That's it. Parenting is incredibly hard these days. You know how 5-year-olds are.

Thank you for listening to this public service announcement.

How’s your day going?

These freshmen are so mean. To each other. To me. So inconsiderate of anyone but themselves. So demanding. I genuinely wonder if some of them have empathy, and then I feel guilty for wondering that because they're children.

I spend 90 minutes fighting an uphill battle. I wish I had the energy or the words. I think it's fun for them. Some of my kindest most respectful students will turn on me in a heartbeat the second I make a mistake or don't give in to what they want. Not even big mistakes: they scream at me if I move on from a slide too fast. I've addressed it. There's too much behavior to address the small things; which includes being heckled all day long. The yelling, the talking over me, the blatant disrespect. They have power in numbers. They've lost the privilege of literally everything due to their destruction but somehow they still trash my room; they try to do it in secret while I'm not looking. None of them understand why they can't have special treatment and all of them continue to ask me for it. They leave food in places they know I won't immediately check. I feel like a maniac checking drawers for leftovers from lunch before I leave for the day.

I'm slowly losing my mind. They try to trick me. They make up lies about each other and waste my time. The routines help immensely but can only do so much. I just want to teach and their goal is to disrupt class.

I have 5 kids a day ask me why I don't bring them food or tell me I should; they have heard my response to this for weeks, as with everything else they continue to push about. They tell me class is boring. Over and over every day.

"Hey, do you know I don't want to be here?"

"No offense but I hate this class so fffffffffffffff-ing much-- I SAID 'F-ING"

"I don't want to be here."

"Can we do nothing?"

"Please don't make us do work."

"You always make us do stuff."

"You hate us."

"Ms. warmdemander, do you hate me? You do. I know you do. Why are you ignoring me? Ms. warmdemander says she hates me. I'm going to kms."

"I hate this."

"I hate when you make us do this."

"What time is it?"

"When is this class over?"

"You should let us do ____________! YOU NEVER LET US _______"

"Guess what? I'm going to sleep in your class later."

"You must be joking if you think I'm doing that."

"Oh my god there are 30 minutes of class left l just want to go home"

(Class-wide panic ensues because someone blurted the time which is strictly prohibited for that very reason.)

"YOU never gave me this!" (yes, I did.)

"YOU never helped me." (yes, I did.)

"I raised my hand 20 minutes ago and YOU looked straight at me and IGNORED me." (no, I didn't.)

"YOU said I could do x,y,z." (no, I didn't.)

"YOU PROMISED ME I COULD." (no, I didn't.)

We've addressed them all; a few of these phrases live on my wall with our class rules. So many teary eyes from not being allowed to do ridiculous shit. So much whining. If I address something to the whole group, students will shout: "SHE"S TALKING ABOUT ME GUYS!!!"

Somehow every assignment is way too easy but way too hard. They criticize everything. They have an excuse for everything. They pout and slam things around when they don't get their way. They throw things CONSTANTLY.

I'm very careful with the way I ask someone to stop doing something because I'm afraid 5 more people will start.

All of them will take any opportunity to do the wrong thing and it's sad. They know the rules. None of them will follow them unless I'm standing over them making them. Admin can't help, but I know they spend all day trying to deal with behaviors school-wide.

They insult me outright. Sometimes they don't even mean to, but usually they do.

Every day I leave with a heart heavy. I'm so overstimulated all day. They are helpless. They haven't seen me crack yet; somehow, I've kept it together. The gray rocking attention-seeking-behaviors all day is doing something to my soul. I'm trying so so hard not to be bothered. I dread them every night and every morning. They won't respect boundaries. I've exercised my resources. I have to get through it but I don't know how.

My co-teacher, who is also department head (and never in my class) for special services, asked me today in the middle of class, if I would consider replacing zeros for missing grades in the grade book for special education students with 50s.

The moron was dumb enough to ask this in the middle of class while I was sitting at a table group helping them with an essay.

After explaining to her how I won’t, because it violates policy and, in my opinion, looks very bad when students have grades in the gradebook but no work samples, she walked away. The student I was helping then sarcastically asked “how do I sign up for that program?”

I just rolled my eyes and kept helping the table group.

We’re not even hiding it anymore.

