33f: I’ve battled with Major Depressive Disorder for years. I tried meds and failed then tried again. I’m currently on an antidepressant and mood stabilizer but it’s not helping and I attribute it to situational depression. Before I came home to my parents house I was in a mental health treatment center and my depression went away. Now I am back home and my depression is back. My nursing career is on hold because I self-reported to this program to help nurses and it’s complete hell. I never had a problem at work, I was doing excellent. I shouldn’t have reported because ever since it’s costing me thousands of dollars for drug tests and program costs (no matter what you’re In it for). I never diverted on the job but a lot of nurses are in this program because they diverted drugs.. absolutely insane. When it comes to actual mental health issues they treat you even worse. They stripped me of my dignity and my quality of life is poor since I started the program in 2022. It’s a 5 year program but because I had a couple psychiatric hospitalizations I have to repeat the program. I’m in an unhealthy home because my dad can be really mean, like the way he talks to my mom and I sometimes. I’ve had significant trauma in this house but I don’t have the money to move out yet. I’m bored, lonely, depressed, stagnant, apathetic, and unmotivated. I feel like my purpose was stripped from me. I just want to give up but at the same time I don’t. What’s keeping me sane is my boy dog. I don’t know what I would do without him.
Anyways, if anyone reads this, thank you. Also to people that hopefully respond, thank you.

I wish i wouldn't have come to exist as me. There is nothing but pain to feel here. What is the point of anything. What is the point of living.

I wish there was a power cod that i could pull to just shut myself off. It is really a joke that is set by this life that I have to kill myself to be free of this hellscape.

Bringing a child to this world is the worst thing in my opinion. I never want to be anything.

What is the point of having ambition when everything is just so dumb.

So many times I'll read about a young person dying in an accident, from some sickness, or their life being unjustly taken by someone else. Such promising lives. So many unfulfilled dreams. Makes so sad; it's just so unfair. Why do I deserve to live, while they could have done so much more if they were still here? I wish I could give my life to one of these people. Just give them a second chance at life. One useful thing my worthless ass can do before I die. I think I've lived long enough to know that it won't get better for me, and that I don't deserve to be here anymore.

I can't do school. There is no work. What's left. It's hopeless. What do i do. I have nothing. It's all hopeless and worthless and I'll never have anything at all.

Taking my life means cleaning my room and writing a farewell letter and replying to everyone. It’s probably not necessary but I figured I should atleast do all of those things before dying. I have no energy for anything but atleast it’s keeping me alive

Idk I just wondered if anyone else is feeling like this right now

Never understood. But the thought of ruining my life with substance abuse is kind of comforting. I’ve lost everything that matters to me already before starting to drink and getting geeked.

It feels like I’m doing this subconsciously to see what I have left so I can see it leave. Once there truly is nothing left I will know.
I hate and love numbing myself. Everything I do contradicts itself. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

What'd add meaning to a bankrupt middle aged cancer patient without children and spouse?

It never gets better, people have been telling me hay it gets better for years, but it fucking doesn’t. I’ve been depressed for 5 years and I’m genuinely losing my shi. I think imma kms, I try to get my life together but I always end up depressed and hopeless again. I grew up, the only thing that changed was my mindset, the struggles are still there. Genuinely the only thing I believe that will save me is probably love or some shi but I gave up on that too ig.

The lengths I will go to to stay depressed. Makes my depression even worse. The cycle is so draining.

i have no motivation to work. i have no hobbies.
it ruins me seeing how horrible politics are and how evil people can be. there are such disgusting cruel things going on in this world. it breaks me up inside bc i can’t do anything about it. i’m an empath and i see and hear all these disgusting things and it gets to me.
this world is full of such evil people. i see the news and everything going on in this world and its too much for me to bare.

i don’t feel like i can be a functioning human like everyone else. i just want to be a bird and fly at the beach and listen to the ocean waves. without worry of a job, or money and bills. i don’t want to drive.

i’ve been waiting my whole life for it to get better and it never has. i genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. i don’t want to live if this is how life is.

i’m genuinely asking how is someone supposed to live if i know im supposed to be more than this?

i can’t just be a financial burden to someone for the rest of my life because im too hopeless to work. but i have no care in the world to go work for a company that doesn’t care about me. dealing with made up rules by a made up company getting paid made up money.

everything on this earth is made up yet we all follow these rules like it’s set. time is made up. money is made up. jobs are made up. borders are made up. words are made up. we came from sticks and stones and yet we decided to created taxes??? like what

why can’t i just experience the earth without all this made up shit.

i just want to sit at the water all day long if i want to.

why do we have to pay to live?? why do i have to work for a made up currency just to afford to eat on the earth that has free food growing from it. i don’t want to live on this earth if im not allowed to experience it without being held back by made up rules.

so my question is: why should i continue to live if im just a financial burden to the people around me?

