Hi

I’m not usually on here. I would normally never post to Reddit, but something beautiful just happened to me, and I think maybe someone else may find it beautiful, too.

I’m not typically a very angry person, but recently I’ve been having some fits of rage, I guess. Today it was really bad, like maybe my worst ever, and I couldn’t scream or anything, so I came here (while sobbing and periodically hitting the floorboards) to see what people might recommend to break when you’re really, really angry.

Turns out you are a very healthy community and recommend good things like identifying your anger and writing instead of hitting things, but I’m dumb so I ignored that and just cried some more mostly (you were all very right, of course- my hand hurts now)

I was sitting in the leaves outside, something I would never do regularly, but I’m really glad I did. When I came inside, walked all the way upstairs, and looked at my runny makeup in the mirror, I felt something drop on my arm- It was a ladybug.

I was totally fascinated. It’s nighttime and I was just sitting in the leaves, not laying there, so the bug would have had to crawl up my back to pull a stunt like that. In any case, it couldn’t stay inside, so I brought it out.

It wouldn’t leave my hand though! It crawled up my arm and traced the line of my tattoo. Eventually, I got it to walk off of me. It started to skitter up a little branch on this bush and I started thinking “wouldn’t it be cute if it waved at me?” You know how bugs wave- going on their hind legs and wobbling their front legs erratically- it’s adorable.

I wiggled a little peace sign at the ladybug, feeling pretty stupid, because the existence of the bug after all my anger was amazing enough- why did I need it to act like a human?

But then the craziest thing happened- it turned to me and “waved.” I know it was just looking for a branch, but there was absolutely nothing to climb on in my direction. The ladybug waved at me!

I guess it sort of reminded me to slow down a bit. I’m sorry I didn’t take your advice, but I will in the future! You have a beautiful community here- a healthy, helpful place with great people.

I hope the next time you feel angry, you see something like this, too.

Thank you!

Hello, everyone.

For the past 3 days, I’ve been feeling this absurd anger that I just can’t control. It’s getting better every day, but it’s still out of control. 3 days at this level of anger is too much.

There’s a member of my girlfriend’s family who’s a total jerk and proud of it. She criticizes everything and everyone and thinks she’s better than everyone else. She’s been acting out of character lately, she’s even seen a psychiatrist, and there’s a suspicion of ADHD or bipolar disorder. Well, I'm under the same suspicion too and that doesn’t help. Because of that everyone walks on eggshells to not upset the lady. But because of the way she’s been acting, she’s been mean, unfair, selfish, and downright despicable to one of the people I love most in the world: her sister.

I’m very family-oriented, it’s my biggest weakness. I’ve been losing it over some of her behavior, to the point where I have to walk away or take a anxiolytic so she doesn’t notice and cause even more trouble within my girlfriend’s family. It’s been hard to watch all this happen without even being able to say a word and I've also been feeling really bad because I think I'm contributing to the tension in that family.

As if that weren’t enough, I found out three days ago that she’s been spreading the image of me as a villain, as if I were to blame for her no longer being able to control her sister. That made me feel an uncontrollable rage. I spend the whole day thinking about it and letting the anger build. My stomach has been in knots, I’ve been feeling very anxious, and I’ve been having some very frightening intrusive thoughts.

I know the best thing to do is to distance myself. But there are several problems with that: I’ll stop attending various family events, it’ll raise questions, I don’t know what to say to their mother, elderly grandmother and there’s a preteen in the picture that I treat as my niece and my girlfriend is feeling desperate, not knowing what to do. My girlfriend and I live together; we want to start a family. She doesn’t want to have to spend Christmas without me or have to choose between her family and me. For example, deciding who to go on vacation with.

I’m having a really hard time controlling myself; it’s been making me sick and I’m losing sleep over it. I don’t know what to do or how to handle this.

Any suggestions are welcome.

I feel like I get annoyed and outwardly react to annoying things like the average person. What pisses me off, usually also pisses someone else off. At work for example, I huff, say a little cuss word, and maybe turn to a coworker to air out my grievances. But my internal reaction is so much stronger than that. No matter how small the annoyance, my entire chest feels it. It feels like my rib cage is being used as the firewood to roast a boulder. Just a heavy, hot weight, deep inside of my chest. My internal reaction is the same whether it’s a rude person in public or something deeply and truly personal to me. I have it controlled on the outside, but on the inside it feels so strong and profound, like I am feeling all of the anger I’ve ever felt at once. I want to know if anyone else experiences this and what you did to help ease the sensation. It just feels so outside of my control right now since it is a physical feeling for me and not an outward reaction. Anything helps. Thank you!