I resigned a few weeks into the year as a first year teacher. It was an immediate medical resignation due to an impossible class assignment. It is just now being finalized. Since I resigned right before Back to School Night, my admin asked me to wait to pack my items, let them “manage communication with parents” about me leaving (translation: not tell them I quit yet), and mentioned wanting to keep the room “cozy for the kids.” I figured sure, you can borrow my stuff for a bit while you work out a new staffing plan. They also said they wanted to wait until a Friday so it wouldn’t be a huge shock to the kids and interrupt logistics. Again, no problem.

Now that the resignation is finally processed, my principal is only giving me 45 minutes to pack and remove all of my belongings. In the middle of the week. She first asked for a list of all of my personal items so it could be packed up for me, but obviously it’s a lot and has now been mixed in with other items. I said that was OK but asked if I could come in to tag the items I would be taking midweek so they could see what they would types of storage/supplies they would need to replace… then I could pick my stuff up like on a Friday (and give them to reorganize the room before the kids returned). Apparently it’s now a HUGE inconvenience to have my stuff on-site for even 48 hours (“we don’t have room on-site to store your personal belongings”), but it was fine when it was a free lease to pretend there had been no disruption in the classroom for the parents.

Is this pretty typical? Do I have a right to get all of my belongings even if it takes more than 45 minutes? They know I quit for medical reasons and have some mobility limitations. Obviously, teachers spend tons of money and our personal time setting up public school classrooms. We buy and build furniture. We buy whole classrooms of school supplies. And we just suck it up and do it. Now I need to fill a moving van while I’m not supposed to be bending or lifting over 10 lbs. It feels like such a slap in the face.

I am a parent to a 10 and 12 year old, and I have lurked this subreddit since they were 5 and 7. Of all the parenting subreddits, forums, and social media groups I’ve come across over the years—I’ve found this specific subreddit to be one of the most informative and valuable resources to me as a parent of school age children!

One of the things I appreciate most about this subreddit, is the perspective that parents rarely get to see firsthand. Yours!

When you share the strengths, struggles, and behavioral patterns you see in your students and classrooms, I absorb it and look for ways to apply what I’ve learned here in my own home! When you vent about interactions with parents, I look in the mirror and see how I can better myself.

You all notice patterns across different students, families, and generations. You see firsthand which habits, expectations, and approaches seem to help children thrive, and which ones don’t. Sometimes it’s the smallest things you share, that end up making the biggest impression on me.

I know this subreddit is a place for teachers to vent, and be transparent with others who understand the reality of your profession. I appreciate the honesty, even when the discussions aren’t flattering toward parents. In fact, those are sometimes the conversations I learn the most from!!

So I just want to say thank you to all the educators here. Please know that your words have an impact beyond your classrooms. You may not realize it, but some of us parents are lurking, listening, learning, and taking what you share to heart!!

I accidentally said "me too" when a student told me he hates school. I need to put myself in the corner for a minute

I teach math at a Catholic school, so the students attend mass regularly. During tests, I give out peppermints to students because it’s supposed to help them concentrate. Today I gave my 6th graders a test and had a student pass out the mints. As he handed one to each student he whispered to them “the body of Christ” and I barely held it together 😂

My 6th graders are reading a historical fiction book about the Titanic and when we got to the part where the ship hits the iceberg, I played the iceberg scene from the 1997 movie. I was telling them how much research James Cameron did for the movie and was pointing out aspects of the scene that were historically accurate (the flat waveless sea, the lack of moonlight, etc.). A bunch of kids made comments along the lines of "What are you talking about, that's obviously AI."

I told them that it was not AI and that generative AI did not exist back then. I said that people have been making movies with special effects for over 100 years, whereas genAI has only been around for a few years. I still got responses of "There's no way it's possible to make a scene like that without AI."

We ended up taking a detour from the rest of the lesson while I showed them behind the scenes videos on YouTube of how the scene was filmed--basically a mix of the ship set and a giant prop iceberg, a model ship in a tank, and CGI. Then that led to a talk about the difference between AI and CGI, and CGI vs. practical effects. I showed them another video about the making of the original Godzilla movie.

I know we talk a lot about how students think they can't write a paper or do a research project without using AI, but it just breaks my heart that these kids think that humans can't even make art on their own. How many other skills and talents are these kids dismissing as impossible and not worth pursuing because they think that only a machine can do it?