How do I even start changing it?

Also everyone tells me to not use AI as a substitute for therapy but AI atleast answers me. All humans do is leave me.

26 yr old mom of 3. I’ve suffered from depression off and on my whole life but after having my youngest 8 months ago it’s gotten worse. I cannot get myself to do anything. Zero motivation even for the simplest tasks, and anything I’ve enjoyed doing in the past, it doesn’t satisfy me now.

I haven’t had depression manifest in this way before and I’m literally starting to feel crazy. I see a therapist and soon a psychiatrist as well. I’m not on any meds but open to them. I just want my life back, I’m so miserable and it’s hard to find ways to distract myself when things I used to enjoy don’t do it for me anymore.

J'ai l'impression que tout le monde est vivant autour de moi sauf moi. Je n'existe pas. Je suis transparent. Je suis invisible. Je le déteste.

I'm so upset right now I want to ripe my skin off

I want to die

On June 22nd, 2024, the only girlfriend ive ever had cheated on me during her study abroad trip in Italy after three years together with a guy she knew for three days, then started dating someone new within two months. I really thought that after a year or so I’d get over it. Its been more than two now, and I’m not. Ive turned into an alcoholic and I really just cant do it anymore. My boss is starting to notice my drop-off at work, I haven’t been able to get myself attracted to a woman since the break-up, and Ive just been an asshole in general. Ive tried therapy. I just dont know what to do

Is it normal to feel like a kid with all these emotions when you're super depressed? Im crying a lot Does anyone else feel these feelings? and will they pass?

This feels like a last resort for me (turning to Reddit) but I have no where else to turn. I’ve faced 6 very close and personal deaths in the span of a decade, all but 1 being immediate family and I think this is where it spawns from. The last 2 years have made me a different person and not in a good way. I’ve gone as far as getting medical help this year but that only does so much. I binge eat. I pick up a new hobby every other month. I read. I journal. I plan dates with my partner. I listen to music. I leave a show or music on in the background 24/7 so that I don’t even have to think. I book the vacations. I’ve made my home my safe place. But sometimes I don’t want to come home. I attend church. I do alllllll the things I can think of to do. But I still find myself scared to be alone when I’m in a bad headspace because I get impulsive with my thoughts and I don’t want to actually hurt myself. I know I don’t. I just truly don’t know what else to do. At the end of the day. I just feel sad and lonely. Any advice?

I am 22M, still pursuing my undergrad degree, and don’t know for how long will I pursue it, It should have been completed last year but I am a jerk

I didn’t appear for 2/3 sem for focusing on my CA degree but even after 5 attempts I can’t clear Intermediate and now I don’t even think i will appear in those exams again, It’s not like I am dumb and can’t learn anything but in the exam hall, I just can’t focus on writing, even though I have already prepared everything it just vanish in exam, Can’t even complete my exam within the given time

many of my friends are already doing good in their life, so it just feel like I am the worst coz they are LIVING their life while I am not even sure about surviving.

I was a bright kid in school but now Studying exhaust me, and all I ever did was studying so now I am just useless, I tried learning Ai, I also learn Python, vibe coding and other things on my own, created an e-commerce website without being from a tech background and after all that it was just like me zero ROI investment.

I can’t even make friends anymore, all I have are from my school time and those friends already have new frnds so we rarely talk

I am far away from my hometown in a unknown city with all strangers around me, I feel like I can’t do anything anymore

I tried to find jobs coz I got a debt of around ₹50k which I can’t tell anyone haha

I can’t even express myself clearly It’s 3.30am can’t sleep all night, exhausted, feeling fucked up coz the thing is all my life i never thought i would be like this

Some of my schoolmate are really really doing great, I am broke, my physical appearance is average, mentally i am exhausted, emotionally god know what is wrong with me, can’t hold a conversation, no sign of confidence and I don’t think there will be confidence coz confidence need core strength but All i have is this emptiness and emptiness can’t provide anything

Everything which is the reason of this emptiness, this void could easily be avoided but no, I can’t even do that, the sole reason of my doom is me and maybe that is why i just can’t forgive me