Over the years I have become a more frustrated person. I wish I could brush things off more easily but I just can't and it made me act in an embarrassing manner today.

I spent time eating lunch with a former coworker/friend, who has recently frustrated me with her backseat driving (I didn't put anyone in danger at all, I just had a ditzy moment with starting a car I wasn't familiar with and she kept questioning my moves like turning right after stopping at a red light, etc.)

Today, we both met up with one extra person, and as we were at the intersection where we parted ways, I noticed the drivers light was still green for a good while after the crossing light turned red. This was at a one way where there was no risk of someone turning into me as I cross, so I said out loud, "maybe I can start crossing".

A few seconds later, the light turned red so I stayed put. My former coworker said I shouldn't, and said to the other one "the light is obviously already red." Before they walked away, I couldn't hold myself back and I shouted "it was GREEN!"

I'm super embarrassed since this is the first time I outwardly snapped towards her. I just hate when people think I'm that fucking stupid but I also want to control myself so don't have outbursts like that. How do you guys manage?

But you can’t scream, because then you’re a crazy person.

I've had issues with anger for probably the past 15 years of my life. I have struggled to control it for a very long time. One of my earliest memories involving anger was when I pushed my friend because I lost at a game and he got hurt. I slam doors, I throw things, I put holes in walls, I break electronics, I yell and scream and cuss, I say horrible things and have terrifying intrusive thoughts... it's a serious problem. It's to a point where I question if it's potentially OCD. It has been getting a little better, and I can go weeks without having an angry outburst, but then something will set me off and I'll just explode. I try to calm myself down by breathing but it just feels like it's building and building the whole time until it boils over and I just HAVE to get it out. I don't know what to do to gain control of it. I've spoken about it in therapy many times but nothing ever seems to work. I've been avoiding relationships for years because I'm scared it could become a problem in a relationship in one way or another. What works for you guys?​

Have you ever been to a rage room? What made you decide to visit a rage room? What was your experience? How did you feel after the experience? Do you recommend others visit a rage room?

My husband 36M screams at me when he hits his limit 32F

TLDR: husband screams when at his limit, and I need advice

I need outside opinions that I don’t feel comfortable going to my friends for. I just got married 2 days ago…

My now-husband is amazing in so many ways, he comes from a hard background and 90% of the time is perfect. When arguments happen, is when it’s never good. He becomes easily irritated, and has a hard time putting his defenses down and understanding where I’m coming from.

For context: He screams at the top of his lungs when he reaches his limit, he also curses and can say insulting things towards me, usually “you’re f\*cking insane, you’re crazy like your mom” etc. I’m not going to act like I’ve been an angel with my words, we have grown to spar with each other, but I never scream or yell. A month ago we promised to not scream or curse, or name call anymore. My last relationship was abusive so I told him the screaming scares me even though it’s not physical.

We are supposed to drive to our Airbnb for our honeymoon today. He got a call yesterday from his job saying they’re getting acquired so he should start job searching as a backup. Today he got a separate call saying “actually the new company wants to keep you, so if you accept you will be forfeiting the time and a half and severance package.” The reason I got upset was because there’s a pattern of him forgetting to give me key details, and I had no idea he was offered severance and time and a half, he said it’s implied (maybe I’m just being dull here and that’s on me). He got irritated and said “sorry but I thought it was obvious, sure I’ll remember to tell you everything from now on.” Then everything else came after.

During the argument he screamed and p*nched his own leg. This completely set off something inside of me and I became quiet and stayed away from him for the rest of the day.

What can be done to fix his pattern? I know I’m not perfect, and I hope this post doesn’t seem like I’m trying to be.

I’m extremely impulsive I tend to act on my emotions rather than think things through and I’m easily influenced by the people and situations around me Sometimes I feel like I have no emotional control or that I’m mentally weak because it doesn’t take much for someone to get under my skin and make me react

About two years ago I got into an argument with my older brother Things escalated I got fed up and I ended up hitting him My brother is a boxer so he absolutely destroyed me in the fight But when I was on the ground I barely felt anything I had one thing on my mind him

My sister called the police and they showed up at our house I waited until my brother turned his back on me then I hit him in the kidney area with a glass bottle He went down and I was arrested and fined Eventually my brother dropped the charges but even after that I couldn't bring myself to go home I was still consumed by anger and the need to get even with him