My school got hit with a lawsuit last year. It didn't help that the teachers involved were morons and openly shit talked the kid involved via their district emails.

Now every single faculty meeting we get reminded how everything associated with our emails is discoverable in a lawsuit, we get occasional email reminders, and we had to sit through a 3 hr pd about how to be a professional.

It hasn't changed anything about my daily life, but I think it's interesting my school seems so scared of a lawsuit. It's not even a fear of frivolous lawsuits, just lawsuits in general.

(Sidebar: why are you a teacher if you shit talk kids? Are we not in this profession because we want to help kids learn/grow/be good people???)

I teach middle school ELA, and between all the writing my students have to do throughout our lesson, I just don’t have time to whip out an extra exit ticket at the end of class. But it’s expected for observations.

My coworkers always say exit tickets are a math thing, just curious if other subjects, especially ELA, use them.

After 20+ years I might think I have thick skin, but today I found lightly written in pencil a poll on a student desk asking if I was a good or bad teacher. The only check marks were under bad teacher.

So I’ve been an educator for close to 20 years and have had my fair share of the problem kids. Every year, they tend to put them in my class because I can handle them and they usually turn a page before the years done. They also usually become my favorite students.

For context, I teach 5th grade. This year, I have a student who has particularly gotten under my skin. This student (we will call him Carl) tends to miss days because he somehow gets put in commercials or advertisements (his “job” as he calls it.) When he finally comes back to school, he’s a complete asshole. Mind you…he takes meds for ADHD; yet mom says they’re “out.” However…when he goes to do his job, mom tells me he’s an angel. Fast forward to yesterday…finally comes back after a job. No meds. Completely disrupting my other students while we do a math lesson. Goes through my personal shit on my desk, opens drawers he’s not supposed to, does ZERO work, yet I’m supposed to “get data” on his behavior. He finally pissed me off to the point that I stopped my lesson, I told him to shut his mouth, take his stuff and leave my classroom and stay in the office for the day. Admin does NOTHING. Send him back 20 minutes later; kick him out again. The other students share my frustration and actually cheered when he left.

I’m stuck. I’m trying to build a good relationship with Carl…but he just does the same shit: day in and day out. Mom refuses to believe that her son would do such things. Admin shares my frustration as this has gone on for years. Any advice from other people out there?

UPDATE: sent an email to all admin, sped, social worker, reading and math coaches this am. All are on board for a team meeting with mom to discuss next steps. I’m not convinced it’ll work but at least the pressure will be on Mom to show her we’re tired of the shit. Will inform you next steps.

First year teaching high school after nearly five years in middle school (English). Made the mistake of thinking my juniors would be mature and responsible, and as such, I wasn’t strict enough about rules and routines at the start of the year. Noting that I have had a hard time with disrespectful students my entire career. I am soft spoken and look much younger than I really am. I try to be firm, but I’ve been told I am one of those people who doesn’t ever really sound stern.

The biggest thing for me is the phones. At the start of the year, I told them that I wasn’t going to die on the hill of confiscating them as long as they weren’t using them during instructional time or to cheat. (Rookie mistake: I know. No need to point it out to me.) I’ve been cussed out twice for asking a kid to put away their phone. One of these resulted in the kid getting their parents involved—they told their parents that I threatened to break their phone. (Fortunately, admin knew it was a crock of crud and it didn’t go anywhere.) I almost feel like the hostility and explosions from angry students (which derail the rest of the class) aren’t a battle worth fighting.

Anyway… a shot in the dark here, but tips are much appreciated.

Anyway, I fear that cracking down and being harder now won’t work.

I am definitely not eating enough and am so hungry at work all the time. What are some low-effort yet filling meal ideas that I can use to make sure I’m not dying by the end of the school day?

I'm a 6th grade Social Studies teacher, and I'm dealing with a parent who seems determined to find something wrong with everything I do.

I gave a 10-question quiz with a 13-minute time limit. Most students finished... everything on the quiz had already been taught.

I usually make detailed study guides because students can't take their textbooks home. This time, i got the guide out later than planned, on the morning of the quiz. That's on me. So I let everyone use it during the quiz.

One student didn't finish in time. Her dad emailed me questioning my teaching experience, my methods, and whether I even understand what's right for 6th graders.