Idk how will i survive and should I even survive?

i don’t even know how to start this i’m not diagnosed but i’ve been hating my life for ages now 5+ years im also 15. My mum has psychosis it got really bad when i started high school the first day i went in i found out she changed my second name to what i guess the voices in her head told her. But even before this my life has never been good i moved like 5 times from London when i was 7 until i came to Newcastle where i live now due to dv. But even in the court case my mum told alot of lies abt my dad but some of the physical abuse was true. Im now fine with my dad i go to London every holiday but apart from that we don’t really speak. About 6 years ago my older sister left our house to go live with her grandparents (we have different dads) and i’ve only seen her once since then. Like a year ago (she was abt 18) she got with a 36 year old man and is now like brainwashed bad with christianity it’s so bad i can’t have a conversation because she can’t go a second without mentioning god and she’s even having a baby with this man who married her. And it hurts me but i try not to speak to her because it just makes me upset when i speak to her kinda feels like i’ve lost a sibling. Around year 7 i stopped going school everyday i lost quite a lot of friends and haven’t had above a 45 percent attendance since then im now in year 11. I feel so behind in school but i still wake up and physically feel like i cant go in i just feel like my whole entire life ive never truly been happy. And i also feel like i can never be happy or have a good future. I haven’t went out with my family (household) for literally years not to go shopping or get food or just any activity. This is mainly because of my mums psychosis and it also caused me to kind of raise myself as she’s the only parent in the house. I started smoking weed like 2 years ago now i quit for a bit but recently i started again. In the past 2 years ive also tried to kill myself 3 times with very high amounts of codeine that’s prescribed to my mum because i thought it would be the most painless way to die from research and the last time i tried was a good 6 months ago and i took like 1.8grams of 30mg tablets. Since then i started going to the gym and honestly felt a little bit better but when year 11 started it got worse due to the pressure of school and coming back to my house cause i spent most of the 6 week holidays in London. I’m really not the person to ask for help i don’t think i ever will or even tell anyone about my attempts i just want life to get better or to die. Tbh i physically can’t see a future for me like i wish i could just drop dead and this would all go away and no one even knows ive felt this way for a long time now. I just honestly haven’t got a clue what to do my mums started getting fined aswell for me not going to school and i just feel like if im going to kill myself it’s better to just do it now. But i wouldn’t know how to go about it im not gonna try od again i just don’t think it would work i really wish there was another way to get through this but truthfully i dont think there is. I’ll be starting college next year then soon have to get a job and try make a life for myself but i can barely get out of bed in the morning so i know that life won’t just get better. I feel like i missed a lot but its hard to try put my whole life into words ill reply to questions but i don’t expect anyone to comment i just wanted to put my thoughts out there. If u read this far i appreciate it ik its kinda long

I'm so beyond stressed. Everything is going wrong. I hate how I'm living

Yes I go to both a psychologist and psychiatrist, they're not proving to be worth my time but that's just the standard of my country.

I had a job but it was living hell so I quit, then it backfired but hopefully this will get fixed.

I numb myself with doom scrolling and gaming, don't say "do something creative" cuz I'm incapable, and "working towards a better tomorrow" doesn't work either.

I'm looking for things to do to fill out my days and turn off my brain while I wait for things to happen

Lately, everything just feels like a lot. Even basic self-care, like showering, feels overwhelming. I’ve been neglecting myself, my anxiety has been through the roof, and I have little to no motivation or energy despite being on a good path for myself. I’ve been to therapy before, and it helped, but I don’t have the time or money to go consistently. I don’t really have anyone to talk to or express my thoughts to, and the overthinking makes everything feel even heavier. I know I need to take control, and I’ve overcome these feelings before, but right now, I’m struggling to find the words to explain what I’m going through.

I have been severely depressed all my life. Don't know why. I'm in higher education now and it's getting more obvious I am different to others. They care about grades. They care about submitting on time. They care about their aspirations and want to do something with their lives. Nothing makes me feel anything anymore. The threat of punishment for being late, failing for not submitting my work. I don't care. I don't know why I'm so different. I don't know how to stop it. Meds have done nothing. I wonder if there's something fundamentally and physically broken with my brain maybe in the way people who are born psychopaths don't feel but I'm not a psychopath I just don't experience joy or anxiety or fear or anything really. I feel like I'm watching everyone live as an entirely different species as me