r/SipsTea • • 4d ago

SMH Museum of Useless Inventions

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489

u/Size---Queen 4d ago

It's also not practical.

Imagine hitting the jump button in a parking garage.

Do you trust teSSla drivers with a jump button?

171

u/Superseaslug 4d ago

Imagine getting in a fender bender and that tank ruptures?

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Fuck imagine trying to outrun the cops or hell imagine cops with this thing.

Park that bastard on a roof

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u/BatDaddyWV 4d ago edited 4d ago

Imagine you are getting chased by the cops and use that jump button to transition to a highway over head. Or hitting that 0-60 in under 1 second boost, leaving them in a cloud. They would be gone before the smoke even cleared enough for cops to see where you went. This is the reason it will never be street legal.

Edit: I just though of another thing. Jumping over road blocks and spike strips. Imagine there are a bunch of cop cars waiting down the road, blocking the whole thing. You drive at them full speed and just when you are close enough to make them shit their pants you hit that jump button, land on the other side and hit the speed boost while they all stand there like idiots. I want a jailbroken one of these just to rage bait pigs.

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u/chotchss 4d ago

That helicopter tracking you from overhead just laughing

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u/OkCarpenter5773 4d ago

if it keeps up lmao

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u/Somechill 4d ago

They’re pretty fast.

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u/OkCarpenter5773 4d ago

yeah but do the math instead of making stuff up. the police does not use apaches and other military choppers but rather regular stuff. a google search vields MD 530F and MD 500E as two common models for the police in USA and their VNA is 282km/h or 175mph. an amd gt for example has 315km/h vmax for the 4door and 325kmh for gt black so 196 and 202mph respectively. already a bit faster than the helicopter and they are certainly not the fastest on the market. musk promised 400kmh for the roadster so itll maaaaybe reach 300 but still faster

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u/Green_215 4d ago

Yeah but you can't drive 300 on a freeway swerving between cars. Helicopters don't have this problem

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u/Asron87 4d ago

Yeah because they don’t have to keep jumping over things.

I’m guessing the eleventy billion horse power sure helps on the straight ways for the musks rocket jumper thingy.

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u/KenBoCole 4d ago

Thats not continous, and never will be unless we discover a new chemical mixture.

Its a one and done thing.

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u/Somechill 4d ago

They’re pretty fast. And hauling all that extra surely isn’t good for vehicle weight.

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u/killamike49 4d ago

this isn’t GTA you go 60 and press that button you gonna meet god lil buddy

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Need smoke grenades shooting out the back like James Bond as well

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u/BatDaddyWV 4d ago

Seemed like it had about 10 "smoke" grenades all around it. MF looked like the Geek Bar factory.

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u/dany_xiv 4d ago

That thing would not let you run from cops, it would lock you in and drive you to the police station

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u/BronzeEnt 4d ago

Video games have made us all compromised.

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u/Valoneria 4d ago

Cops would just shoot it, rupture the pressurized tanks, and send in a sweeper for clean up after.

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Technically any smart car can be disabled remotely

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u/teraldorivera 4d ago

I think what everyone is missing isn't the ridiculousness of this vehicle in the now, but it's innovations like this that are paving the way for further advancements in the future. Sure the realistic application of this is rather outlandish, but this technology is still cool to witness.

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u/Potential_Ad7465 4d ago

Cold gas thrusters that help excel 0-60 in under 1 second is cool for people into racing, the sucker system is great for everyday cornering. I don’t know about the flying though

0

u/Kelvinek 2d ago

What innovation though? Small precise thrusters aren't really new. You can literally watch "multiple kill vechicle hover test" from early 2000s

This is just a PR stunt to bait people who never cared about this sector of tech, and clearly you are one of the targets.

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u/half-full-cumdump 4d ago

With the pressures needed to do this sort of thing, they'll have to send a sweeper to clean up the cop too

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u/eathquake 4d ago

I think cops will have some sort of specialist squad with these. Get a sniper in a flying car and suddenly that gunman on the roof is in clear view.

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

They are moving to have kill switches in all smart cars

Federal mandate by 2027 all vehicles have to have facial recognition and eye scanners

https://www.nbcchicago.com/consumer/could-your-next-car-watch-you-federal-mandate-faces-scrutiny/3962128/

Might not pass but it possibly can.

Any car that has tech is basically a security issue for multiple reasons and personally I'm hanging on to my FJ cruiser and pre Chrysler Jeep.

I don't want tech in vehicles at all it's expensive and it's basically trying to fuck you at every angle.

For example the Data they get can be used against you because they sell it to insurance companies and they also want subscriptions in vehicles for shit that's already built into them.

Oh and if something happens it costs more money.

My friend has a new BMW we are in Alaska the cold killed the battery and in a normal vehicle you just replace it.

But because it's electric it's 500$ for them to replace because all the electric shit needs to be reset and it's all technical.

Like dude it's a fucking battery.