I sent a polite, detailed reply. Even explained my methods, why I make the study guides, and offered his daughter a retake with more time.

Apparently, that wasn't enough.

He sent another long email picking apart my response. He even brought up how his daughter gets A's in other classes and how their family expects A's. Now he wants a meeting with my principal.

Here's what gets me. I don't even have to make study guides for every quiz or offer retakes under my usual classroom expectations. I do those things because I want my students to succeed.

I'm all for parent involvement. I'm also fine with fair criticism. But at what point does this become ridiculous?

Am I being unreasonable here? How would you handle this?

Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/1tpwaxq/was_i_too_harsh/

For those who didn't read the above link, I had a student reach out to ask how he could pass. We went back and forth a bit and I finally told him that he needed to actually complete work to pass the class for the year. Spoiler alert: He didn't, and he failed.

Fast forward to September of this year, and he emails me simply, "I won." I replied, "What did you win?" He responded, "I won, I passed." I responded that no, he did not win. He actually did fail my class. His response, "It's ok, I just went to summer school and passed." So in his mind, he "won" because he didn't have to complete my work, he had to show up in school for four weeks of his summer vacation and mark time and that was "winning".

I didn't answer him, I just left it alone. It did bring a question to mind though, is it winning because you spent some of your time, where you didn't have to be in school, in school just so you didn't have to complete my work? Why would you make that trade? Why did that make sense?

Hi!

New teacher here trying to survive conference week. I really need to laugh- what are your worst or funniest mess ups as a teacher? All stories welcome!

I thought a kid had a gum plan and asked the parents to bring some in a 504 meeting. They were taken back but didn’t care, the principal was like well.. he doesn’t have that or need it. I just sat there like :) ok never mind! I guess the kid bamboozled me.

If they notice a weakness in your knowledge, they will double down. So, right now we are reading The Outsiders, and I'll be honest, Steve Randell is a character I often forget about and under cut because he's not apart of the main cast. One of my kids noticed how I forget about Steve Randell and now he has become her favorite character just to spite me. And I'm also digging in.

A normal class discussion will be like:

Me: Ponyboy and the gang are there for each other no matter what, and sometimes Steve is there.

Student: Mister! Steve is super important, he's Sodapop's best friend, and he's angry at his dad.

Like, somehow me forgetting about Steve has made this student become an expert on his characterization in the novel.

I've been here a lot asking similar questions but honestly.. I'm just a really defeated Long Island, NY teacher. I'm in my early 30s and can barely afford it here with the rest of us.

I would love some insight from other teachers across the country. Which states are great to teach in as far as unions, benefits, retirement, things of that nature that are also affordable. I know blue states are better so "stay away from red". On the other hand, my dad plans to move to Florida and although I know it's like ranked worst in the nation or something, I have family/friends there and I'm having a mental breakdown just existing here.

Upstate New York is definitely on my radar but I also hate the cold... 🙈

TLDR: best states to teach in that are also "affordable" from your experience. Remember I coming from NY, almost anywhere is cheaper than here.

**EDIT: When I say "affordable" I really mean, my main goal is not making the highest salary. My main goal is finding a nice state that treats teachers well and cost of living isn't insane.

It’s only mid October but it’s already begun. Post nasal drip, body aches, and a low grade fever today.

I drink a lot of water, eat mostly healthy, exercise, and am not immunocompromised. I take vitamin c and prenatals daily. I wash my hands or put on hand sanitizer whenever I’m about to eat something at school.

This is my 5th year teaching and I’ve been sick all fall/winter for the last 4 years. I don’t want this to happen again. 😭

What works for you guys? What can I do?!

I’m exhausted of the parents saying in call “My child would never! We are strict and discipline our kids!” So why are they constantly surrounding themselves with classmates who always disrupt class? Why are they constantly on their phone?

Parent: “How will you discipline my child?”

Me: “I already wrote them a referral and moved their seat, I can seperate them from the entire class but I do not want to seclude them, I don’t think that would be fair to the student”

Why do I need to ask your kid over 5 plus times EVERY CLASS PERIOD to work on the assignment. Why do I have to “discipline” your kid when clearly they do not care to do what I asked? Is it not the parents job to teach respect? I’m year two and debating if I can put up with these behaviors for 6+ years.