r/soccer • u/Zer0_on_reddit • Jun 05 '24
Media Remembering this great video as it's men's mental health mont (not that we should only be thinking about these issues in June). Stay safe and healthy everyone!
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
992
u/Schnida Jun 05 '24
I can't believe it's already been a year since this came out. It really left an impact on me.
313
u/Yung2112 Jun 05 '24
Same here. Especially since I'm the stadium clown who has quieter friends.
Luckily I've been blessed with some amazing family members and partners that have allowed me and incentivized me to get help when I most needed it
7
u/blaugarana10 Jun 06 '24
Lucky to have positive people but kudos to you to be acceptable and take that step towards healing and processing! keep it up
39
u/Kayle_Bot Jun 05 '24
Watched it when it came out last year but watching it now made me teary eyed again, such an impactful piece of media
154
10
Jun 05 '24
I hadn't seen it before. But for some reason as I watched I had a hunch about the final twist.
10
u/raskinimiugovor Jun 05 '24
Only reason I had the same hunch is because I've heard about a couple of twists like that in real life. Makes me scared I'm gonna miss the signs from someone close, not sure what anyone can do other than to just be kind.
8
u/negasonictenagwarhed Jun 05 '24
I watched it for the first time now
I had a hunch when he told his friend to keep the scarf and seeming happier in that instance, like the relief they say people get when they decide to "do it"
324
u/INTPturner Jun 05 '24
It really is like this. It's so easy to act cheerful and say "I'm fine"
121
Jun 05 '24
Some of us lie as naturally as we breathe, even to ourselves.
20
u/Daniiiiii Jun 05 '24
The hardest person to lie to was myself. I know me. I know how I am. I know my own tricks and I know how to evade them. So when I finally learned how to lie to myself to convince myself to feel better for those fleeting moments, lying to others came as easy as breathing. I got so good at it that I kept up a facade for six to seven years, barely treading water on the inside but never letting it being seen. I became really good at it. Really good at making you think I am who I say I am, never showing who I actually am or my circumstances.
It took that long for those closes to me to realize and offer help. Vital help. Life-saving help. Help that I didn't ask for, couldn't ask for in the depths of it all. Help that changed my life for the better, gave me a chance to work on rebuilding it, picking up the pieces and getting on with it. They knew there was something wrong, but we never had the conversation for fear of awkwardness or fear of stepping on imaginary boundaries. They wouldn't broach the subject and I never reached out for help, not everyone does.
Have the difficult conversations. Be uncomfortable in their presence. Let there be discomfort. They will thank you for it. You will have saved them.
266
753
u/gin0clock Jun 05 '24 edited Jun 05 '24
Got arrested on a false allegation on Jan 1st.
Suspended from my job Jan 5th.
Told to move out of my rented house March 1st.
Sacked from my job May 1st.
Crashed my car into a 24 plate sports car last month.
Cat's having emergency surgery today that's costing us in excess of £1800.
Supposed to have my first talking therapies session from the NHS yesterday, the session never started.
Applied for 28 jobs in the last month, so far, 9 rejections.
Trying to keep my head up but sometimes it just feels like a battle at the moment. I'm lucky to have the support network that I have, because I'd be long gone by now. It feels like every institution that should have been or should be supporting me has let me down.
Reach out for help fellas.
Edit: I really did not expect such an overwhelming response, thank you everybody, this was a bit of a cry for help and you’ve all made me feel a hell of a lot better. I can get through this.
165
194
u/Jaynator11 Jun 05 '24 edited Jun 05 '24
Got laid off Jan 1st
Also year full of rejections for jobs (that have 200-600 applicants for basic jobs).
Wife got a cancerous tumor confirmed 3 weeks ago.
Been a fucking shit year as well, but have also wonderful people around me. Little by little, day by day. I'm just trying to survive every day, keeping my head as high as possible.
Our dog (golden) and her best friend (lab) has been a massive help in getting my mind elsewhere, and wife's family & friends who have been supportive.
47
u/LachsFilet Jun 05 '24
My girlfriend just broke up with me and I've been sad, but comments like these make me realise how spoiled I am, really.
I wish you and your wife all the best.30
u/Jaynator11 Jun 05 '24
I understand your sadness and have been there. It's valid.