People are going to get real sick of smart thingsike fridges and coffee Makers cars etc... when they figure out how much Data is being sold on them and how expensive it is to fix it and unreliable it is.

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u/submit_to_pewdiepie 4d ago

Which would be bad why

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u/tibetje2 4d ago

The tank has to be under extreme presure for the jets to function. If they rupture it's a bomb.

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u/submit_to_pewdiepie 4d ago

I dont see how that would he worse than if the jet went off

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u/tibetje2 4d ago

You have a shot at living if the jet turns off. If a tank ruptures it's guaranteed death.

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u/Superseaslug 4d ago

Oh I dunno a localized explosion and associated shrapnel?

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u/Humble_Philosopher48 4d ago

Its a limited production non street legal model that a handful of rich people are going to park in a warehouse and never drive

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Now you know one of them is going to push that button and have no plan on what to do after that.

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u/The_Infamous_C 4d ago

Yes, but it won't be the first time Whistlin' Diesel has done something to a car without worrying about the consequences. Won't even be the first Tesla.

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Idk no landing strip and the battery is basically a creamation bomb.

I can't see how yeeting up and landing on the battery ends without instant ashes

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u/The_Infamous_C 4d ago

Huh? I was talking about this guy Whistlingdiesel.

Don't know why you think the car would land on its battery and not the tires. Do you think that Elon wouldn't use all of that knowledge that Space-X developed using rockets to land the first stage booster of their starship rockets, to slow the descent of the car. This idea is dumb for any practical use, but his engineers could make it work. I could see him using it as a way to show off and get advertising for less money than paying for actual ads.We're already giving him free advertising right here. It would be pulled out for events like races and maybe airshows like some Tesla version of the Oscar Meyer Wiener mobile. The air-ready version is only available to people Tesla offers it to, so only stunt drivers will be able to fly them.

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u/Morberis 4d ago

100% I expect that due to the very very low production numbers the automation on that will be half baked. Sure the tires would have touched down, but oops, there was an obstacle

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Yeah I know who he is he broke the backend of a cyber truck.

Elon has no knowledge he pays people that have the knowledge to make things and takes the credit.

If you knew anything and this isn't a insult about anything he's attached to and listend to him you would know he's a dumbass.

The cyber truck was his idea and every engineer told him why straight panels are bad and he said 5 microns spacing and again the engineers said why thats a bad idea but no he had to have it and the rest is history.

Musk was born with wealth buys companies hires competent people and takes the credit.

I know people that worked for Tesla I know people that have interacted with him I know during his supposed long night's sleeping at space x that was him in a coke bender.

Right now he has 5 companies and sits on shitter getting blasted on ketamine.

He's a very successful con man he's probably the most successful con man of all time maybe outside of Trump.

This fucking dumbass said he's putting data centers on the moon and if you know basic highschool things you know theirs no air in space so heat cannot move and that means data centers burn and this isn't taking into consideration the horrible latency.

Here's a list of everything unethical and illegal things he's done.

https://elonmusk.today/

Oh and he's trying to meddle in our elections and Europes

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u/The_Infamous_C 4d ago

Yes, I know all of this. Like I said, he'll pay his engineers to make it work as a marketing gimmick.

Much like this flying car, the moon data center is technologically possible, but not practical. They would have to circulate a fluid through a cooling loop in contact with the lunar crust. It's actually a lot easier to cool than satalites, which we already cool now. It's just less efficient than cooling on Earth, way more expensive and has a lot of latency in the connection. They would probably run into bandwidth issues with the signal too.

That's the thing about thinking that "basic highschool things" are all you need to know if something is a good idea. Engineers with degrees know how to make a lot of things that a person who only has a high school diploma doesn't. After figuring out if it's possible someone has to decide if the project is practical. Making a flying car as an advertising gimmick to sell a new product might be practical. Building data centers on the moon when there's land for sale on Earth, probably not.

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u/Wonderful-Process792 4d ago

People have way more regard for that guy for driving a truck off a cement platform to destroy it than they do to Tesla for making a car that can fly in a barrel roll. I think it's dumb.

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u/AgentPaper0 4d ago

No you don't understand, they need it to make their daring action sequence escape from the impending apocalypse they're causing.

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u/Tiafves 4d ago

Some influencer is going to get one and get fucked up if not die from trying to use it.

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u/quoththekraven 4d ago

It won't even get that far. This "car" is 200lbs of fiberglass and wheels with a small motor. 2000+lbs doesn't move like that, has never moved like that, and will never move like that. This is smoke and mirrors and everyone is falling for it.

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u/TekkunDashi 4d ago

it shoots air pressurized to 10k psi, at the ground, any dust and or pebbles are going to fly out like buckshot rounds.

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

It's a propulsion system it's not new and it's fucking dangerous attaching it to a 5klbs vehicle with a bomb underneath it.

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u/YayWanderer 4d ago

Can't even trust them just driving normally... 🙈🙈🙈

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Chilling in your crib and a Tesla comes through the roof.

