r/technology • • Sep 11 '26

Society Dating Apps Are Dying

https://time.com/article/2026/09/09/dating-apps-are-dying/
17k Upvotes

3.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

112

u/tommypatties Sep 11 '26

When I was dating I did this and it worked. Lots of dudes swiping yes and then me swiping no on them made me look like a better match so I showed up earlier on more womens' stacks. I also got to see what other dudes were putting on their profiles to help me hone my own.

I did get 'caught' once though. A girl I went out with a couple times messaged me,

her - "hey my gay friend saw your profile as he was swiping, are you bi?"

me - "haha no, I just set my profile to both men and women to boost my 'score' and show up on more womens' stacks."

her - crickets forever

oh well.

4

u/SaxRohmer Sep 11 '26

the algo punishes you for being excessively picky so rejecting a bunch of dudes isnโ€™t really going to help your score

10

u/Key-Rough-8346 Sep 11 '26

Should've just stuck with the lie. She also probably interpreted that as you just wanting more matches to sleep around, because she likely doesn't realize what dating apps are like on the male end, so she assumes you're a player without realizing that most men's profiles don't even get seen.

46

u/tommypatties Sep 11 '26

haha you think lying about my sexuality at the start of a relationship is better than admitting to gaming an algorithm?

-5

u/Key-Rough-8346 Sep 11 '26

Well, if you got a few dates with her and she felt a spark with you, she'd probably forgive you if by date 3, you went, "Hey, I just want to say that I'm not actually bi, and I only did it because if men swiped right on my profile, my profile would be shown to more women, which is how I got to meet you!" By that point, she'd be like, "Oh, well since I'm a woman it doesn't really matter if you're not bi, and I already have this connection with you, so I can forgive you for not being honest about that. At least you didn't cheat or something!" Dating is unfortunately like playing a game at the beginning, and you gotta play to win.

14

u/tommypatties Sep 11 '26

I think I understand why you're single.

-3

u/Key-Rough-8346 Sep 11 '26

Who, me? I'm not single.

2

u/scagatha Sep 11 '26

In this case I would hate the game, not the player. As a woman I think it's clever and appreciate the ingenuity. "Now that guy, he's a problem solver and a go-getter!" ๐Ÿ˜‰