I appreciate your kind words, she had a "succesful" surgery today. Still a LONG WAY to go, but a first big step is done. Doctors said it's 1 in a million case that it would happen at her age (under 30). Simply could not be explained, but here we are. This misery I've had regarding the job market has felt NOTHING in comparison to the health scares we're dealing with on a daily basis.
I wish you the best, I'd say surround yourself with hobbies and friends. Gym helps me a lot as well, although been really rough to get my head around it lately. When I go though, it has only been good for me.
I hope you find someone who appreciates you. But meanwhile... day by day, hopefully you feel A LITTLE better.
Much love.
13
u/_-_-_I_-_-_ Jun 05 '24
I'm not arrogant enough to think I can console you, but I would like to offer that these things will be beneficial to your life going forward in ways you probably don't see just yet. The way you describe the job hunt being small and manageable in comparison... sometimes we end up taking on nearly unmanageable situations and it makes us even more suited to handle smaller ones. Obviously the most crucial thing is your partner making it through. We're all wishing you the best. It's a bollocking when you expect support to be there that isn't. I hope you find your way through this and you're stronger for it. I want you to keep in mind that the toughest situations in life are the ones that stretch our character the most and can spurn the most growth. It rarely feels that way when it's happening. You're going to solve the problems you have the power to solve. You'll release more that isn't in your control. You'll find greater peace and sanity along the way. Keep going. We support you.
6
u/Jaynator11 Jun 05 '24
Thank you brother/sis, very kind of you- and encouraging. I very much appreciate it.
97
4
u/BeepBeepInaJeep Jun 06 '24
Don’t quit and keep leaning on those beautiful dogs and your loved ones. Things will get better with the job scenario too, just gotta push through these tough times. Sending your wife prayers for healing.
1
3
u/blaugarana10 Jun 06 '24
You and your wife are gonna need each other! Just try and get through one day at a time. you both got this!
1
33
19
u/Gman8491 Jun 05 '24
Glad you’re pulling through mate. Sounds like you already have great support but if you ever want to vent, need another perspective, or just want to talk, don’t hesitate to DM me. That goes for anybody else too. I’ve lived through some terrible times, I understand the struggle. Be well everyone
8
u/kekerones Jun 05 '24
You are going through a battle, keep on fighting, there will be better days! You are strong!
3
u/PreparationOk8604 Jun 05 '24
Don't ever give up. Remember i am there for u. Just reply here or DM me if required. Things will get better but u have to live long enough to see them get better.
I graduated in 2022 & didn't get a job for 1 year. Verbal abuse from parents became unbearable so joined a job as IT support that paid peanuts. Now have a job that pays entry level salary & has health insurance.
4
u/Brief_Fault6223 Jun 05 '24
I recently did CBT talking therapy, I initially try to do it via the NHS but waiting times were long and I needed help. I pay to see someone privately it was about £65 a session but without a doubt I can assure it is the best £65 you'll ever spend. Invest in yourself and make sure that you get the help you need even if the NHS therapy free sometimes you just don't click with the person etc and it's worth spending the money to find someone that makes you comfortable and provides the help you need, your mental health is worth every penny of it.
3
Jun 05 '24
Just keep in mind nothing you have stated is worth ending your life over.
I have also felt the unnerving whole-body sinking feeling of complete and utter doom — not knowing what may happen next, and suicidal thoughts, and the entire spectrum — but your life is worth more than all the world combined, remember that.
2
u/FireZeLazer Jun 05 '24
Hope things start looking up mate.
How come your therapy session didn't start?
1
u/gin0clock Jun 06 '24
Sat on a teams meeting link for 2 hours with a screen that said “this live event has not started yet”
1
u/FireZeLazer Jun 06 '24
Really sorry to hear that.
I'd recommend contacting the service and getting this sorted - no idea why that would have happened.
1
u/gin0clock Jun 06 '24
Yeah I dropped the email provided a message to let them know, I love the NHS but my primary concern is someone else being absolutely desperate not accessing the help.
1
u/FireZeLazer Jun 06 '24
That's a normal feeling, but you deserve the support as much as anyone.
You're not a barrier to other people being unable to access help - talking therapies sees a lot of people. For people absolutely desperate they can access secondary care.