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u/Drokstab 4d ago

Imagine hitting the jump button of a freeway and causing a massive accident from blowing dust and shit everywhere.

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Imagine taking that in a school zone and someone gets curious.

Or fuck the airport.

There's so many ways this ends bad

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u/sedativumxnx 4d ago

Absolutely. The company that hasn't figured out self-driving is making flying cars now. And they're going to be a big hit! And everyone is going to love him, I mean them.

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u/LumpyBuy8447 4d ago

It’s all computer!

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u/da316 4d ago

Don’t forget to invest!

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u/Wonderful-Process792 4d ago

"The company" that has't figured out self-driving is all car companies ever.

I think Waymo has reached the important thresholds but people will argue on that.

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u/Fartcraft1 4d ago

Jokes on you, i cant wait to do a mario kart feather shortcut through the park to shorten my 5 minute commute.

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u/GamleRosander 4d ago

It's a marketing thing, lol..

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u/Silent_Historian_552 4d ago

Tesla drivers in my experience are some of the worst drivers. I have a theory in why, I used to own a dodge challenger srt comes stock with 400 hp and mine was manual, it was crazy fast and could accelerate insanely but you really felt the speed with the roar of the engine and the sports car suspension. Tesla’s I’m pretty sure are way faster 0-60 buy they feel more like riding in my mom’s minivan smooth and acceleration is very quiet. I feel like due to this people don’t realize how insane they are driving in one.

I can only imagine a tesla with a jump feature. I’ve seen so many wrecks with teslas some even tesla on tesla

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u/Distantstallion 4d ago

Apparently the "thrust system" is tied to an exercise ball sized tank filled with high pressure nitrogen so either it leaks and kills everyone in the car or a blast from the thrusters knocks out people nearby

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u/bawbthebawb 4d ago

Imagine hitting the jump button and spilling your beer all over the driver seat and puking not because of the booze but because of the car spinning

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u/Difficult_Dark9991 4d ago

I don't trust them with a car in the first place, so... gonna have to say "no."

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u/Literary_Lady 4d ago

SS! Have not seen this before. Had to stop myself from actually laughing out loud to not wake up my dog (it’s 5:30am where I am, can’t sleep so naturally i’m browsing stupid stuff on Reddit)

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Not mine someone else said it here I thought it was hilarious.

I could see someone making stickers of Tesla and making the two SSs lighting Bolts and sticking them all over.

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u/kynru 4d ago

"Do you trust teSSla drivers with a jump button?"

People buy cars for all sorts of reasons, at different times. Imagine being so caught up in hating Elon that you automatically assume everyone who drives a Tesla is the same person. That’s just blind hate with zero critical thinking. Classic dumb redditor.

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u/Size---Queen 4d ago

Elon a Nazi and his family made their money through slavery and anyone who supports him still is a piece of shit.

If you sit at a table with Nazis and don't get up denounce them and leave you are a Nazi.

This isn't a grey issue it's black and white.

This is who you are defending

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u/kynru 4d ago

I’m not defending Elon, I’m pointing out how ridiculous and stupid your generalisation is. People buy cars for different reasons, at different times. Plenty of Tesla owners bought theirs before Elon became controversial, and others simply don’t know about him. You can’t possibly know the beliefs or motivations of every person driving a Tesla, so acting like they all deserve the same condemnation is just braindead. That’s some genuinely dumbass logic, but I guess it’s easier to feel morally superior when you don’t bother thinking beyond the surface.

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u/da316 4d ago

It’s safer to assume all Tesla drivers are morons. So when one inevitably does something stupid and dangerous, you are already prepared. And I’m guessing you’re a Tesla owner then? 😂

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u/kynru 4d ago

No, I don't have a Tesla and no it's not safer to assume all tesla drivers are morons just how it's not safe to assume all black people are thieves or arab people terrorists.

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u/da316 4d ago

They actually teach drivers to assume others make poor decisions when driving. Don’t try to make the massive leap to racism.

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u/kynru 4d ago

"Massive leap" you are insulting and stereotyping a whole bunch of different people based on one thing they have in common, it's not a massive leap, it's pretty much the same thing.

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u/da316 4d ago

No thinking Tesla owners are stupid and literal racism are not the same thing.

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u/kynru 4d ago

Obviously, the severity and historical context aren’t the same, but the underlying reasoning is: you’re taking an individual characteristic, using it to make assumptions about an entire group, and then treating those assumptions as justification for insulting them. You don’t know why someone bought a Tesla, what they think of Elon, or anything about their intelligence. Racism is a much more serious manifestation of the same general tendency to stereotype people based on group membership, but that doesn’t make the underlying reasoning in one case any less stupid than in the other. The fact that one is worse doesn’t make the other reasonable.

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u/Zromaus 4d ago

Imagine thinking it won’t have sensors

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u/DomeSlave 4d ago

Failing sensors are among the top reasons why vehicles malfunction.