, this is something I never thought I’d hear myself saying. But that is too much sausage.

1

u/Normal_Pace7374 5h ago

The guy she tells you not to worry about

1

u/hambone1981 5h ago

Sharpen that goddamn knife!

1

u/christihonesty 4h ago

Basically Spam then.

1

u/KudosOfTheFroond 4h ago

This is about the size of the 💩 I’m taking right now

1

u/NoFaithlessness8752 4h ago

Just the one pepperoni on my pizza please

1

u/robotbeard 4h ago

We're going to need a bigger bun.

1

u/owenxtreme2 4h ago

Let me guess costco

1

u/Serefor 3h ago

Boloni = Bologna (I think)

1

u/Healthy_Common_5567 3h ago

Is this the day when Americans will finally learn to pronounce Bologna

1

u/Antilopesburgessos 3h ago

The mother of all bombs against Iran! 😂

1

u/ZopyrionRex 2h ago

One topping pizza, comming up.

1

u/Sighconut23 53m ago

Lips and assholes

1

u/Bramtinian 35m ago

This is pretty much what I eat after I tell the doctor I’m eating less processed foods….

1

u/KyuubiKyu15 18m ago

Open wide

1

u/a1g3rn0n 15m ago

Mortadella!

1

u/StoneOkra 13h ago

Box needs a zipper

1

u/SedentorySensor77 13h ago

Literal pig in a blanket.

1

u/Traditional_Log809 13h ago

80 kg of mortadella and the guy still has to ask ‘how thin do you want it?’ That’s the real pressure.

1

u/Eddie_Honda420 13h ago

I like mortadella , 😕

1

u/YourVelourFog 13h ago

This was like when I thought it would be good to get one of those Jamon hams for a party. It was great for all of about 2 hours. Took around 8 hours to shave all the ham off and then ate it for weeks!

1

u/jspellman1120 13h ago

You should have seen the size of the cracker…they couldn’t get it through the front door!

1

u/---___-------___--- 13h ago

I have competition, it seems

1

u/rtkane 13h ago

Plot twist: These are elves opening a normal-sized Mortadella.

1

u/oldschool_potato 13h ago

We’re gonna need a bigger knife

1

u/Legitimate-Curve-346 13h ago

All that and it'd still be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway for your mother.

1

u/Katzillaswrath 12h ago

You should see the size of the bun!!

Actually, I have no idea how you eat such a thing. Do you just keep cutting into smaller chunks until they are a manageable size? What’s the point then to make it the size of a WWII bomb? Maybe that’s the point, it’s to be dropped from an airplane into remote villages, or a logging camp, because they have those long two-person saws that you really need to cut it up properly. And so I figure there must be a German word for “giant-olive-loaf-to-be-dropped-from-an-airplane-into-remote-villages-or-logging-camp-sausage”

Also, why is no one else in store impressed with this monstrosity?!?

Frau: Schau Hans, es ist ein RiesigerOlivenlaibumvoneinemFlugzeuginabgelegeneDörferoderLagerwurstzufallen, es muss Dienstag sein

Hans: Ja, natürlich, Mutti

(And I think I just broke my Google translate)

1

u/st-- 12h ago

The guy she tells me not to worry about

1

u/Furball1985 12h ago

This place should really learn how to sharpen their knives!!!!

1

u/Impotent_Gladiator 12h ago

Time to eat 8 million sandwaiches befor it expires in a month.

1

u/MrJohnnyDangerously 12h ago

Omg I was not expecting mortadella

1

u/JokesNShit 12h ago

Kim Kardashian can take it.

1

u/ryanasimov 12h ago

The cylinder must remain unharmed, and there is a non-zero chance that the casing was pierced as the box ends were cut open.

1

u/HuckleberryMajor2490 12h ago

Pistachio Mortadela

1

u/error00100100 13h ago

That is some really long pork

1

u/IameIion 13h ago

Jesus christ. They just took the entire pig and threw it in a blender.

1

u/NenoxxCraft 12h ago

Still won't make me like mortadella

0

u/Incolumis 13h ago

Yo momma's dildo just arrived😉

0

u/Fransjepansje 13h ago

Holy shit those knives are terrible. A well sharpened knive should glide through cardboard. 

-1

u/Fuzzylojak 13h ago

If you are amazed with this garbage....

0

u/PhosphoFred8202 1h ago

What’s the casing from? Elephant?

0

u/Rassvet_ververg 13h ago

"Everybody say, 'Sausage', keep it going and make it go. Sausage!"

0

u/SpaceMonkey_321 13h ago

That's a huge chunk of reconstitution

0

u/Hour_Entrepreneur502 13h ago

What are those yellow things and the black and white ones?

3

u/Simon_Tesla 13h ago

Pistachio, pepper, fat

1

u/Hour_Entrepreneur502 13h ago

Oh. Nice (?). Thanks 👌🏽

0

u/casul_noob 13h ago

Thats what she said 😏

0

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Character_Maybeh_ 13h ago

Other people’s comments?

0

u/UckerFay11 13h ago

Bourdain would be salivating.

0

u/Lucky-Vegetable-2827 13h ago

It’s not a sausage. Mortandela. The biggest that I have seen.

0

u/Independent-Dealer21 13h ago

Zero respect for that knife

-2

u/Mugno 13h ago

Americans when they read brand's name 😮

-1

u/OleDoxieDad 13h ago

I've seen this show, and inside we find it is packed with a white powder substance, the inspector tests it...positive for cocaine..

-1

u/crazedgunner 13h ago

Bro they got the fuckin glizooka. What the fuck. The MOAG, mother of all glizzys.

-6

u/bingobot580 13h ago edited 13h ago

this is basically spam, with nuts in it. same taste

it's kinda meh

1

u/RogueBromeliad 13h ago

Nah, it's cured and smoked. The texture is also completely different to spam. Because spam is cooked in a can, in a water bath.

0

u/bingobot580 13h ago

it's meat mush.

this is not a cut from an animal. it's spam

1

u/RogueBromeliad 13h ago

It's called forcemeat, not mush. And like I said, because of these way it's cooked (sometimes steamed, sometimes smoked) the texture is different to spam. And the reason is because it's cooked under tension of the casing, so it's packed much tighter than spam.