2
u/BeepBeepInaJeep Jun 06 '24
Keep your chin up, lad. Sending you the best vibes. Keep grinding and remember that things can always get better, if you look for the good things in life there is plenty that you can say you are blessed with. Especially sending prayers for your kitty and their surgery 😽 hang in there!
2
u/HazardCinema Jun 05 '24
That’s really rough. But you’re still going, so that shows how strong your character is. You’ll do great once you make it out of this tough phase. Stay strong, keep talking and keep reaching out for support.
3
1
1
u/cautiouslifeguard1 Jun 06 '24 edited Jul 04 '24
husky unite disagreeable gaping marble worm pet memory reminiscent noxious
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
2
Jun 09 '24
Oh, that's terrible to hear. I genuinely hope things improve as soon as possible for you. No innocent person deserves to go through that. Keep your head up high, and (this is based on your Liverpool flair) walk on with hope in your heart ❤️
112
Jun 05 '24
This ad left such an impact. And I also learned that the gesture of giving away personal belongings could have very significant meaning for a depressed person. Such a small and simple thing, so often could be overlooked.
15
196
u/frodakai Jun 05 '24 edited Jun 05 '24
This advert hit me like a train when it first aired.
I worked in youth services for 15 years, mostly with teens in mental health crisis, and thought I'd seen every type of MH advert/infomercial going. I was pretty numb to it all, and then this advert brought me to tears.
55
u/Gman8491 Jun 05 '24
It’s really a great depiction. I been there myself, acting like nothing bothers me when personally I’m going through hell. It’s rough man. Take care if yourself, be well.
12
u/NakedBryan Jun 05 '24
Another great one that I've seen posted a few times on reddit, it's a 4 minute short film but well worth it.
143
u/dhduxudb Jun 05 '24
I think about this video almost daily. Truly heartbreaking
43
u/Willsgb Jun 05 '24
This video, and another one that I think Mind did, showing videos of a bunch of people, having fun, mucking around and making jokes. At the end of that video, the revelation is given that these are all people who committed suicide, and those were the last videos made of them.
Wept uncontrollably watching these. No one should have to feel such pain, to the point where they decide that is the only solution.
21
u/FireZeLazer Jun 05 '24
It was Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM).
They are a UK-based organisation and have a suicide hotline (telephone or online) from 5pm to midnight, open daily.
4
135
56
u/Zwervertje Jun 05 '24
I'm 5 years on from the end of a toxic 9-year relationship that started in my teens and ended brutally. It knocked me on my ass and the only way I knew not to die was to just drink myself into a coma for 6 months. I was nearing the end of my 20's and still lived with an abusive father that decided I was worthless for not adhering to his religion when I was 10, and used me to vent all of his frustrations as a result. I eventually reached the point where I just couldn't do it anymore once I'd laid in bed so long that the muscles in my legs had deteriorated badly and I had to scoot down the stairs. The day on which I had decided to kill myself was the happiest I had had in years, the weight off my shoulders was enormous, but one of the few people I still spoke to had picked up on it and informed my mother about an hour before I had planned to end it.
A few weeks later I was in therapy after being fast-tracked by my doctor. It helped me stick it out for another year and realize what kind of changes I wished I could make, but still couldn't. Having kind people around me and watching them deal with their issues helped me not feel alone, and helped me see that I had been running away from things they were brave enough to let themselves feel.
A year later I chose to leave my parents home to live in a homeless shelter, because I felt distance from my parents' was needed in whatever way I could get it in order to progress. It was rough on me but it was necessary. After a year I got my own apartment, where I've now been living for about a year. I adopted a cat 2 months ago, she's been keeping me company. Today was my interview to go back into therapy after 4 years of sticking it out on my own and working to try and reach a point where I felt I could do what I couldn't do there before. It went well. I'm not there yet but I'm getting there, and I wish the same for everyone else struggling. ❤️
6
u/PreparationOk8604 Jun 05 '24
Thanks a lot for sharing man. Stay strong brother. Stories like yours give me hope.
4
44
74
u/official_bagel Jun 05 '24
Such a powerful and important video. You never know what others are going through. Cherish those around you.