To this day I haven't fully let it go It's been about a year and a half since I last went home My family lives in Warsaw but I'm currently living in Kraków where I rent a small apartment that I can barely afford I work to support myself but the feeling of being weak and humiliated still eats away at me

The worst part is that I still want to go back and hurt my brother I've even thought about going there at night attacking him and running away But whenever I actually consider doing it something holds me back I get scared and I honestly don't understand why Part of me wants to do it more than anything while another part of me just can't go through with it

I'm tired of living like this I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling powerless humiliated and angry at myself because I can't bring myself to do something about it I'm looking for genuine advice a book or anything that could help me look at this situation from a different perspective I want to understand why I feel this way and how to stop letting this resentment control my life

And please don't ask what started the fight The actual argument was over something stupid The real issue goes much deeper than that There's been resentment jealousy and years of built up tension between us since childhood We've both put up with each other for years and eventually everything boiled over

Also please don't tell me to work things out through my uncles or my parents My dad is dead my mom is getting older and involving her in something like this would put an enormous amount of stress on her I genuinely worry that the shock could seriously affect her health My uncles and I aren't even in contact anymore

I'm not looking for someone to tell me to forgive him or just move on I want to understand how to break free from this feeling of humiliation and helplessness without spending the rest of my life consumed by hatred and the need for revenge

I’ve been going through some bad mental health for a while now, including a lot of anger and intrusive thoughts. My wife is trying to get me to talk to someone about them, but they are so dark sometimes that I’m scared of what will happen to me if say any of them out loud. She thought I should share them with my therapist but I don’t trust him anymore. I had suicidal ideation he picked up on and pulled the admission out of me then made me do all this crap about a safety plan. How am I supposed to work on my problems when I have to constantly be afraid the person who is there to help me would report me to idk something. I haven’t and wouldn’t do anything criminal, but the thoughts are just so dark and all I want is for them to go away. I’m so tired.

I’ve been playing games my ENTIRE life, and I’ve been raging at them my entire life. Outside of video games, I’m not a very angry person but I am very sensitive and do get offended over the wrong tone from people. But I never feel so much adrenaline to the point where I’m literally tempted to just rip them to shreds. With video games? I cuss my screen out, throw my mouse around (somehow it still works and I’m hesitant to do it more.) and make a huge deal. And yes I know I know, IT’S JUST A GAME. Trust me… I know that. I’ve tried telling myself that so much. But no matter what I’m bound to get pissed off from it. I’m very tired of hearing “just stop playing!” Or “just get good idk” listen yes I can do those but I wish I was actually able to play them just normally without losing my shit 2 minutes in. It gets to the point where I scare my girlfriend sometimes (even though I don’t let it out on her or anything) and just end up embarrassing myself and sometimes making stupid impulsive decisions in the game. Please help, I just want to be normal and able to control it. Thank you.

I'm looking for ways to calm down the usual ways aren't working. I have history of losing my temper on people in bad ways, been in counseling 3 years but I'm finding it hard to talk myself through this one because of what's going on. I have convictions but I want to be different then who I was. Just looking for ways to be calm.

Yesterday while picking up my daughter from school and another student approached my daughter and I and had starting talking to her. It was completely normal at first but then this little girl tells my daughter, "I'm really sorry that Mrs. Blank is so mean to you. It always makes me really sad too cuz you're so nice to me. I'm sorry."

This teacher has been punishing my daughter by making her stand up with no chair repeatedly. My daughter is the first in her age group to start her period and start developing, totally normal in my family most of us are early bloomers but my daughter would forget to wear a pad or would start randomly which is normal. But this teacher's answer for Gabby interrupting class to go to the nurse to get a pad was to have my daughter stand in class. My daughter messed up in the computer lab thing, her answer is to make my daughter stand in class when they get back to classroom because she went into the wrong computer program and when she was told to go to the right one my daughter froze a little bit because she noticed that other kids were looking at her. Her teacher decided it was defiance and she punished her. By making her stand by her desk when they got back to the classroom from the library. Apparently, this teacher does this with all the students but it has become progressively worse with my daughter. I had no idea this was happening so when my daughter started refusing to wear her pads that she had been doing so good with over the summer... I thought she was being rebellious but actually she didn't want to wear the pads because if she thought she'd get punished for asking to go the bathroom to change it which she was. She was refused access to the bathroom unless she EXPLAINED WHY in front of the class she needed to go to the bathroom for the 3rd time that day. We have heavy flows in our family too and my baby hates the smell so she USED to change it frequently as she can use the scented ones and I can't either. Tampons freak her out because she is 11, the cup grosses her out, she likes the period panties but she still has to change them throughout the day, but for the past month and a half my little girl has been refusing to even wear the pads or panties or to even tell anyone she had started at all. These experiences began affecting my daughter at home because she wasn't sleeping well and between that and her new hormones and these very public punishments it started to really affect her and her other school work and she started falling asleep in class. I am pro-teacher so when I found out about it I was sending her to bed earlier, taking privileges, and implementing consequences and then my daughter would do better for a few days before backsliding into 'the bad behavior.' Nothing worked or worked for long, my daughter was still being sent to the office 'for refusing the instructions.' Which turns out that my daughter was refusing to be punished for needing the bathroom and she was refusing to just stand in class while everyone else got to sit down for the lesson. (The 'standing punishment' for my daughter would sometimes last through most of not all of a lesson. I know this because when I brought it up to other parents I know in the class they questioned their children about it. This punishment is used on a few of the other students but my daughter seems to go through it regularly.)