19
u/StockholmBaron Jun 05 '24
Very well made. Incredibly emotional video. This is such an important message.
14
15
14
u/domin8668 Jun 05 '24
I rewatch it sometimes. Never fails to make me cry, even tho I've never been a match goer
8
11
10
Jun 05 '24
Fuck. I’ve never seen this but don’t even know what to say. I relate to the both of them.
10
u/ncocca Jun 05 '24
Powerful video. Thanks for sharing. Mental health is still not talked about enough.
10
u/Cosmocrator08 Jun 05 '24
This should be played in every corner of the world, school, university, sport events. It's a masterpiece
7
u/doublex12 Jun 05 '24
This video was me. Always known as the happy, peppy person. I hit a wall last summer and have been seeing a therapy now. Talk about life saving. It does get better.
2
u/ramxquake Jun 06 '24
How do you find a decent therapist who's a good fit for your particular conditions?
2
u/doublex12 Jun 06 '24
My co workers parents are therapists I met with them and they referred me to one. Also helped that I live in nyc and there are 10000
9
3
u/Bishcop3267 Jun 06 '24
Man I forgot about this one. It’s crazy how a football club has created one of the best mental health awareness videos around.
7
Jun 05 '24
What an amazing advert. I know that feeling. Feeling depressed but acting like you’re not. Omg, this is amazing. Thank you, op, for sharing.
5
Jun 05 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
7
u/Eymerich_ Jun 05 '24
Robin Williams is a peculiar case, he had an horrible (and incurable) illness which destroyed his quality of life, he probably did the most sensible thing by taking his own life.
Still the content of your post remains 100% valid.
2
2
u/Soleil06 Jun 06 '24
For me its Chester from Linkin Park, they were such a big part of my childhood. On paper it also looked like he had everything.
This photo always hits me pretty hard:
3
3
u/PM_ME_SOME_LUV Jun 06 '24
Wow what a tremendous video. Truly impactful. This honestly came at the right time for me.
3
3
u/rambii Jun 06 '24
This is top 3 video i have watched on this topic, great job all around from Norwich
3
3
u/Gullflyinghigh Jun 06 '24
Never seen that before, hits like a truck (which is a good thing in all fairness)
1
u/Zer0_on_reddit Jun 06 '24
It does and it is, I'm glad I could reach a few people sharing this.
1
u/Gullflyinghigh Jun 06 '24
Puts me in mind of an Irish drink driving advert I saw online somewhere a few years ago. It was utterly brutal.
2
2
u/Mississippster Jun 06 '24
Literally having my first full blown therapy session in an hour and came across this and made me emotional. Hang in there friends
4
1
1
1
u/VinitheTrash Jun 06 '24
I was a about to say "Man, I don't think this is that good. I for once, as shitty as I can be in a day, have football as a great way to smile. Sometimes I go through the entire day quiet, not wanting to be anywhere near people, feeling bad about myself, and then have the 90 minutes of a match as the best part of my day, it's when I can be who I am without thinking about what anyone else will think" and all that jazz
And the end caught me really off guard. Damn...
0
u/Bill3ffinMurray Jun 06 '24
Remember when I first saw this ad, and the twist was shattering. You can see the signs though - "that was worth it", telling his mate he can keep his scarf.
-52
u/Dante_2 Jun 05 '24
Well I mean obviously he is having a hard time, he's a Norwich supporter.
39
23
-30
-132
Jun 05 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
87
u/PabFOz Jun 05 '24
They meant we shouldn’t think about men’s mental health in only the month of June, but every month of the year. Not everything is political mate.
-84
Jun 05 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
49
u/-Quiche- Jun 05 '24
Is this a zero sum game?
15
u/gusvdgun Jun 05 '24
Sorry mate, just spent 16 hours today thinking about gay rights, no time for any other thoughts
5
u/Zer0_on_reddit Jun 05 '24
I agree with your last point, but I wasn't referencing anything like that, chill out dude, we should think about every important issue more than a month a year.
-88
-38
u/crisselll Jun 05 '24
Damn right you better check your mental health if you’re a Norwich supporter!
/s stay strong if you’re suffering fellas
-28
•
u/AutoModerator Jun 05 '24
Mirrors / Alternative Angles
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.