My daughter never wanted to tell me and only opened up about after her classmate/friend 'Layla' made sure to bring it up it front of me because she was embarrassed and because she didn't want me confronting her teacher in front of the whole school....there was an incident a over a year ago where her younger brother who is developmentally delayed was being bullied by another student... His teacher was a saint and a hero! But she wasn't getting any actual support at the time from anyone other than me and I shamed her boss in front of the entire student body and their parents at a school function for not doing more to assist with the problem and now I have a reputation as a smother.... That kid stole my son's glasses and hit my son in the face with them in front of everyone at that function though! Right on stage! That smother moment was justifiable! But I do have a reputation and my daughter was sure I'd make it worse.... Telling that kids mom that she's a freaking moron was apparently too far but I have no regrets..except a couple.

These are the reasons her teacher listed to the administration to explain when and why my daughter was given this punishment: Student requests bathroom breaks multiple times a day, she is disruptive and distracting to other students especially when she refuses corrective punishments and often delays in beginning her work when her corrections are over.

The incidents were that my daughter was sitting with her hand up when the class was supposed to be working individually to ask to use the bathroom. The teacher put down when questioned why she needed to leave the room to use the bathroom again my daughter refused to answer. Another time my daughter noticed her friend looking at her and she waved to her friend across the room. She was punished. She started her period in class and had to go to the nurse, when she got back she was punished for the inconvenience and forgetting to handle it before class. The computer thing. She fell asleep in class and was punished again. She was sitting with 2 other girls during a project, the 2 girls were talking to each other and my daughter laughed at something, only my daughter was punished and then sent to the office by herself when one of the girls pointed out that my daughter had not even been talking. This was told to me by 'Layla', she had been the one talking and had noticed the teacher looking at them. This teacher sent my daughter to the office 'as punishment' and then made her stand in class as soon as she got back because she needed to know that my daughter understood that she was in charge. She frequently sent her to the office and punished her as soon as she got back. Same with the nurses office because again her teacher found it distracting to the class that Gabby wasn't coming to school more prepared. I have to meet with the administration tomorrow morning over this and I already know how it's going to go. They see nothing, it's being handled, the issue is how my daughter responds, it's a perfectly acceptable form of redirect. Same thing when I pointed out that my daughter seems to be being sent to the office a lot more than she had in the 2 previous years she has been enrolled there. F#$k I'm pissed.

I have some other mental health struggles that obviously complicate things but I've been on the verge of exploding for 6 or 7 weeks now. I haven't snapped at anyone yet (thank god) but the urge to scream and insult the people around me doesn't go away. I'm so angry that it genuinely feels too big for my body. Does anyone know how to end this continuous ​tension? So far I tried exercising more, especially strength training, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, screaming into a pillow/the forest, journaling/venting and some DTB stuff.

Hello guys. So I get irritated and overwhelmed by everything so easily and I feel like I am constantly cooking inside and its unbearable and I find it very hard to deal with. Its not the kind of anger where I want to hurt people around me I often dont even get angry at people but just at like myself or situations or loud noises or when things are just irritating. Everything just feels irritating. How do you guys deal with this feeling if you relate?

hello everyone

Am 26F, For my whole life I hated people who get angry easily or lose their temper very fast. I hate them and avoid any interaction with them.

when I get into real life. it turn out to find that I myself one of those people :(

In my job I deal with many college students from ( 18-24) Y.And am shocked that I became that person you know . I have tried so much to regulate my anger and there is some students who actually like me . but this anger control occur about 40% of the situations.

I have “ stress issues” since I was almost 10 😅. I hace tried books, therapy,medications but the beat result I have reached is either being “completely dull” or “ i am ok when everything is perfect, give me one little tiny issue and I will freak out again“

I wish I was a secure, calm and easy going person. this is the persona I have always wished for . Now by ending my twenties I think I have tried it all.I started have a thought that god build some people nice, calm and secure and other are not and we have nothing to do so stop fighting with your inner soul.

any thoughts on this ? have any one changed or seen someone who really change ? Is there is a hope ?

An overdose of rage is like an illness in the sense that the more tired you are, the more likel you are to give in to it. Take me for example. Die to being tired from work, I became more irritable even though I still made sure not to lash out at anyone. I still felt like I wanted to punch the wall. But, after I got some rest, it felt like the rage just disappeared.

I just want to know what are some ways that have helped you or someone you know become less angry. I feel like I get angrily easily & it could eventually end up affecting me and my relationships around me. I do take accountability for my actions when it is my fault but I get annoyed so easily. For example, If I have to repeat myself or if someone ask me to do a favor( little things like that, that I feel I should not be bothered by) I have a bf and I get jealous easily and obv it’s not okay. I do try to let loose it not let it overcome me but my goodness I AM SO ANGRY WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't necessarily get bullied a lot in real life when I was a kid, but growing up on the internet I encountered a lot of bullies who were just sort-of better at trolling than I was at taking it, and I can remember the exact feelings of helplessness and lack of control that those experiences left me with, and how angry I'd get about them to the point where I'd wish I could find and physically harm them for how they treated me.

Flash forward to now, and as I'm older I'm realizing just how much those experiences shaped my relationship with the world. I'm extremely sensitive to power imbalances and indifference. It happens in video games, where if I'm losing repeatedly in a game, be it multiplayer or even singleplayer, I start to feel like I'm being mocked or bullied, and it sends me back to that kid in me who just wants to jump through the computer screen and rip them apart until they feel how I feel - again, this even happens in singleplayer games where there is no person on the other end to get mad at. It extends to a lot, lot more than just video games, but that's the most readily available example I bring up because it's a huge hobby in my life.

I've struggled with anger issues as far back as I can remember, specifically in situations where I feel a lack of power or control, and I'm only just coming to the realization that there might be a link to these earlier, formative experiences. But I just don't know what to do about it. How do I work past this? I hate, hate, hate the person I become when I get angry - it repulses me, it repulses people around me, and it makes me feel lesser. Any and all advice is welcome.

I think I have anger issues… well, not like I will self-harm (even tho I have thoughts like that but I don’t usually carry it through, especially not in front of my children) nor I want to hurt anyone.

But when I get angry I get loud I yell I say mean things and I have this burning fire in me like I want to burn down everything and drag the person I am fighting with into the fire with me. I don’t know how to put this fire off… usually it ends when ugly things are said and everyone was pushed to the edge, almost like at the edge of ending everything, then I would cry hysterically and felt every tension is released and I can finally be vulnerable…

I hate this pattern and I hate the way I fight… I totally know where I got it from, but I want to break free of it. I know I need to see a therapist but I can’t afford it right now.

Any anger management strategies that work for you? Please help! :)

I fucking hate what I’ve become. I’m angry all the time, bitter about everything, and so full of hatred I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I hate people, I hate what they’ve made me feel, and I hate myself for ever letting them get close enough to affect me this much.

I’m tired of carrying this fucking rage inside me. I’m tired of remembering, overthinking, resenting. I want to scream, to tear everything apart, to get this fucking anger out of my system because I genuinely cannot stand it anymore.

I miss who I was before all this. And I fucking hate everyone and everything that made me feel like being that person was a mistake.

The internet have been in its most vitriolic state since a while know and I've been trying to let go and not engage in any of it by letting go of the ragebait and hate that pops in my mind making sure my brain knows its not a problem to be solved but simply something that will pass.

But recently some part of my subconcious have been wanting to hate. Its something I tried to let go but wether I realize it or not my brain is seeking for me to waste my time on the internet making me search topics I'm very opinionated on but know will do nothing to convince the other person.

I'm almost starting to feel like there is something wrong with me but I know conciously that I can overide whatever makes me want to hate.

I hate it. My heart is pounding rightnow just because of all the anger I’m carrying. I wish people would stop being so mean and nasty. I’m gonna draw a line from now on. I will never help anyone who got their own strength again. I will keep my distance from everyone and only look after myself from now on. I don’t care. I’m never gonna be kind again